


The Void.

by TheSlowBurner



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016), Stranger Things - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2020-07-10 15:51:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19908265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSlowBurner/pseuds/TheSlowBurner
Summary: adjectiveadjective: void1.not valid or legally binding."the contract was void"2.completely empty."void spaces surround the tanks"nounnoun: void; plural noun: voids1.a completely empty space."the black void of space"verb2.discharge or drain away (water, gases, etc.)."the gases are usually voided into the mechanism"





	1. Prologue.

It was a hot summer night in Chicago, and even hotter for those stuck on the streets trying to keep cool. Having to lay on the hot pavement that absorbed the unrelenting heat of the sun during the day. Even worse for the people who were homeless in the industrial are on the outskirts of the city.

It was hard enough trying to get to sleep with the heat and the racket of someone running around, knocking over garbage cans with that unyieling metallic clang made it unbearable for most. Lots of the people who were unfortunate to end up on this side of town knew not to call the person making the racket out, in case they were unstable since incidents were known to happen.

But one middle aged man, a long time member of living life on the streets was tough enough to hold his own, and too goddamn tired and old for some newcomer or junkie to be depriving him of his sleep. “Hey!” The old man shouted. The racket stopped for only but a second and began again.

Disgruntled, annoyed, hot and tired, the scraggly old man hopped up onto his feet, put in a more foul mood as he knew he wouldn’t get even an hour worth of sleep he was desperate for. The man walked toward the noise. The alley of the two warehouses that seemed to cultivate a small village around was poorly lit, the orange light of the hanging lamp from the doorway barely reaching any surface close to the ground.

“I said _HEY_! Asshole!” The old man took a few more confident strides to the end of the alley. No response. No noise even but a faint sound of laboured breathing. For some reason, the scraggly, tough old man felt a certain electricity run up his spine, like his body already sensed the danger when his angry mind was clouded with the judgment. If anything, the old man should feel grateful for the silence, but it didn’t sit right.

“Help…. Help me….” It was a barely audible whisper, but the old man instinct heightened ears picked it up. Now he only took cautious steps towards the sound. Despite the terrible lighting, the old man recognised the person slumped against the alley wall.

It was a young woman, her dark hair was half shaved and full of volume with highlights of purple, long beaten black jacket and fingerless gloves. “Holy shit… You’re apart of that gang around here! Wait I know you, I heard your name somewhere… Kali!” The man snapped his fingers, like it was a game, invoking no sympathy for her beaten and battered demeanour.

He crouched by her slumped figure, seeing her clearer now. She looked worse for wear, her nose in a dried heavy river of blood from her nose. The old man could have sworn she looked almost an ashy pale tone than her usual rich dark skin. “Help…” Kali stammered again.

The old man kissed his teeth “Ah... . well, what are you gonna do for me? As far as I’m concerned, you haul in all this loot, money, food, clothes and hideout in your big castle somewhere around here with your knights, while us folk down here grovel for scraps.” Kali beamed at the old man. She knew what it was like to live on the street with no hanouts, but what made her angry was that he had no idea the danger he was in if he didn’t help her.

Despite it being a very cutthroat lifestyle too, Jane had broken away a small piece of Kali’s hard surface. And she pitied this man, she felt responsible somewhat for his life now that she made contact, albeit as ignorant and condescending as he was, he would die because of her cries for help. And she… they were running out of time.

Kali snatched the old man’s arm and pulled him to peer intensely into his eyes, her own large brown eyes flaring panic and resilience. “If you’re not going to help, then _Run_!” and shoved him away.

The man grunted in pain as he fell back on his ass. “Ah! You fucking--” The man motioned toward Kali but stopped. Someone seemingly appeared out of thin air, or they were just that stealthy, standing a few feet away from the pair.

The figure didn’t move. It was stock still as it face the man. The old man had to squint his eyes into the darkness to make out any kind of feature but it was too dark. The old man would have mistaken the figure as a mannequin dressed in factory clothes it it hadn’t cocked its head, making the man jump a bit.

The man looked at Kali in confusion. His body had felt the presence carried malicious intent, but his brain was trying to comprehend the situation still. But the wide eyed look that Kali returned made the old made piece together that this was her assailant. The man slowly raised his hands when he could almost feel a low frequency in his chest. “Hey man, she’s all yours, I ain’t seen nothin’!” 

The figure remained silent, but shocking took a step forward, towards the man, and another moving past Kali. The man knew something was wrong when that droning hum increased in frequency. The feeling seemed to ripple through the old man, making his chest ache and his skin burn up. An onset of hysteria and fear overtook the old man, all traces of toughness left. His brain now understood that this feeling wasn’t natural. “Hey look-- I’m-- I’m outta here!--I’m--AH--!” The old scraggly man’s last scream was cut so incompletely. A cloud of black dust began to flow into what little of the wind there was from an almost perfect outline of the old man.

“Nyet.” The figure finally spoke.

Kali watched in horror as the man turned to the small dust like particles floating in the air. Kali forced a moment of clarity from her fear before falling to the same fate. Kali could hear the precise footsteps approach her, she could feel the same low hum in her chest, but Kali was always good at concentrating and put her overused powers to their limits.

Within the 5 seconds before her end, Kali had one person she had to see. She closed her eyes and transported her mind.

It was black all around her as she walked through the shallow water to the bedside. Kali knelt beside it and moved the loose strand of messy bed hair from the girls face. Kali wished she could have savoured how much she had grown, but there was no time. Kali at least found her peace seeing her sister so peaceful.

The girl stirred awake in the void from the phantom touch. Blinking her tired eyes awake, she became confused and distraught when she saw Kali, battered and defeated beside her. Kali didn’t waste time. She grasped her sister’s face gently and kept her intense stare. “ _RUN JANE_ ”

Kali faded away like smoke in the wind as a loud hum pitched. Eleven could see a strange figure in the distance inside the void. It was too dark to see what they looked like, but Eleven could make out that the figure wore a distinctive, industrial jumpsuit with a number. 7.

The figure took a step toward Eleven and the low frequency vibration began and Eleven felt a strange ache in her chest. Her mind quickly told her she was in danger.

\---

Eleven gasped awake, a small scream ringing in the still air. Eleven heaved every breath, her body still trembling and sweat beading on her forehead. She felt something drip on her lap and with shock realised it was her nose bleeding.

Eleven wanted to feel relieved that this was an indication that her powers were back, but she felt like it was a bad compromise as to why they returned.

Without missing a beat, Joyce burst into the room, her beautiful brown eyes bulging, as if she never was asleep despite the early morning hours. Eleven didn’t have to wait for Joyce to ask, and said in a trembling voice, “Something’s coming.”


	2. 1. The Experiment.

“I’m Sorry….” Billy sputtered. The mixture of blood and the chemicals gurgling thick in his throat and chest. His chest became so heavy, it was hard to breathe and kept getting harder and harder. Billy’s sister pleaded and pleaded for him to get up. Even if that meant Max could forgive him for all the hurt he caused, if he could only just get up. But he knew this was the end for him.

Billy starred at Max, her crying face, he always thought that dying would involve more thoughts or at least panic. But Billy felt calm. STaring at Max, he was resolute in his death. He was satisfied dying protecting something, he died standing up to a bully, a monster.

Billy’s fluttering eyes drifted to the bright neon lights on the ceiling. Billy could feel that the sound around him were loud, but they droned out as everything seemed to calm within him, like he was slowly falling asleep.

And Alas, the lights started to go dark, and Billy’s last thought was how pretty the lights shone.

\---

Blackness and silence fell, but of course Billy couldn’t notice it. He couldn’t feel it. Billy was simply just _there_ , in a void, laying in the shallow water. Something strange happened though. Billy’s body twitched, he could begin to feel a low frequency vibration. Hell! He could even hear it too!

As the sound became clearer, Billy hadn’t even registered it, but a fleeting thought flew through his head ‘ _is this hell?_ ’ To his shock, he not only felt the low frequency, but he could also feel someone else’s presence. Billy, though very weakly, slowly opened his eyes. He wasn’t at all surprised to see the same space that Eleven had found him in time and time again. Billy figured this was his afterlife.

What Billy was surprised to see though was a… another person? Truthfully, Billy was half expecting to see his mother or even Eleven, or not one at all for that matter. However, his vision was still blurry and couldn’t even make out the face at first glance.

The stranger though wasn’t noticing Billy’s stare at all and was absorbed in Billy’s chest. Billy curiously followed their stare. Suddenly, a searing pain roared in his chest and travelled in powerful waves throughout his whole body. Billy screamed, tossing his head back to splash in the water.

Another shock of riveting agony. Billy knew this was his Hell now. All the people he mistreated were now just one faceless stranger touching and prodding his fresh wounds in his chest. But the pain seemed to sober him, he wanted to be sure it wasn’t someone who had saved him, not Eleven, not Max, and by God, don’t let it be his mother!

Throughout the brief moment of clarity, he strained himself to look at the stranger. They weren’t even touching him. They were just hovering their hands above his chest. When they felt Billy’s gaze, they snapped their attention to him.

Billy became confused. It was no one he knew. The stranger was a girl, his age, blonde hair to her jawline, brown eyes and sharp cheekbones.

Billy stared at her hard and the longer he stared, the more the darkness began to disappear like smoke around them and that bright neon flew back in his vision. Billy’s eyes focused as the pain began to drift away. Billy could see a thick stream of red trailing from the girl’s nose and ears. She looked exhausted and her eyes bloodshot.

She looked at Billy curiously, quickly looked back to his chest and removed her hands from hovering over it. The girl came close to Billy’s dirt face, she caressed it softly with her palm and looked deeply into his eyes and muttered something indistinguishable to Billy “Eto vse, shto mne nujno.”

Billy thought it all strange. He really wasn’t expecting much with the afterlife, but this was sure as Hell a surprise. The girl placed a hand and hear to Billy’s chest. Billy was expecting another wave of pain, but was shocked to just feel the warmth of another person.

The girl seemed like she was waiting, listening. She pulled away dissatisfied and hovered her hand over Billy’s throat. It was clear she was in a rush. Billy began to feel weak again and his eyes heavy. He half hoped the girl would return to lean on his chest to hang on to that bit of warmth as his body grew cold and numb again.

The girl closed her eyes and concentrated. She jerked her hand and Billy’s chest felt like it was shot. A shocking ache groaned where his heart was and against all odds, Billy gasped for air.

\---

3 Months Later.

The Chicago night was hot. The passing cars on the busy streets made the gusts of wind hot and sticky on her skin. She picked the collar of her navy industrial jumpsuit from sticking to her already uncomfortable skin. She waited behind a group of people to board a bus. As the doors opened she blended seamlessly with the other’s in their dirty attire as they moved their way home from working in a factory all day.

Lucky as she was, she wasn’t stopped to pay the fair and sat down. She glanced over her shoulder, the small dark particles of dust like clinging to the fabric of her clothes. She felt almost solemn as she stared and became lost in thought.

She remembered everything vividly. 4 months ago she was at a german airport. An old man she knew too well, the man who coldly raised her with his blank expression handed her a dossier containing passports, foreign money and pictures of people. As she flicked through the documents, the man leaned in close and commanded unforgivingly in Russian “ _Eliminate them 7, and you can come home_ ”

She wasn’t one to be intimidated, but she knew the importance of her mission and nodded resolutely.

She returned herself to the present, and any trace of a solemn feeling was gone, she was left feeling cold and numb. She blew off the dust and transferred her attention to the city passing by.

Despite spending a short time in this foreign city, she mapped it out almost perfectly in her mind and knew exactly where to get off, and knew all the routes to avoid large crowds, authorities and unwanted attention.

She made a place of rest at a decrepit motel nearly on the other side of the outskirts of the city. She played the key in the lock and entered the lowly lit motel room. Tossing the keys on the bedside table, she sat in the chair beside the bed that was occupied by her own little experiment.

There wasn’t much progress on his consciousness. There would be days his blue eyes would flutter open and he’d mechanically eat and drink among other things, even other days where he could weakly grasp at her hands when she changed his bandages and checked the scars. On some occasions she was hopeful when he’d start muttering words, but it was always the same phrase.

“Mom…. Please don’t go”

She stared at him as his chest rose and fell evenly. After a few moments, being satisfied with his breathing, she checked the progress of his scars. They were a deep pink, but at least they had finally closed. She leaned back in the chair and sighed. She could at least rest for a small while, she was exhausted from hunting and eliminating one of her targets. A few casualties on the way.

She ran her fingers through her blonde locks and rubbed her temples. Her head was killing her. She knew she didn’t overwork herself, but she suspected that her target had used some of her energy to project something. The more she thought about it, the more frustrated she became. If her theory was correct, she lost the element of surprise with her next target.

To take her mind off it, she stared at her experiment and watched his breathing hypnotically. She strained her eyes in the dim light to see something gold reflecting the low light with every breath he took. She always knew something hung around his neck but never gave it much notice since she always busied herself with his wounds.

She sat on the bed beside him and picked the small gold piece around his neck and looked at it curiously. She leaned in to unlatch it from his neck and as he felt it unhook successfully, his breath hitched and snapped open his eyes and stared deeply into hers.

She froze as they stayed like that for a moment and a word coherently and hoarsely came from his mouth.

“You”

She stared at him. Hope rising as her experiment said something rational and logical, than the same pleading words. But just as soon as he said it, his deep blue eyes fluttered closed and he was unconscious again.

She leaned back, pulling the necklace from him and felt an intense head rush. She felt something drip and touched at her nose. A small nosebleed had begun and she started feeling nauseated and rushed to the bathroom, spilling her guts into the dingy motel toilet bowl.


	3. 2. The Awakening & New Attributes.

Eleven sat on the floor of her new home, the tv on a snowy channel in the background. Despite her ability of going into the void without the aid of the white noise before, she wasn’t going to risk not using the support. When she awoke properly that morning, she tried using her abilities more forcefully, trying to move objects or even crushing a can, but to no avail.

Her new family, Will, Jonothan and Joyce told her not to worry and even theorised that looking into the void used less of her energy. Will even made a reference to Eleven using less mana with visiting the void to moving objects, but of course it went over everyone’s head but they got the gist of it.

Successful with reaching the void, she first searched for Kali, but there was nothing. Kali either didn’t want to be found or she really was gone. With new resolution and anger, she began looking for Kali’s assailant.

Long moments had gone by, but she saw that same figure in the jumpsuit. Eleven approached them, but as she came closer, the figure was still shrouded in darkness, and that same number was clear as ever.

The figure was in a cheap bathroom, hugging the toilet bowl and heaving. Eleven spared no sympathy as she watched the figure heave and spill their guts out. Eleven wasn’t sure what she’d do if she got closer, but she kept on and took another step.

Eleven stuck out her hand and ever so cautiously placed it on the figures shoulder. Immediately, Eleven was tossed into a whirlpool of memories, but they were not her own. She saw flashes of a facility much like the one she grew up in, only colder and less emotion behind the soldier’s faces, but the little emotion they did convey was the disgruntled and disgusted looks they tossed Eleven.

Eleven saw six other children, all different ages sitting around a metal table eating from metal trays, all laughing, all speaking Russian. Eleven saw a bald, cold and hardy man smiling at her. Eleven saw a long prod with electricity running rampantly at the end. Eleven felt pain as she was struck again and again with it. Eleven felt pain as she was forced to physically fight the other children, and then… Then the agony struck as she used some sort of power to destroy every single one of them, turning them to dust.

Eleven wanted to escape this hellscape of memories but as they kept getting more painful, they clawed further and further into her mind. To Eleven, all this pain was too familiar and made her scream aloud.

Alas, she was torn from those memories when a strong hand gently grasped her shoulder. Eleven was expecting the worst after the onset of those memories, but as Eleven spun around, she was met with a familiar face. Eleven was both shocked and confused to see Billy, who shared the same expression.

They shared that glance for a moment, and to Eleven it looked as though Billy had a thousand questions, but their time was up and Eleven could feel her powers weakening. She didn’t want to risk losing them so soon after they _just_ returned. She tore the blindfold off and sighed, wiping her nose clean, which brought a small form of comfort back to her after the scene that just played out.

Will, Joyce and Jonothan all looked at her, waiting. Eleven, shock still on her face, peered at them with wide eyes and whispered “Billy”.

They gazed at each other and back to Eleven for her to elaborate. Joyce couldn’t just sit in silence and broke it “Wha-What do you mean Billy? Billy Hargrove? Max’s brother?” Eleven nodded slowly and this time Will spoke up. “That’s impossible, we saw--You saw Billy die!” Eleven thought for a minute, and chose her words carefully. “He seemed…. Stuck”.

They all looked at each other again and Jonothan shook his head in disbelief “So what? The Mind Flayer is back? Holy shit how many times do we have to kill it?” Eleven pondered and spoke up “He wasn’t flayed, he was…. Confused. Lost. Himself.”

Joyce was pacing now, biting her nails. “Was Billy the one that was there before? Last night?” Eleven shook her head and thought really hard. “No…. but i saw….” Joyce looked at Eleven, she seemed well confused to say the least. Joyce knelt down beside Eleven and rubbed her back “What did you see honey?”

Eleven knitted her brows and tried finding the right words. “The same as me…. But different”. The Byers all looked at Eleven. It was clear Eleven couldn’t get any clearer than that.

\---

For 3 months Billy was in a dream like state. Most days he would feel like he was sleeping, or sleep walking, watching mind numbingly as his body made the motions of basic survival, and it wasn’t that he couldn’t control it, but rather he didn’t care to control it.

Other days, Billy relived memories, he only ever remembered the bad ones since the good memories were so far and few between. And on the rare occasions, he found himself in this black void. It was always empty, and Billy was always confused when he would open his eyes and find himself there. At first he would have thought this was the afterlife, like the first time he found himself there, mostly coherent anyways. But then again, it didn’t make sense when a distorted figure was there with him.

Billy would always try and see who it was, the figure appearing semi-familiar but he could never quite place from where. Until he found himself in this void again. He saw the figure sat by the bedside, with himself occupying it. Billy looked at the scene, he pieced together that this is what those pothead hippies mean when they say out of body experience. He walked closer, looking at his unconscious self. He noted he didn’t look terrible, but it was obvious he was making a recovery from _something_.

As Billy got close enough, he traced over his own body, hovering his fingertips over his own skin. He mapped out the scars across his body and a painful flash of what happened to him invaded his mind. That _Thing_ clawing at him like little bratty kids after candy. The final strike through his chest. Billy looked at his _other_ chest and noticed his prized necklace still around his neck.

Despite his lack of understanding of the entire situation, Billy wanted to touch it, to feel it’s comfortable and familiar weight, but his hand moved straight through it. Billy looked at his hand, trying to make sense of it “what the fu--” As he stared through his fingertips, he noticed the figure leaned in and begin to unlatch the small gold piece. “Hey! Asshole!”

As Billy leaned into shove the figure away, he was sucked into a vacuum like space, into something heavy, like he was chained down. It was dark with a small dim light. Billy could feel that his eyes were closed, and as he could feel something play around his neck, he snapped his eyes open.

It was her. That figure, this whole time was her. The one he saw before he was tossed into this non-living existence. Billy remembered her features as they came back to him. Her sharp cheekbones, her short blonde hair, her brown eyes. Her stare this time was different, it wasn’t blank, cold or calculated, it was curious and hopeful.

Billy wasn’t sure what to feel or say, but his mind grew heavy with exhaustion, and before he drifted into that void again, he forced out with great effort “You”.

Thrust back into the void, or a dream, or a memory, Billy was never sure, but they were only ever foggy leading up to his death. He could hear faint footsteps approaching him, Billy could see neon everywhere, it was oddly quiet despite the battle that just took place. Billy was half expecting to feel the presence of more people, paramedics or even Max and her friends, but he only felt one person.

Billy remembered this scene, he remembered the pain, but this time it was only a memory. Billy tried focusing in the memory, seeing the neon lights and recalling how pretty they were, and Billy looked at the girl beside him. Billy remembered her face, she was…. Pretty, like the neon lights, sharp but soothing. He clung to the details of her face, and how at peace he felt. Why did he feel so at peace in this memory?

Before he could answer his own question, the memory faded out and he was tossed back into blackness. He looked around, as if trying to find a way back to that memory, but as he did, he saw the familiar shape of one of Max’s friends. He approached her with even steps and saw she was focused on something else, or she was transfixed. Billy gently grabbed her shoulder and spun around.

It was only a brief moment but they shared a confused glance before she faded like smoke from this void. Billy in that moment felt entirely sober, but it wasn’t long that he stayed. Everything faded to black and Billy was stuck in that heavy feeling again. A sharp light seeping through his eyelids. He could hear something in the distance, it sounded familiarly awful. Billy scrunched up his face to try and concentrate on the noise. It was vomiting.

Billy fluttered his eyes open with great effort, that searing like burning them as he did so. He lifted his arm and found it incredibly heavy, he looked at it for a moment and realised something was different this time waking up.

He had control of his body, he was conscious in the real world! Or what he made of it. Billy used all of his strength to prop himself up to a seated position. He felt awful and groggy like he had the worst hangover.

Billy tossed his gaze around to make out where he was, but had trouble familiarising himself with the place. He understood that he was in a motel room, but where? Billy noted a cheap pamphlet on the bedside table and grasped it. “Chicago?”

Feeling he could actually control his body after so long, he ignored the fatigue and dragged his steps to the window. Pulling back the curtain he relished the feeling of sunlight on his skin, true enough it was harsh on his eyes, but savoured the moment.

A sudden thought struck in his head when he heard more vomiting from the motel bathroom. He wasn’t alone and on that note, that person had taken his necklace away. With this information, his body produced new vigor as anger and adrenaline coursed through him. He unplugged one of the lamps and cautiously made to the bathroom.

Billy held the lamp high above his head and could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He reached the door and saw the person hunched over the toilet bowl. He wasn’t sure who he was expecting to see, but he had the slightest hope it wasn’t the girl. Mostly due to the fact it would be an unfair fight between the two, but if it was, Billy suspected some kind of danger since he was basically kidnapped and brought to a motel in Chicago and she stole his necklace, and what else? His kidneys?

Despite the possible danger he could be in, the person started to look a lot like the girl from behind and Billy decided a warning would suffice enough. “Hey dick! I want my necklace back” The girl slowly turned to see Billy standing a few feet away, ready to attack, and for a moment, Billy thought better of it given the state she was in. Her nose had a line of dried blood underneath it, her face paler than he remembered and she heaved her breaths.

However, all that sympathy was lost as Billy’s fight response kicked in when she raised her hand rapidly. Billy’s reflexes were a second too slow as he swung the lamp around, but as soon as it passed his line of sight, it burst into small floating particles.

Billy lost his balance from the inertia and tumbled forward. The girl spared no time as she bounced up and tackled him, making them stumble from the bathroom. Hitting the ground hard, the girl winced as the wind was knocked out of her. This time Billy made the first move, climbing on top and straddling as the girl struggled, kicking and grunting her way to freedom but to no avail. Billy had her pinned down at the waist and wrists, she even tried snapping her jaw at him which annoyed Billy. “Hey! _HEY! STOP!_ ”

Knowing she was bested and taking a moment to catch her breath, she did so and glared at Billy. Billy didn’t try to seem apologetic as he nodded sarcastically “Yeah, yeah _I’m_ the asshole. Who are you and where the hell is my Goddamn necklace” The girl muttered something strange and Billy motioned for her to speak up.

“ _Blyat!_ ” She hissed and spat in his face. Billy instinctively wiped it away and the girl took the opportunity to free herself. She hooked her hand around his neck, pulling until she had enough leverage to swing her leg free and with both limbs tossed Billy to the side. It would have been an excellent move if not she tossed him in the opposite direction.

Being inches away from the door, Billy took his chance and fumbled out the door. He was free from that psycho! He made quickly to the stairwell and got a quarter of the way down before they began to fade into dust and he lost momentum, sending him to the ground without preparing himself for the fall, he struck his head hard on the pavement and he was out like a light.

The girl leaned in the doorway and dropped her hand after wiping her nose clean. For the most part, she was glad her experiment made a full recovery after so long, and he was feeling nimble enough for a fight, but she was mostly annoyed. She had no idea what to do and cursed herself because she hadn’t thought this far after all this time.

\---

Billy groaned awake. His head was killing him and his body felt bruised. He tried using his hand to feel the lump swelling on his forehead but found them bound to the headboard. He gazed around frantically and glared when he found the girl sitting on the chair beside the bed. Billy tried shaking his hands free and the girl shook her head.

The only thing that made Billy stop his defiant act was the girl delicately placing the necklace on the bedside table. Billy peered at her with angry eyes “What do you want?” The girl sighed and paced the room, Billy followed her suspiciously with his burning eyes.

“ _YA vospol'zovalsya vozmozhnost'yu, chtoby ispol'zovat' svoi sposobnosti dlya chego-to khoroshego. I ya ne osoznaval otvetstvennosti za eto, i vot my zdes'._ ” Billy blinked at her. It was clear he had no idea what she was saying. “Waht fucking language are you speaking?” The girl sighed, defeated “ _russkiy_ ”. At the word, Billy tossed his head back and laughed. It was dry and bitter. “Oh my god! I’m gonna die in some shitty motel room in Chicago by some fucking Russian girl stealing my kidneys!”

The girl rolled her eyes and moved towards the door “ _YA ne sobirayus' vorovat' tvoi pochki tupitsa_ ”. She went to motion for the door, but stopped. Billy _was_ hopeful, he managed to loosen one of the bindings somewhat in his struggle, but the girl came back to the bedside and double checked they would hold.

Satisfied with the wire around his wrist, she made a B-line for the door. “Hey! Where are you going!?” Billy shouted after her, but she was already gone. No matter, Billy wasn’t going to wait for an answer when she came back and fiddled with the bindings again.

\---

The girl knew she had to report her success in elimination one of the targets and was nervous about telling them about her success in ehr little experiment., but she knew if she didn’t, she would be…. Conditioned, as they liked to call it.

She went to the pay phone in the parking lot of the motel and dialed the operator tone, she then said a few coded words and dialed a series of numbers and the phone began to ring. She heard the tone on the other end pick up and she informed them one of the targets were eliminated. She hesitated for a moment before going on. “ _I’ve also…. Found a new attribute to my abilities._ ”

Normally, she never expected a noise to come from the other end, but with the interest of her abilities, the other end of the line was intrigued as that familiar cold voice came through. “ _What has developed, Seven?_ ” She took a moment, she immediately regretted it but she knew she had to for her own sake. “ _I was abke to put someone’s atoms back together._ ” She said it quickly and shut her eyes, like she was ripping off a bandaid.. “ _Elaborate._ ” She breathed in sharply and did as she was commanded. “ _In simple terms I was able to bring someone back from the brink of death._ ”

Silence fell for a long time before that cold voice came back, but it was angry “ _I sent you there to eliminate, Seven. This goes against your orders!_ ” She bit her lip and tried to reason “ _But you don’t understand! I can help people, I don't have to destroy al lthe time! This opens up a new--_ ” The cold voice snapped over her on the telepgone “ _Seven! You have orders. Follow them and you can come home and before anything else, get rid of you Frankenstein monster you created!_ ”

The tone cut off and she knew those were his final words. She sighed and returned the heavy phone to it’s holder. What bothered her the most was that he wasn’t interested in her new ability as soon as it wasn’t used to be a weapon. But nonetheless, she had to follow orders.

She solemnly returned to the motel room, stopping outside the door to gather herself. She forced herself to go numb and cold, to become the weapon they created and entered.

When her eyes hit the bed, she became panicked. He was gone! She searched the small room frantically but nothing. Engulfed by rage, she began throwing things around, she soon found herself in the bathroom looking at herself in the mirror.

She was of course frustrated that her experiment was gone, but as she stred in the mirror, she realised what angered her most was her hopes that she didn’t have to be a weapon anymore, she didn’t have to hurt or cause pain anymore. As she glared at the mirror, it began to crack and finally burst into the tiny atoms it began as.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the phrases that look like gibberish are spoken in russian in this chapter, here's what they say as followed:  
> "I took the opportunity to use my abilities for something good. And I didn't realise the responsibility it would follow and now here we are"  
> "I'm not gonna steal your kidneys dumbass"


	4. 3. 'You Wouldn't Stop Complaining'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: mention of domestic abuse

Billy rushed his steps, jumping on the charter bus heading back into Indiana when the driver took a leak. This wasn’t his first rodeo jumping buses being quite familiar with all the times he tried running away from home, from that monster of a father. The whole time as he sat there, watching as other passengers boarded, he was dreading to see the Russian girl follow after him, expecting to see her face as the others began to blend, one after the other as they boarded.

Once the driver came back on board, sitting in the seat and closed the doors, only then did Billy sighed with relief and sank back into his uncomfortable seat. Billy watched as the city began to pass by, he tried his hardest not to fall asleep, after all, he was asleep for 3 months and wanted to savour every moment he was awake, but the calmness and relief that came with being free and heading back home relaxed him too much and he drifted off.

Billy didn’t really have an idea what he was going to tell his father after disappearing for so long, but he’d argued with himself that he’d figure it out when he got there. It wasn’t like his father was going to beat him after 3 months, Billy hoped that maybe, just maybe his father would actually be happy so see him. But that was a high hope.

For the first time in a long time, Billy actually dreamt while he slept on the creaky, rumbling bus. It wasn’t a memory, or that void he always found himself in when he was unconscious, it was a genuine weird series of events that never made sense and when he was awoken by the harsh braking of the bus and the driver shouting that they were at Hawkins station, Billy felt surprisingly well rested. He opened his eyes, stretching out his stiff body and disembarked. He took a look around the desolate bus station as the sun began to sink and ran a hand through his long hair.

Billy hadn’t took much notice to his lack of nicotine, but it was beginning to remind him when he last had a cigarette and glanced around. He saw a few people hanging around, and Billy spotted an easy target he could flirt his way to a cigarette and maybe even a ride home.

Successful with both, the young woman had no problem sparing both a cigarette and a ride. She motioned for him to follow her to her small beat up 78 Toyota Celica, and Billy felt victorious, _easy and homefree_ , he thought with a small bounce in his step. Despite the young woman’s generosity, Billy really didn’t want to have to entertain her all the way home, but it was the least he could do, and what was the harm in lying to a stranger?

“So what’s your story?” Billy looked at the young woman, holding a half assed flirty gaze. It wasn’t that she was unattractive, Billy just knew he had high standards, but he had to keep the act up until he was actually home. “What’s my story?” Billy chuckled huskily, “Yeah, young man like you coming off a greyhound bus with no ride, cigarettes and money I’m assuming as well? You’re either in trouble, a psychopath or a runaway.”

Billy wasn’t ever amused when people made assumptions of his personal life, but again, he put on a polite and flirty mask, slyly gritting his teeth and lied. “Army actually. I was discharged on bad…. _behaviour_ ” Billy glanced at the woman, emphasizing his last words whilst licking his lips.

The woman took the bait, shifting in her seat trying to hide a smile. “I bet your parents won’t be too happy to hear that.” She pricked another nerve. Billy took a drag from the cigarette, it helped him to bite his tongue from a snappy and rude response, but he went with it. “Well, they never wanted me to go in the first place.”

There wasn’t much conversation after that, and luckily for BIlly the drive wasn’t long either. They reached his driveway just as dusk arrived. He thanked her, playing his flirty self which gained him another cigarette, winked and approached his home.

He stuck the cigarette behind his ear and took only a few steps toward his house when the world suddenly went black. Billy glanced around and felt a slight panic arise “No, not now!”

He was so close to home to be tossed back into the void again, his eyes landing on the russian girl as he was tossing them around the black space. She stood still and just…. Watched him. Billy knew no good was coming and broke into a sprint in the direction where he hoped the house was, but with every heavy foot that landed in the shallow water, he couldn’t make any distance between them.

A pair of small hands grasped him and Billy gasped. He found himself in the same spot of the driveway and Max was holding his shoulders firmly. “Billy!”. Billy felt tears well up when he saw her, but he did his best not to let them show. Max didn’t care, she knew Billy was at least glad to see her and she hugged him tightly. It was an awkward hug, mostly because Billy didn’t quite know how to respond.

“We thought you were dead” Billy gazed passed Max to see her boyfriend, Liam was it? Or Lucas? In this moment he cursed himself and wished he paid more attention to Max’s life and wished he was a better big brother.

But on thing registered what Liam, or Lucas, said. They thought he was _dead_. Billy looked at the boy quizzically. “Dead?” those memories of that monster were flashing before his eyes and it started to make sense. Max finally pulled away, her eyes red and wet from crying into his chest. She shared his puzzlement “You…. don’t remember?”

\---

She sat on the motel bed, the room messy from her outburst. Her head was in her palms, blonde hair falling around her face as she concentrated. She breathed in sharply and opened her eyes. She found him. He was back in that town. Back at a house on…. Cherry Brook Drive.

She knew it was a risk going back, but she had orders. She stared at the reflection in the broken tv for a moment. She wasn’t left with much emotion other than anger and frustration, but not that she had an idea where to go she made on her way.

Before closing the door, she tossed the motel keys on the messy bed and glanced at the bedside table where she placed the necklace. Despite everything, she couldn’t understand the novelty of the item. But no matter. She travelled down to the street, broke into and jot wired a beaten up 1980 PLymouth and sped off to her destination.

\---

Billy sat on the couch, Max and now he knew his name was Lucas, across from him. Billy’s face was screwed up in concentration “So…. I was mind controlled, and killed by this _thing_?” The pair nodded as Billy tried getting the story straight. “On the 4th of July?” They nodded again. “And I’ve been missing for 3 months.” Max glanced at Lucas and to Billy. “You don’t believe us do you, Billy?”

Billy looked at them blankly. “No, Maxine, because I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I was dead, but now I’m here, and not to mention the Russian.” Max and Lucas shared another quick glance. “How did you know about the Russians?” Billy laughed at them and leaned back into the couch. “Oh my God Max!--” Max stood up defiantly “Look I don’t like this as much as you do but it’s the truth!”

Billy looked at her blankly, leaned forward and clasped his hands. “I mean, crazy shit has happened to me the past couple of days so…. Whatever, I’m on board.” Max peered at Billy. He seemed to casual about it all, like he was taking it all as a joke. “What do you mean?”

Billy tried looking for the right words, but became lost. “Ah…. I don’t know, the Russian could like, destroy shit with her mind or something, like she was from a bullshit sci-fi movie.” Max glanced back at Lucas with wide eyes. “Eleven” and made a B-line for the phone. Billy watched her in puzzlement, but Lucas was the one who asked Billy’s question, “Who are you calling?” Max shushed him as she finished dialing and held the phone to her ear.

After a small moment Max began to speak “Hi! Ms Byers? It’s Max. Good, I was wondering if El was home. Ok. Thank you.” Another moment of waiting. “Hi! El? Hello?” Max looked at the phone and then to Lucas and Billy. “It cut out.”

Billy felt a sudden dread drop in his stomach, like a stone in a pond. They all looked around when the appliances began to shake and corrode, and the lights began flickering when a low frequency vibration began to ring. “It’s her….” Billy’s voice was faint and Max looked at Billy panicked. Billy of course wanted to stay, but he knew he couldn’t. The Russian was after him and it made no sense for Max or Lucas to get involved or hurt.

Billy marched to the door and swung it open. “Billy! No!” Max cried after him, she followed after Billy and tugged his arm. Billy tried ignoring her, even trying to shove her off a little for her own good as he stood defiantly on the porch, glaring at the girl down as she stood on the end of the driveway.

Max pulled and pulled as the appliances shook violently inside. Billy couldn’t resist anymore. He gave her an awkward hug before a firm shove and pushed her into Lucas’ arms, “Max, it’ll be ok. I need to start looking out for you.” He moved his eyes onto look and pointed at him threateningly “Take care of her.”

Billy walked with stern purpose to the Russian girl and raised his hands and shrugged with attitude “You got me. Leave them alone.” Billy stood stock still and lowered his, clenching his fists in any case something happened to Max or his home, and glared at the girl. She wiped her nose nonchalantly and tore her own defiant stare from him and opened the passenger door for him to get in.

Billy did so. He wasn’t much one for taking orders, but there was little he could do. The girl made it clear she only wanted him and complied to his wishes. But despite her anger, she felt something ache in her chest when she saw her experiment interact with that girl and was reminded of her own _siblings_.

\---

They drove in silence for a while, she wasn’t entirely sure where she was headed, but that wasn’t going through her head. She was racking her head, trying harder and harder to find the resolve to end her experiment, but everytime she thought about it, that scene of him and the girl invaded her mind.

Billy really couldn’t handle the silence and it up his cigarette that was stuck in his ear. He could hear the girl audible sigh, but right now he couldn’t give a shit. He blew the acrid smoke without rolling down a window to see how much she would tolerate. So far, the cigarette was allowed, the smoke without windows was just pure pettiness. Billy took another puff and pushed his luck. He pressed the button for the radio aggressively and stared at her. She immediately turned it off, mirroring his aggression, plucked the cigarette from his lips and tossed it out the window.

Billy just stared at her with an angry look, thinking the audacity she had, despite his own petty behaviour. The girl just ignored him and stared straight ahead. Not long after, actually maybe it was a bit of a coincidence, but the old car began to make an unpleasant noise and slowed, then finally cut out. The girl kissed her teeth and pulled over. Billy looked at their surroundings, taking it in that they were in the middle of nowhere and it was well after dark.

Billy finally set his gaze ahead and kissed his teeth, a small bitter smile on his lips even. “Now, that was because you threw away my only cigarette.” The girl rolled her eyes and exit the car. Billy was unsure what their next move was but by the way she grudgingly carried herself, he had a pretty good idea that they were going to start walking.

At first, Billy wasn’t too keen on the idea, but a thought struck his mind, and realised it was an opportunity for escape. She opened his door and cocked her head for him to follow, and they began their trek.

It wasn’t long until Billy realised how much he was in need of food, let alone a full cigarette and began to groan and complain. “Can we take a break?” The girl kept her stare ahead and walked at her usual pace. Billy knew she was blatantly ignoring him, whether she didn’t understand english or not. He slowed his pace and complained again “I’m hungry and tired. I haven’t eaten in days and I want to sleep.” Still nothing.

Billy was now becoming extremely agitated and caught up to her, grabbing her shoulder to get her attention now, which was a mistake. She snatched his arm and twisted it painfully. Billy cried out and cursed her “Ah! You bitch!” She dropped his hand and pointed aggressively forward onto the road. Billy just gritted his teeth and followed a few paces behind.

After half an hour of walking in silence, they finally came across a Seven Eleven. “Hey! _HEY!_ Russki!” Billy called after her, she seemed to be ignoring him again. This time Billy didn’t make the same mistake and ran in front of her for the attention. “I need food, are you listening? _FOOD!_ ” She moved passed him and marched on.

Billy just stood there and looked at the gas station longingly. Suddenly, he heard a window smash and he peered around the darkness where she vanished. After a small moment, he saw the girl emerge with keys in her hand. She marched passed him, straight to the gas station. Billy watched in astonishment as he watched through the windows, she walked in like she owned the place, grabbing an assortment of chips, chocolate and candy and walked back out.

Billy wasn’t sure what to make of it. She just had no care in the world at all, but she wasn’t invincible or invisible even when the clerk was after her. Billy was genuinely entertained from the scene and watched and waited with what was going to happen next. He hadn’t realised how long he stared in bewilderment when she reached him and shoved the food into his arms.

The clerk was still a bit behind, shouting and threatening of calling the police. But as he came closer, she spun around and raised her hand. A high pitch sound cut into the air and Billy felt an intense headache and lightheaded, and when he closed his eyes from the sudden pair for just a second and opened them again, the clerk was drifting into the air like dust.

Billy was frozen in place from the scene, and didn’t even notice the girl go back inside to raid the register and behind the counter. Billy just watched in shock at the small particles drift into the night air like snow, his head was pounding and his mind was overcome with exhaustion. He only felt his feet move when the girl was dragging Billy to the car she smashed the window.

Billy had to blink himself back from shock, his ears were ringing and stared at the Russian girl. He really had no idea what to say, if he should even say anything at all. The girl was at least satisfied that he stopped complaining, considering she began to get an intense heading from using her powers, which hadn’t happened since she was much younger.

She figured she just needed a bit of food herself and ripped open a bag of chips, pouring a few pieces into her mouth. Billy was still trying to process, but the girl didn’t take notice, she was trying to get rid of his heavy and painful feeling in her head and shoved the chips in his face. Billy grasped them cautiously and almost mechanically, he suddenly became so exhausted.

Once Billy was actually able to have original thoughts again, eating a few chips prior, he began to question just what this girl wanted from him. If she could have easily turned him into dust so many times before, why didn’t she? Why didn’t she just destroy the entire house, with everyone in it? And why risk raiding a gas station?

Billy stared at the chips. It was now clear that she wasn’t blatantly ignoring him before, and that entire raid happened after he complained. The girl felt a little bad that she must have scared him into silence and tossed a packet of Marlboro Reds at him. Billy caught the nimble packet and stared at her.

“I take it you understand english? The food, the car, Hell even the cigarettes. You knew, and you did it for me?” Billy didn’t want his assumptions to be right, but if she showed him that little mercy with Max, then it would be nothing but correct, but Billy didn’t want to be responsible for the death of an unsuspecting gas station clerk.

The girl took a handful of chips and chewed. “ _Vy ne perestanete zhalovat'sya_ ”. Back to square one Billy thought. Billy had high hopes that she would speak some kind of English and maybe she could reason with her, cut a deal per se, especially with the knowledge that she showed him mercy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Russian phrase is  
> "You wouldn't stop complaining"


	5. 4. Bedfellows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for my insane amount of typos or if words don't really fit where they belong, and also for updating so late, i'm trying to update every two days so that way I can pump the story out and make sure every thing is all linear. hope you enjoy and thank you so much for reading!!

Joyce was surprised she got a call from Max early in the week, but it was the urgency in Max’s voice that made her a bit worried. They exchanged pleasantries quickly and called Eleven over for the phone. Eleven was excited, but like Joyce a bit surprised. It would have been a relief from the stress of using her powers to find that figure in the jumpsuit, or even Max’s brother, but when Max spoke, there was a certain…. Tone that meant trouble.

The line cut out before anything could be said passed exchanged “Hello’s” and Eleven suspected the worst. Joyce emerged from the kitchen, cleaning up with the boys after dinner and looked quizzically at Eleven. “Oh that was short.” Eleven hung the phone up and stared at Joyce wide eyed. That was all the indication Joyce needed to know trouble was a foot back in Hawkins.

\---

They arrived at another cheap motel outside Hawkins between another small town. Billy waited, taking long drags from his cigarette, relaxing his nerves from the intense scene before. The Russian was in a phone booth, dialing and saying strange words. Billy didn’t care to listen in, he was more occupied with trying to make sense of this whole situation.

She waited for the tone and the other line picked up. “ _The next target is close_ ”. Silence. She hoped it would stay like that, she hoped _He_ wouldn’t follow up with questions about her experiment, but it was all for naught as that cold voice rang through the line with no emotion. “ _and your experiment?_ ”. She sighed, trying her best masking it. She glanced over her shoulder to catch him beaming back at her. She thought for a second before turning away, leaving Billy with a confused expression. “ _He’s gone_ ”.

It wasn’t as convincing as she thought it would be, but she would have to start thinking about something quick. The silence now over the line became unbearable until the other end grunted and hung up. She had an idea that she didn’t completely sell her answer and she felt a slight panic, like a box was closing in on her.

Billy watched her suspiciously since her small throw of a gaze. He didn’t speak any Russian but he was sure as hell that part was about him. He stomped out his cigarette when she exit the booth and followed after her as they marched to the motel office. All the while, Billy eyed her carefully, burning a hole in the back of her head.

When they reached the office, she practically threw the money on the desk and stuck up a hand with two fingers. The old hag of a woman raised an eyebrow from her cheap novel she was reading and in a croaky voice “Two what?” The girl just stared at the woman, and the woman in turn counted the money. Billy could feel the nicotine wear off and his nerves start bunching again, he felt giddy and antsy, but that wasn’t just because of not having a cigarette. Billy theorised trying to get the lady to call or help, but he was quickly reminded of the last time someone caused a problem for the Russian.

“Darling with this money you can get the honeymoon suite” The old woman croaked, tapping ash off her cigarette and proceeded to continue reading her novel, and without looking tossed a set of keys with a tacky pink heart attached to it. The Russian girl was about to snatch them and as soon as she grasped them, Billy felt his hand reach out and engulf her hand in his to stop the transaction. It was instinctive, but Billy had one thought going through his head, _There was no way in hell I’m going to share a bed with this psycho path and no fucking way I’m sleeping on the floor_.

The Russian and the old woman both snapped their eyes on Billy. The old woman looked simply annoyed, but Billy could feel the rage radiate from the girl. Billy had to put his charming facade on and slid the keys back to the old woman with the girls hand in town. The old woman eyed Billy whilst taking a long drag of her cigarette, expecting foul play, but Billy was quick on his feet and concocted lie. “Actually, me and my, uh, ahem, girlfriend here want to save ourselves for marriage”.

The old woman didn’t buy it for a second. From the girl maybe, she would have bought it, given her strange…. Attire. But this bootleg Vince Neil looked far from the type and the girls next action made the old motel clerk think that something was afoot as she snatched her hand from underneath Billy’s and glared at him. Billy made a mental note that the Russian obviously didn’t like to be touched.

Glancing from the girl, back to Billy, she eyed him knowingly. “Uh huh. Sweetie I’ve been alive long enough to know what bullshit smells like. And it seems like you either had a bad argument or you’re keeping her here against her will, and if you don’t come clean, I’m required to call the police.”

Billy was taken aback. This was his chance! The police could come and arrest the commie and he could go home! Hell he’d even take this lady on a date! But all that hope was crushed when the girl took a threatening step forward when the old woman grabbed for the phone. Billy really didn’t want to see someone else lose their life for him.

Billy scanned the desk for the old woman’s name and found a beaten up name placard, but he didn’t rush to tell her yet another lie otherwise sheèd smell more _bullshit_ from a mile away. Instead Billy his best to play it cool and keep calm, even with a strange humming sound rising and the lights flickering, which he knew undoubtedly was the Russian.

Billy started with a shy laugh and nonchalantly leaned on the counter. “Doris, may I call you Doris. I feel awfully silly, I didn’t want to admit it. You see I didn’t want to hang my dirty laundry up and my girlfriend here is too proud to admit it either.” The woman stopped her dialing, took a small glance around at the lights which gave enough time for Billy to explain what he had to say. Billy knew he had her, now he just had to reel her in. “We had a fight after our car broke down and when she gets like this,” Billy leaned in closer, pretending to keep the conversation between Doris and him, and in a very husky and charming voice, licking his lips, he continued with a wider shy smile “She’s a hurricane.”

The old lady, Doris, slid a glance to the girl and back to Billy. “And why couldn’t she tell me?” Billy raised his eyebrows and had to find a good enough reason not to blow the Russian’s cover. “She’s Amish.”

When they reached their room, Billy was relieved to see two beds. He audibly sighed and fell on the bed, not caring of all the grime that might be sticking to his back as he did so. He stared at the ceiling and felt incredibly tired. So much happened in the day that he hadn’t really taken a second to just breathe.

Billy kicked off his shoes and removed his shirt. In the dim light he caught sight of the scars scattered around his body and touched the raised flesh. They didn’t hurt, and were healed for the most part. He pieced together that they were well taken care of.

Billy glanced at the girl, she was peering out the window like she was expecting something and in her mind, how could she not? She was dissatisfied with the way _He_ hung up the phone and she knew what these people were like, they would stop at nothing to keep her under control. Billy could tell something was pressing her mind, and despite everything, despite the kidnapping, the threat of harming Maxine and Lucas, the fight, the gas station clerk, he felt the slightest empathy for her. “Thank you”.

Billy’s faint voice made her tear away from the window, if only for a moment. She glanced blankly at Billy and wondered what he was on about. Billy looked and touched at his scars. “Thank you for…. Fixing me up I guess.” Billy tried to seem casual about it, but some sincerity did peek through his cool demeanour. He wasn’t entirely sure if she did understand English, and her simple shrug and grunt didn’t make it any clearer.

But no matter, Billy had a sense that she appreciated the gesture, and he wasn’t going to lose sleep over it. Especially when his body was already so tired. He laid back down and played with the small gold piece around his neck and pondered. Mostly about his escape but also about the conversation that Max and Lucas had with him, how they explained that he was _dead_. His eyes soon grew heavy and motioned to turn off the lamp that kept the room lit. “On or off?” He stared at the girl and at first she didn’t turn around until a long moment went by. When she did look at him, she just beamed blankly.

Billy waited for any kind of response, but none came. “Alright, on then.” He made himself comfortable in the bed facing away from the light and waited. He waited to see if the girl would make a motion for bed, or even to attack him but it never came. After long moments of waiting, he heard movement. Billy clenched his fists, preparing himself but was surprised when the lamp was switched off. More movement, but it wasn’t the sound of her getting into bed.

Billy glanced over his shoulder to see the girl still at watch by the window. Billy figured he wouldn’t get any sleep if he was going to compete with her, and as far as he knew, she was capable of plenty of things, so staying awake for 24 hours or more wouldn’t surprise him. It wasn’t long until sleep found him though. A couple of minutes and his long eyelashes fluttered and everything went black and his body heaved a heavy sigh before his breathing evened out and he drifted.

Billy dream again. It was soothing. He remembered blonde hair, like the girl, or his mother? He remembered neon and water. He felt a gentle hand on his face. The touch felt so real that Billy snapped his eyes open. It didn’t even feel like he fell asleep, just closed his eyes for a minute, but the early morning sun burning his tired eyes confirmed otherwise.

Billy had to blink a few times to adjust them and tried rubbing the feeling away. Only…. He was tied again. This time he found both hands as well as his feet were bound by the appliances from around the room to the bed, save for the coffee machine which the Russian stood by waiting for him to awake.

Billy tossed his gaze to his limbs and back to the girl. “How did you….” Even if she did speak english, he didn’t think he wanted an answer. She waltzed over to him with a mug of what Billy assumed was coffee and placed it on the night table beside him. She untied one hand and let him figure out the rest. Billy untied them with haste and rubbing at the points of contact.

Billy watched her carefully as she returned to the spot by the window he last saw her in. Content that she wasn’t watching him, Billy took a drink from the _coffee_ and grimaced. He _would_ have appreciated it if it didn’t taste like poison with a dash of milk, but he wasn’t going to complain out loud, especially not after what happened last time. He simply took it like a champ and gulped his way down to the bottom.

She could hear Billy finish the poorly made coffee she created and tossed him a bag of beef jerky before he started to complain about food again. Billy caught the packet and grunted “You know, I need real food? I can’t live off this shit”, of course there was something he had to say. “ _Eti amerikantsy takiye priveredlivyye_ ” She muttered to herself.

Billy obviously didn’t catch what she said, but her intentions were clear when she motioned for the door. Billy at first didn’t catch what she was pitchining until she opened the door and gestured for him to follow. Billy was surprised to say the least and returned his basic grey t-shirt to his torso and followed after her.

On one hand, Billy was excited for real food, on the another it felt good to actually be out in the real world without feeling more or less like he was kidnapped. But of course the idea of escape wasn’t far behind. It wasn’t far they went, there was a very scarce diner next to the motel. But Billy wasn’t going to start complaining again if that meant real coffee and a proper meal to help him think straight so he could start planning the perfect escape that didn’t involve anyone turning to dust.

They were greeted by a middle aged waitress who was too perky for the job, or rather genuinely excited to see customers after long days of wiping the tables down over and over again. When they were directed to a booth, the waitress, Michelle she said her name was, placed two menu’s down and asked for drinks, Billy ordered a white coffee and the waitress motioned over to the girl “And for you darling?”

The girl shook her head, glaning somewhere else, not giving the waitress the time of day. Billy pursed his lips and charmingly smiled at Michelle, “Give us a minute Michelle”. The waitress pranced off and readied the mugs and coffee jug.

Billy took the moment and leaned in “Look, I know you understand some kind of English, and you gotta learn some stuff so you don’t come off as a commie straight off the bat. You understand?” It was intended to be a threat, or even a warning if anything, especially with Billy’s tone, but she just kept her gaze out the window. Billy kissed his teeth and leaned back in the booth. Perfect timing as the waitress returned with two mugs and placed the coffee jug between the two “Just in case she changes her mind sweetheart”. The waitress winked at Billy and motioned her hand to whisper at him “Trouble in paradise?”

It was intended for the both of them as a small joke and Billy had to force a smile out of politeness, or just sheer mockery, he was baffled that everyone kept making the same assumptions. The girl made a reaction, some kind of smile but it seemed strained and awkward. The waitress obviously grew uncomfortable with it and tried to avert the subject by flipping open her order book. “Ok, what can I get you two?” Billy took a deep breath, he knew he didn’t have to pay, and in a small bout of pity, went all out with his order “I’ll have bacon, eggs, scrambled, taters and…. French toast and flapjacks for her. Thank you Michelle.”

Michelle had to do a double glance to the girl, but there was no reaction to Billy’s order, the waitress just took the menus and tried to make a light conversation, to which Billy dreaded, but again what choice did he have? “So you two on a getaway together? Or just passing through?” Billy sighed, licking his teeth and tried keeping it as vague as possible. “A bit of both” Michelle cooed and raised her eyebrows, insinuating a young wild love “And where are you two from?” Billy really was straining his patience or rather nerves. He wanted to send some kind of signal that he needed help but the risk was too great, so instead bounced his leg up and down.

“Hawkins actually” hoping that maybe the waitress could remember all that crazy shit from a couple of months ago, but as Billy waited, he could see The Russian eye Billy carefully. He really had no choice now but to keep the conversation going to get the waitress’ mind off the subject. “And before that cali, bit of a road trip of sorts.” Which wasn’t exactly a lie, but he wished the conversation ended there least he become too tempted to cry for help.

Billy really wished that the waitress would just get on her job from there, but she was relentless “Oh! I figured you were from Cali, sunkissed skin.” She gave Billy a small wink and turned to the girl, she eyed her condescendingly up and down but returned that bubbly smile “And what about you little lady? Where are you from?” It was obvious that Billy and the girl really didn’t look like they came from the same place, Billy was tanned, had a certain carefree and wild air about him, dressed like every girl’s wet dream, and then there was this little, pale, blonde and uptight girl who carried a chip on her shoulder.

The Russian finally looked at her, and Billy could see a certain rage in her eyes, Billy guessed that she could hear the slight undertone of criticism from the waitress, but he quickly interjected. “Amish, she’s Amish. That’s why she doesn’t talk much, it’s like a sin on the weekend or something.”

The waitress looked at Billy confused “Sweetie it’s a Monday.” Billy paused for a moment, he smiled slyly and winked at the waitress “Ah, sorry, I showed her how to party last night so we’re still stuck on weekend time” The waitress nodded with a cheeky smile “Well aren’t you… star crossed lovers” It was obvious that the pair seemed to confuse the waitress, but she seemed to reel her criticism from the girl and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Billy expected the girl to break the hand off her shoulder, but in utter surprise, she just looked blankly at the older woman. “This boy is gonna show you a whole lot of fun darling! Oh i better get your stuff ready, don’t mind me just blabbering on…”

The waitress droned on and Billy really wished she’d leave now. It wasn’t because she was in probable danger, it was just the fact she talked so much. Luckily, the chime to the door rang and an old well rounded man entered. “Hey Michelle!” The man called out in a deep voice. Michelle excitedly excused herself and hurried over to, what seemed to be her regular.

Billy exhaled and rolled his eyes, and the Russian dryly chuckled. Billy stared at her confused, he could have sworn he saw a smile play on the girls lips. “Did you just smile?” Billy felt a relief that this girl wasn’t just a robot, but he second guessed that he was making any progress when she just rolled her eyes as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

When the food arrived, Billy was famished and he dug in but he noticed the girl was unimpressed to say the least. “They’re flapjacks. Do you not have pancakes where you come from?” The girl pushed them away and Billy had no problem putting them on his plate. After nearly demolishing them, he washed it down with his coffee and felt a little bad when his plate was almost empty and she hadn’t touched any food since potato chips from last night.

Billy defeatedly tossed a piece of french toast on her plate “You have to eat something.” The girl looked at the plate and toyed with it on her fork. “It’s good, trust me.” It was funny saying the words, they felt misplaced, but Billy tried to keep a strong face. He waited until she took her bite, she felt weird to have him stare as she ate and knitted her brows when she continued.

Billy finished his breakfast with ease and leaned back, relaxing with a full stomach. He watched as she left her frnech toast half eaten and averted her attention to the small jukebox on the wall inside the booth. She pressed the buttons playfully, expecting something to happen. Billy thought it a bit strange, cute even, like a cat playing with a fish as he watched.

“It’s a jukebox. It plays music.” The girl looked at him quizzically. Billy held out his hand and half smirked “Give me a coin and I’ll show you”. The girl puzzled cocked her head, Billy pointed the the slot and she obediently handed him an assortment of coins. Billy slotted it into the machine and pressed play. It took a moment, but the intro of _Crimson and Clover_ began to play.

Billy thought it ironically funny with the lyrics but sang along anyway. The girl stared at him, it was actually hard not to smile at the boy’s off key singing and as it got louder, she even had to stifle a laugh. Billy looked at her amazed “Wow, you can actually smile!” and continued singing.

There was no point in hiding her amusement now and actually cackled freely. She felt good, she felt like she had no restrictions, or no missions, they both did, and they both felt like nothing was wrong. Sharing glances Billy continued his antics and the Russian trying to keep a serious face, and it went like this over and over until the song finished.

They calmed themselves and Billy watched her as she shyly tried to hide that smile on her face behind her mug of coffee, and for a moment, Billy caught himself thinking _If this was a different situation, I could actually hang out with her_. Billy tried to keep that feeling going, it wasn’t like he wanted to get attached, but he didn’t know how long he’d actually be stuck with her.

“Now that I know you’re actually human, and understand some form of English, what’s your name?” She just stared at him and pointed to herself as if he could be talking to someone else in the diner with a population of a waitress, cook and a regular. “Yeah your name. I’m Billy” He came off a bit condescending, point to himself and saying his name a couple of times, but regardless, all she ever known was one thing people called her by, “ _Sem'_ ”.

“Sam?” Billy tried confirming. She shook her head and repeated herself “ _Sem'_ ”. “That’s what I said _Sam_ ”. She shook her head again and pointed to the number on her jumpsuit. Billy narrowed his eyes to see it better and his face dropped. “I’m not calling you seven, a number is something you give to a prisoner.” She simply shrugged and leaned back in her chair. “I still think Sam’s pretty good, well at least it’ll do for now.” She didn't take much notice in Billy’s decision but motioned for an exit.

Billy was a bit surprised that she, _Sam_ to him now, didn’t bother paying as she moved to the exit. Billy was going to follow but the waitress stopped him. “Uh Uh. No dine and dashing here”. Billy saw past the waitress that _Sam_ noticed Billy was stuck and he felt that low hum and the lights began to flicker. Again, Billy had to think on his feet to dodge another dust cloud his way.

Billy put a nice pair of blue puppy dog eyes on and fluttered ihs long eyelashes, “Look, Michelle, I lied before. We’re actually runaways. You see, our parents were terrible to us and we _had_ to leave. We don’t have any money, or other clothes even.” Billy was successful and he even mentally congratulated himself when he could tell he pulled a heartstring.

Michelle pursed her lips, “Alright, just an FYI there’s a salvations army in the town over. But you kids be careful out there Gary here told me that the gas station around here was raided and the clerk up and disappeared, and you might want to get her a new style. It looks like she came from a mine. There’s a lot of crazies out there.” Billy nodded and thanked her. If only she knew.

But that also left Billy with a thought. If he could reason with _Sam_ to change her clothes, he could make an escape while she was in the dressing room. Of course the moment they shared in the diner was enjoyable, but the reminder of her volatile behaviour quickly refreshed his memory of an escape and that it wasn’t safe with her.

Composing himself, he called after her once outside. “Hey Sam!”. Surprised that she actually stopped instead of ignoring him, Billy put his plan into motion. “If you want to blend, you might have to reinvent your look.” She looked at herself and shrugged. Billy licked his lips and cringed “You stick out like a sore thumb”.

\---

At first she doubted his suggestion, but after thinking about it, it could prove useful so they found themselves at Salvation’s Army in the town over, just like what that waitress said. _Sam_ looked around slowly, eyeing every colorful piece oddly as she went about the room. Billy, however, was grabbing whatever he could to keep her busy in the change room, long enough for him to get away from here, and really grabbing anything because he had no idea how girls shopped for clothing.

Meanwhile _Sam_ had found herself in a magazine section and picked up one of the covers that had Pat Benatar on the cover. It drew _Sam_ in with her carefree and wild attitude, her rough style, jean jacket, flannel, ripped jeans and wild, short dark hair. She was beautiful. _Sam_ traced the page like it was a real face and flicked through the pages to see outfits that inspired her.

She looked around excitedly and grabbed a few of her own pieces. Billy seeing her moved so fast around the shop wondered what she was playing at “Hey! What are you doing I already got stuff for you!” but she wasn’t listening. Once satisfied, she pulled Billy unexpectedly from the racks, tore the pieces he had and discarded them in an empty basket. But the strange behaviour to Billy didn’t end there.

Billy was shocked to have _Sam_ pull him into the changeroom with her as she began undressing. “Woah, what the hell!?” Billy was puzzled to say the least that she didn’t have a care in the world and simply ignored his outburst. Billy thought _wherever she comes from it’s clear they don’t have boundaries_.

At first, Billy thought he should be somewhat of a gentleman and look away, and maybe even try to find another means of escape, but it was hard since that was the last thing on his mind. And being the lady killer Billy was, he took a small glance. Billy at first appreciated her healthy figure, even rocking a bit of muscle to her frame, but the longer he stared, the sight of scars caught his eye. They overlapped predominantly on her back and as he followed them up on her spine, strangely, the number on the base of her neck was a tattooed 7.

Billy became mesmerised and reached out, he had to be sure it was real and he was realising that the number she called herself had a greater significance than a nickname. As soon as his fingertips made contact, she snatched his hands and pushed him, pressing him against the wall with lightning speed. To Billy, it felt like the dressing room became much too small and much too hot as her bare body pressed up against his.

Billy couldn’t help but nervously laugh and licked his teeth. “Take it easy” was all he could muster before she let him go. But afterwards, something shifted in himself, something light and warm was swirling in his stomach, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Billy just simply passed it off as his body reacting to the opposite sex after so long, so Billy just tried to avert his gaze as much as possible, being tempted to sneak a few more glances every so often. But every time he stole a look, his stare become more transfixed and began mapping her body out and the groves in her flesh from the scars.

Billy hadn’t even realised he lost himself when she was dressed again and tore the curtain open. He half cursed himself that he didn’t think about escape that entire time. But a large part of him didn’t really mind. Now that Billy was out in the public world again, he eyed longingly at all the different exits in the store but then he weighed the consequences of someone’s life.

Billy at the thought of the store clerk gazed around a bit panicked. For a small moment he was relieved to see the fresh outta high school 19 year old alive and well at the counter, but Billy’s heart skipped a beat when he found the young man chatting _Sam_ up. Billy rushed to the counter, clenching his fists, Billy was genuinely ready to tackle _Sam_ if she tried anything, but as he got closer, Billy was surprised to see _Sam_ holding a pair of headphones to her ears smiling. The clerk kept trying to chat her up, pointing to the magazine she had hung to.

Billy watched the scene from afar, he was genuinely shocked to see her interacting normally with another human being. Of course she had a few quirks she had to work on, her excessive and enthusiastic nodding, her eagerness to touch without boundaries, but Billy felt an odd amity to this scene.

Billy had to stop himself. He knew how steep that rabbit hole was, especially when Billy was younger, her didn’t understand why his mother forgave his father all those times before she left, but Billy was beginning to get a clue. It was when his mother could see the sliver of good in someone.

As Billy closed the distance, the clerk finished up bagging everything and bid her a friendly, and dare Billy might think, flirty farewell. “On the house, we’re a charity after all. You’ll kill it in those clothes, just do me a favour and check out the record shop, you’ll find a ton of other cool tracks there.” The clerk waved her goodbye with a mystified look as she made her way to the door. Before she pushed it open, she gave the clerk a wink and a cheeky smile.

 _Sam’s_ gaze quickly found Billy and cocked her head for him to follow. Billy’s jaw was half dropped. He truly was amazed because he _knew_ that she picked up that winking and flirtatious trait from him. “Dude your girlfriend is so awesome and hot” Billy glared at the clerk.

Initially, he was confusedly angry that the clerk shared that with him, mostly because it was instinctive when another guy checked out the girl’s that Billy went out with, but Bill quickly sorted his thoughts and narrowed his eyes. “She’s _not_ my girlfriend” Billy nearly hissed through his teeth with attitude, he helped himself to one of the lollipops by the register, throwing the wrapper at the clerk and followed after her.

When Billy returned to the van, still in a bit of an inexplicable sour mood, he stood at a distance, waiting for _Sam_ to take notice of him after being enveloped in her magazine. Billy kissed his teeth, which finally made her tear her soft brown eyes from the flimsy stack of paper. “You’re really not on board with this whole lay low and blend in thing huh?”

She raised an eyebrow apathetically and tossed him the keys. If this were a normal kidnapping scenario, that would have been a very risky move, that’s what surprised Billy the most, that _he_ was given the responsibility, but as she nonchalantly climbed into the passenger side, she was anything _but_ normal and that quickly reminded Billy she was a force not to be reckoned with.

Once in the driver side, he kissed his teeth again as he side glanced her. _Sam_ was completely fixated on her magazine. To Billy, the scene was _too_ domesticate for a weapon like her. It wasn’t that Billy was uncomfortable, he just somewhat regretted giving her a name and started to see her a little less monster like. Billy refused, as much as he loved her, to fall in the same trap as his mother.

To break this odd scenery, Billy turned on the radio, hoping it would entice some form of reaction to disrupt her thoughts. It did to some extent. She motioned to turn it off, but pondered for a bit and let it play. _Sam_ figured it not only gave Billy some solace, but she really enjoyed when the clerk let her try his head phones, even a small smile sprang to her lips when she remembered Billy in the diner.

Billy scoffed at her decision. He lit up a cigarette and changed the station. When he landed on a station that was more to his taste, he hit the steering wheel to the beat of _Cum On Feel The Noize_ and burst out singing. _Sam_ at first tried ignoring him, but she found it incredibly hard, especially when he’d swerve on the road here and there.

Billy was now semi-headbaning to the tune, his long wavy hair a mess in his face, he even had a genuine smile as well as _Sam_ laughed at him. “There you go! They’ve gotta have music in Russia?” Billy kept singing and singing as she laughed.

Billy wasn’t sure how this food feeling came on, but he hadn’t realised how much he missed _his_ music, he never realised how much he missed the company of another, like genuine enjoyed it too. Despite the person he was spending it with, he was actually enjoying himself.

And in a small fleeting moment, Billy wasn’t sure what it was, but the light from the lowering sun hit her face and skin, the way her blonde hair danced with the wind, making it shine in the light, and the way her smile outshone the sun, Billy felt like time slowed as that moment almost burnt into his memory, he forgot where he was, he forgot that she could turn people and things to dust. Billy forgot her cold and distant demeanour. At that moment he saw a girl who enjoyed his company, not because he was attractive, but because he was himself.

Billy _also_ forgot he was driving, and had to tear his eyes away, almost swerving out of the way of an oncoming semi. Billy’s heart was racing. A brief silence hung in the air before he heard _Sam_ snort and cackle again. “It’s not funny!” Billy tried seeming authoritative and angry, but she couldn’t help herself and kept laughing “ _chertov idiot_ ”.

\---

When they made it back to the motel in one piece, a small smile was still teasing on Sam’s lips. Billy just glared at her when they entered the motel room. Once inside, Sam collapsed on the bed in a fit of laughter, Billy just tossed the keys onto the night table, crossed his arms over his chest and glared “Are you done?”

Thankfully, her fit was coming to an end. Billy found himself at the mini bar and pulled a small clear bottle from the fridge. Sam was immediately alerted and sat upon the bed. Billy raised his hand and twisted the cap off “Relax, it’s tequila. I need it after hearing that laugh all the way back”. Billy took a swing from it and winced. She watched intensely, her nerves beginning to bundle up. Billy could visually see her get more tense, almost looking like a cat ready to pounce.

“Tequila? Come on, you would have heard of Vodka at least?” Billy just watched her unchanging intense expression. He shook his head and pulled a second clear bottle from the fridge and handed it to her “Here, you should feel right at home with his one”. Sam cracked the bottle open and took a whiff. She was assaulted by a poignant stench and gagged, glaring at Billy when he began to laugh. “Don’t smell it first dumbass. Just drink it.” And he threw his head back, his own bottle in tow.

Sam watched carefully and mimicked Billy’s actions. She took too much and coughed, the fiery spirit felt like it was burning a hole in her body. Same creased her brow and looked pleadingly at Billy, almost asking for help. Billy just laughed and slapped her on the shoulder. “The more you drink it the less it tastes like gasoline” and took another swig.

Sam grimaced at Billy’s ability to consume the awful liquid and Billy figured she wasn’t too keen on it and motioned to grab for it. “It’s not for everyone, just figured a russki such as yourself could handle it”.

Sam snapped the drink away and took another rebellious but also resentful large swing. Billy couldn’t help but smile at her competitiveness. An idea soon popped in his head. _Out drink her and escape_. Technically if she drank a lot on her first time, she would have absolutely zero tolerance and her hangover would keep her near bed ridden. It was perfect, but to make sure it wasn’t too obvious, Billy flicked the tv on and came up with some sort of excuse for heavy drinking.

“If you really want to blend into American culture, you have to learn 3 things, Music, Movies and how to handle your alcohol”. Billy counted on his fingers these _important_ segways. But it didn’t matter if it sounded like bullshit, Billy could see Sam’s soft and warm brown eyes glaze over as the alcohol was taking fast effect.

At the start, Billy thought it would be easy, but he shouldn’t have doubted a born and bred Russian’s ability to drink. Sam was practically one for one on the drinking and the mini bar was slowly being emptied of its contents. And soon enough, Billy couldn’t remember his own plan as the alcohol swam through his head, whirlpooling his thought process. Billy actually became distracted by the movie meant for Sam so he could sneak off.

Billy and Sam found themselves on the same bed, backs against the headboard, legs crossed and drinks in their laps. They watched _The Breakfast Club_ intently, laughing at the scene where the kids try and sneak past the teacher. Billy mirroring the criminal character’s words. Sam watching Billy intently in awe as he did so. But at some point, they stopped watching.

They sat beside each other in the same bed like friends at a sleepover. They were dead asleep when the credits for the movie began rolling, and on the intro notes for _Don’t You Forget About Me_ began to play, Sam rolled her head lazily to rest on Billy’s shoulder. Billy awoke from the touch. It wasn’t long enough for him to make a coherent thought even if he tried. He was well passed drunk, but rom that small moment of consciousness, Billy let out a small laugh, and his intoxicated mind found it so peaceful, he decided to rest his head comfortably on hers and fell asleep so fast. Finding comfort when the world stopped spinning, Sam anchoring him as her warm cheeks melted into the heat of his own skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian phrases spoken here are as followed:  
> "These Americans are so picky"  
> "Seven"  
> "Fucking idiot"


	6. 5. New Hair, New Problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit of a short chapter, but the next chapter is gonna be like hella long.

It was hard on Billy when his body decided it needed to awake. His head pounded and there was a hint of nausea coming on when he blinked his eyes open. Billy found it miraculous that he wasn’t bound to the bed that morning, but the thought of escape didn't come into his mind yet. His first thought was how much alcohol he consumed last night and when was the last time he drank like that.

Billy wanted to try and get more sleep if he could recover from this hangover, he pulled the covers over his head and groaned. But the headache was much too great. He tore the blankets off when his body began overheating and used his palms to cover his eyes instead. He was glad that the blinds were closed otherwise the strong sunlight would have been torture.

Unfortunately, that small blessing wouldn't last long when he heard movement coming from the bathroom. Obviously, Billy knew it was Sam, and obviously she felt awful that morning too, but her body clock was adamant on waking early even if her body, or rather head needed the rest from last night.

Billy could hear her drag her footsteps across the room to the coffee machine and then drag them to the window. Sam tore the blinds open and winced, She would suffer a little, but the shower helped her headache ease down. Billy on the other hand, groaned and writhed in the bed “Oh my God! Close the damn blinds!” but Sam ignored his pleas, instead she returned to the coffee machine and began making her awful brew.

Billy was agitated to say the least and at this moment, he didn’t care what she would do to him, he would fight her again if he had to. He tore his hands from his eyes and glared at her, but that glare soon turned to shock when he noticed something different. It wasn’t just her clothes, granted it was an improvement from the jumpsuit, she wore a baggy black denim jacket, ripped jeans and a pair of combat boots with a white _Led Zeppelin_ t-shirt.

All in all, it was an outfit that Billy quite liked on her, but it was the hair that displeased him. It wasn’t because it looked bad, it was just he guiltily liked the blonde hair because it reminded him of his mother. But now it was very short, and dark, _very_ dark. Billy almost found it funny that Sam must have grabbed the length and style from Molly Ringewald’s character in the movie they watched last night, but the thing that got him the most was that she was acting so nonchalant about it.

Sam finished the coffee’s and brought a mug over for Billy to the bed. Billy couldn’t stop staring in disbelief. “You know, I liked it better when it was blonde”. Sam scoffed and shrugged “ _Mne vse ravno_ ”. Billy took a sip of his coffee and cringed. “God damnit. You put battery acid in this? Holy shit!” Sam scoffed again “ _Vy mogli by skazat'_ spasibo.”

They were both in a foul mood from the hangover but the change of hairstyle was really urking Billy. “Look, I’m not saying it doesn’t suit you, but… Don’t you think it’s a little suss you changed nearly everything? What’s the old motel lady gonna think? Or the waitress? They’re gonna think you killed someone and we’re on the run and they’ll be coming for you.”

In a sense it was ub Billy’s hopes, but he also wanted to minimise confrontation with police. And it made him more agitated when Same looked as if she didn’t have a car. “ _Oni budut za nami, potomu chto vy svyazany po doverennosti._ ” Billy rolled his eyes and got out of bed to tower over her. He was getting real tired of her speaking Russian when he had a pretty good idea that she understood what he was saying. “Look, I’m trying to fucking help and I swear to God you lnow English so stop pretending like you don’t!”

Billy gave her a light shove. This hangover really wasn’t helping with his temper and he’d completely disregarded her dislike being touched, by him anyway, and her own volatile temper. Same glared at him from the touch, and the lights began to flicker “ _Ne trogay menya_.” Billy took a threatening step forward, his voice low and his shoulders squaring “Can’t understand you, so what are you gonna do huh?”

Sam wanted to use her powers to warn him off again, but something seemed to be straining them. As Billy took another step, testing his luck and her patience, Sam was ready to put him on the ground, but their small bout was cut short when two men in tactical gear and balaclava’s burst into the room, heavy hand guns aimed at them and began yelling in Russian.

Billy’s anger didn’t go away, but rather was redirected, he stepped in front of Sam defiantly and with a strong front “You friends of her? Or have you never heard of _Do not disturb_ in your country?” The Russian soldiers cocked their guns and aimed to fire at Billy. But Sam knew what they were after.

Sam tackled Billy from harm's way, launching them between the beds as the bullets followed them. Billy and Sam shared a shocked look but Sam was quick back on her feet. She had a feeling that her powers were affected by the hangover and didn’t risk a second wasted and rushed at them. She kicked the first soldier square in the chest and swung at the other while the first one was picking himself off the floor.

Sam’s swing was caught though and a strong arm heaved in to her gut. In the moment on the floor, she caught Billy’s eye as he watched. “Billy! Go!” She screamed in a thick accent and Billy didn’t waste any time. He hurtled over the bed and made for the door. But shots went off.

Billy froze at the door, he was expecting pain, but it never came. Billy turned around slowly to see the bullets hovering and corroding. Billy looked at Sam and saw blood was leaking from her nose and as she was straining a hand, a heavy boot stood on her back. Before the bullets completely turned to dust, she tore her hand to the direction of the soldiers, one fell straight to the floor, while the other simply stumbled off her.

Billy took his chance and ran, but as he turned the corner for the stairwell he was met with another Russia. Taking him by surprise, Billy heaved a foot into the soldier’s chest and he stumbled back. When the soldier regained his footing, a large blast shook the motel.

Meanwhile, in the room, Sam was struggling to her feet, readying her fists to the soldier, but the soldier took his last stand and unpinned a grenade and said his last words with malice “ _Predatel' Urod_ ”. Sam closed her eyes and concentrated hard. Considering she had to use an awful amount of energy to dig deep for her weakened powers, she was successful.

The blast went off and the impact around her, in a sort of whirlwind began to dissipate into mere specks of dust. But something unexpected happened, when she opened her eyes, she was panicked as she could physically see the force gather together and implode creating a bigger wave of force, but Sam was quick, she was able to redirect it to the door.

Billy after the first blast became incredibly weak, his legs gave out and his vision went blurry. He watched as the soldier readied his gun and pointed it straight at Billy’s forehead. Luckily, when the second blast came, the soldier lost his footing and Billy used all his strength and sent him over the balcony.

Billy rushed to the ground floor, he noticed the soldier writhing in pain, but he wasn’t going to stop and ask if he was ok. Instead, Billy went straight for the forest in the direction he knew Hawkin’s was. When he was a good 100 metres in, BIlly for a moment, was worried about Sam and looked back to the burning motel room they shared.

Billy found himself relieved when Sam clambered out of the smoking room, but he was soon overcome with dread that she would hunt him again. Billy finally took his chance for escape and continued back to Hawkin’s, trying to find any help he could get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Russian phrases spoken here are:  
> "I don't care"  
> "You could say 'Thank you' "  
> "They'll be after _us_ because you're associated by proxy."  
> "Don't touch me."  
> and the soldier says this one:  
> "Traitorous Freak"


	7. 6. The Hangover Cure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a hot minute soz guys. But this chapter is pretty long, and the next chapters will have a lot going in it! so enjoy! and thank you so much for sticking this far into it! I know it's going slow but my user name isn't that for no reason.

Sam crawled through the smoke to fresh air. She heaved to get the smoke out of her lungs and coughed violently. In the mess of the rubble she found a radio blaring with static and a distorted voice “ _ALPHA TEAM! COME IN!_ ” Sam glared at the radio. They were planning on killing Billy by all means necessary and possibly her if she wasn’t careful.

Sam felt defeated but at the thought of Billy she quickly glanced around for any signs of him. With new vigor, she struggled to her feet and made her way down to the parking lot, she noticed the clerk was on the phone at her desk, speaking frantically in the phone and Sam silently counted her blessings that she was preoccupied.

Same scanned the surrounding area. Still nothing of Billy. She tried to calm herself when she felt panic arise _It’s good if there’s no sign of him right_? But that panic kept bubbling over and Sam tossed her wide eyes around. Her eyes landed on the phone booth and she made her way quickly to it. She knew she had to make it up to _Him_ , she knew she was out of line now.

Sam struggled to dial the numbers with shaky hands and say the coded words with a shaky voice, but she pressed on. As she waited for the tone to pick up, she felt the discomfort under her nose and wiped a mess of dried blood. She wasn’t so much worried about straining her powers, but this was different, she not only strained her powers, but she must have used her power in some way to drain Billy as well as used her powers in a new way to redirecting force.

Same became lost in thought as she stared at the blood on her sleeve. Sam found herself getting angry now, the panic slowly leaving. She was straining her powers and putting herself at risk for Billy, and he abandoned her. But Sam knew she couldn’t blame Billy in wanting to be free, but Billy made her feel…. Like a real person, like she was allowed to laugh, to have fun, Hell! Even to get angry and after that he was gone she could feel herself slip into what she was, a cold numb weapon.

The tone cut out and that cold voice rang through. “ _Seven._ ” It was flat and bared no emotion, not even concern when Same knew _He_ was aware of the attack. Sam started slowly, her voice was still shaky but her anger was waning the panic. “ _I’m…. I’m sorry. I--_ ” “ _what is the status on your extraction team_?” His cold voice cut her off like a scalpel.

Sam felt fury when there was no concern presented for her again. “ _They’re gone. But I didn’t know-- You have to understand, I can fix this, I can--_ ” Again the voice sliced through her dialogue. It was too cool and calm for this situation and Sam knew it “ _Gone? Like your experiment? Are you lying to me again Seven or are you_ this _out of line?_ ”

Same felt hot tears of anger and panic trail down her dirty face, and her hands began to shake again. “ _No! Please understand! I’ll take care of him-- I’ll take care of Billy! I promise I’ll fix this!_ ” This Time the voice wasn’t calm, it hissed through the line “ _My god, you’ve given it a name. You_ will _fix this Seven. We’ll fix_ you _! We’ll condition you when you get back home and make sure you never step out of line aga--_ ” Sam was now sobbing that they would use any force on her to go back to that prison. She gripped the handset tightly and shrieked “ _NO!_ ” Her powers lashing out with her emotions and corroded half the phone box.

Sam leaned on the glass wall of the booth and sobbed. Billy was right about one thing, they gave numbers to prisoners, people they wanted to break and take away their humanity. But when she thought about Billy, a new spark began to flar and her resolution became clear again. _They want a weapon, I’ll give them one._

In the distance she heard police sirens and firetrucks. Sam thought it was perfect timing and began walking at a hurried pace on the edge of the forest back to Hawkins. She set a clear goal and path in her mind. She was going to kill her target and Billy.

\---

Eleven watched out the window as she and Joyce drove back into Hawkins. Joyce was adamant to keep the boys out of it but Eleven knew they were already on their way. It felt strange for Eleven to be back, on the one hand, it felt like she never left, but on the other, it felt too long.

Eleven’s gaze was torn from the scenery when Joyce slammed on the breaks, to what, or who made them stop. Billy had his arms raised in front of the car. He looked awful, his nose had dried blood, he was dirty all over and he carried himself weakly and sluggishly.

Joyce and Eleven were baffled and stared at each other. It was too much of a coincidence. Billy didn’t even take notice and even though he knew it was a bit _too_ convenient, he hopped in the backseat anyway and ushered them to go.

When Eleven looked to the backseat, Billy’s eyes were fluttering close. Billy was so weak and exhausted, not to mention the killer hangover. But things were looking up. Even though he didn’t recognise the _strangers_ in the front seat, he didn’t care, as long as they weren’t Russian. Billy relaxed and let his pounding head ease him to a quick nap.

\---

Joyce and Eleven thought to bring Billy back home, but thought better of it. Billy was thankful for it too, now that he had a good think about it, showing up on the doorstep after 3 months with people he barely knew and his father was home wouldn’t go down so well.

Instead they opted for some place else and of course Joyce knew Eleven would want to see Mike. As they pulled up they could see Mrs. Wheeler peak from the window. Karen recognised Eleven and Joyce, and for a moment she thought she was Billy! Karen’s heart skipped a beat. Of course nothing happened between them, but guilt still resided there.

When Karen called for Mike excitedly, she tried her best to stop her voice from shaking, but when she looked back to the car, no one was in the backseat. Was she hallucinating? She could have sworn someone was there.

In the car, Eleven and Joyce looked at Billy confused. He was laying as flat as he possibly could to the seat. “What are you doing?” Eleven asked, Billy pursed his lips “The parent’s can’t see me. It’s complicated.” Eleven and Joyce nodded slowly and exit the car. Eleven whispered to Billy, not to bring too much attention to the backseat “Ok. Wait for my signal.”

When Eleven turned to the Wheeler’s house, Mike was already running to her. They nearly collided into each other, tears welling up. “Oh my god! El! I missed you!” Mike held her tight, and Eleven wrapped her arms tightly around him. “I know. Me too” Before a moment longer, Eleven urgently pushed him away and looked at him intensely. “What are you doing back in Hawkins?” Mike could tell something was wrong by her expression, and he knew she didn’t have to come back in another month or so.

Eleven looked to the car and back to Mike “We need to talk. In your basement.” Mike nodded eagerly and let them follow him back to his house. Billy waited and listened. He wasn’t sure what kind of signal he was waiting for but he wasn’t too wager to blow his cover. If Karen saw him, he knew there would be too many questions and awkward tension between them. Billy really didn’t have the mind for that right now, not with this hangover still blaring in his head.

Billy simply laid there and felt his mind go heavy again, he was ready for another nap. Billy realised he was famished, he hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday morning and his throat was dry. He couldn’t wait any longer. Billy sat up and watched the house for the _signal_ , bouncing his leg up and down impatiently. Even if Karen saw him, he didn't know what he’d do or say but he figured he’d cross that bridge when he got to it.

Luckily, not long after, he heard a screen door open and shut and saw Eleven peer from the back of the house for him to come over. Billy quickly made his move and followed after he. Once inside the basement, Mike looked at Billy and back to Eleven “Billy!? _How--_!?” Eleven shoved a hand over Mike’s mouth before he got too loud.

Mike just watched as Bilyl walked around Mike’s basement, fiddling with all the trinkets “Wow, you’re like…. A proper nerd.” Billy, never in a million years would think to find himself in the company of the likes of Mike. Mike just narrowed his eyes at Billy “And why should we help you? Last time i saw you, you tried to kill us.” Billy obviously had bare minimum memory of that time, he did feel a pang of guilt, especially that the one thing he _could_ remember was trying to have an affair with his mom, but he just pouted his lip.

Of course he felt bad, but it was unlike him to ever say sorry, so he played the self he was most comfortable with, the one everyone saw him as, _The Asshole_ , and plus this hangover wasn’t doing the best to his people skills.

Eleven stood in front of Mike to get his attention again as Billy made himself comfortable on Mike’s couch and began to close his eyes. “Mike. Billy’s in trouble.” Eleven tried pleading, but Mike’s temper and dislike of Billy was having none of it. “Yeah, you bet, _MOM--_ ” Eleven covered Mike’s mouth again and put on her best puppy dog eyes. “Miuke, please. Hawkin’s is in trouble.” Mike couldn’t resist when Eleven pleaded like _this_ , and if Hawkins was in trouble _again_ , he knew he had to swallow his pride and do something.

Their sincere moment was cut short when Billy writhed as his hunger pains became worse “You got any food Wheeler?” Mike grimaced at Billy and to Eleven “Well, he can’t stay here. He’s supposed to be dead.” Again Eleven pleaded with her eyes and Mike sighed “But I might know a place.”

Meanwhile, Joyce was upstairs, trying to chat up Karen so she wouldn’t bother the kids downstairs and keep her distracted, but Karen was observant. “So who was that in your car, the backseat?” Joyce pretended at first like she didn't understand and tried lying, but she was never good at it “Wha--no one.” Karen pursed her lips, obvious she wasn’t buying it. “Oh, that! Must be a ghost or something, haha, I get that all the time!” Karen still wasn’t buying it.

Luckily, Mike bolted up the stairs at the right moment and raided the fridge, and bolted back to the basement, which distracted Karen long enough. “Hey! What are you doing with my leftovers?” Miked paced on the spot, quickly trying to come up with something. “Long drive, El’s hungry” and shot down the stairs.

Thankfully for Joyce, it was a good segway for Karen to change the subject. “Oh my god! I didn’t even consider! Are you hungry Joyce?” Joyce used this as an opportunity and nodded eagerly “Famished!”

\---

As soon as Billy had his feed, they rushed out of the house back to the car, Mike in tow. Karen watched as they went, curious as to why they were in such a hurry when Mike said they were just going to catch up with his friends. Luckily, Billy was already in the car laying flat on the seat as to not get her attention and they sped off.

Nancy after all the commotion came down the stairs “Who was that?” Karen distractedly watched as the car went off, only giving half her attention to her daughter. “That was, uhm, Joyce and El….” Nacy perked up, obviously she was hopeful that Jonothan was with them. But Karen could sense that hope and sadly smiled to her daughter “No Jonothan though.” Nancy nodded and returned to her room.

On the drive, Mike was constantly on his walkie, trying to reach the other’s but there was still no answer. Billy groaned “Jesus Christ, give it a rest!” Mike aggressively detracted the antennae and glared at him. “This is to help _you_ asshole!” Billy returned the glare as he pinched the bridge of his nose, his headache _was_ going away, but Mike’s persistence with the walkie was driving him insane. “I have a hangover and your cosntant voice is driving me up the fucking wall.”

Mike peered at him in disbelief, raising his voice as he spoke which made Billy cringe “You’ve been been dead 3 months but you have enough time to get shit face!?” Billy rolled his eyes and raised his own voice, whatever patience he had was gone “I didn’t have a choice Wheeler!” Mike sank back in his seat and pulled the antennae out with sass “Bullshit” and continued with his walkie. Billy groaned and growled, even tried blocking his ears but Mike was insistent.

Finally, Billy had enough and tore the device from Mike’s hands and held it away from him, Mike glared at him, and Billy glared right back. “Take it from me Wheeler”, it was more a threat than a command, but Mike was more than willing to fight to get it back. “Give it back you dick!” Mike clawed and reached for the walkie but Billy kept it at arm’s length away.

The constant bickering and fighting was driving both Joyce and Eleven mad and after a few minutes, they simultaenously snapped their heads back and yelled at them “ _HEY!_ ”, but what stole everyone’s attention was Eleven snatching the walkie without using her hands. The boys stoppped and Joyce went back to driving, Eleven, of course was happy her powers were back, but ultimately was still annoyed by the boys and continued glaring at them. And on a whim, the walkie cackled and Dustin’s distorted voice rang through. “Mike! This is Dustin, I copy!”

From the moment of surprise, Mike grasped the walkie urgently and explained they had a code _Red_. Mike told Dustin and the other’s to meet at the video store. Dustin explained he was already there hanging out with Steve and Billy scoffed at that. Mike side glanced Billy with agitation but listened to Dustin. “You just worry about getting here, I’ll contact the others.”

Billy lit up a cigarette and fished in the pocket behind the drivers seat for a pair of sunglasses, they weren’t his style, rocking the mom sunglasses, but it eased the headache a little. He blew out the acrid smoke and looked at Mike. “Harrington’s gonna help us? Really?” Mike rolled his eyes and shook his head. He couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy.

\---

Sam had marched so long. It was ages until she reached the outskirts of Hawkins. She found a car lot and knew it was a good opportunity. Before she left the decimated motel, she looted the Russian soldier’s, and was lucky to find they all had money to get by in the states. Sam approached the car salesman and handed him the cash. The man counted the money, surprised to see a girl so young carry that much just on her body, and between notes, he’d take a sly glance to check her out, in his mind, she was cute, a bit rough around the edges and dirty from whatever she came from, but still cute.

When he finished counting, she was browsing around to find a beaten up 70’s Camaro. Sam wasn’t sure why, but it was evoking want, or nostalgia? She pointed aggressively to it and the man sighed. “With this money, you’re lucky to get a cheap little toyota.” Of course he was lying, she knew how much she had and even after buying the Camaro, she’d have some leftover.

But the man was obviously trying to pry as much money from her and then some. The man sighed, feigning defeat, he approached the girl, looking her up and down, and played with a lock of her now black hair. “But, I’m sure we can work something out. A girl all the way out here with this much money is sure to get enough attention.”

Same knew exactly what he was after, and with a quick strike, she punched him in the throat. The man fell to his knees trying to choke out an insult, but Sam wasn’t the least bit threatened. She crouched down and held out her palm for the keys, For a moment he wouldn’t budge until she raised her first again and he surrendered, he threw a stack of keys at her with labels to each car.

Sam snatched them and the money, stood and spat on the ground beside him. “ _Gryaznaya amerikanskaya svin'ya_.” and marched to her prize. She was already in a foul mood, and the fact that her powers seemed capped, she considered the man lucky.

Once in the car, she adjusted the mirrors, put the keys into the ignition and revved the powerful engine before speeding off.

\---

Once they arrived at the video store, they all followed Dustin’s orders to head to the backroom where the rest of them were waiting, annd to Joyce’s surprise and displeasure, found Will and Jonothan there too. As Billy was the last one to come through whilst Steve held the door open for the group, he became incredibly confused.

The sunglasses were doing nothing to hide Billy’s identity, but Billy obviously wasn’t using them for that. Billy hardly took notice of Steve when he walked by. “Hargrove? I thought you were dead?” Billy wanted to shove Steve with his shoulder, but he found it hard to actually find malice for his rival anymore, they weren’t in highschool anymore and Steve was helping him. But of course Billy wasn’t just gonna be friendly right away. “You wish Harrington” and followed the other’s into the small room.

Steven shrugged and closed the door behind him so their meeting could begin.

\---

Sam couldn’t very well use her powers to look for Billy, so she tried the good old fashioned way, starting with his house. As she pulled the loud Camaro across the street from the house, she saw an older looking man emerge from the house. He was solid, built like a brick shit house and had a thick moustache, he seemed the type to have joined the military and bring the strict rules at home, especially with the way he matched and carried himself.

Sam couldn’t quite place her finger on it, but when she looked at him, she was reminded of the man who raised her, all she could feel was rage and pain. As the man came closer, he pointed a finger threateningly at Sam and gritted his teeth. “What the _Hell’s_ wrong with you, pulling my son’s car up at my house!”

The man continued yelling in her face but her mind took her to a memory that was not her own. It showed Sam how violent he was with Billy and it infuriated her. True enough, Sam _did_ want to turn him to nothing, but she thought a good beating would suffice, and despite her willingness to kill, she didn’t have it in her, not for this man. Not for Billy’s father.

Instead, she head butt his nose, and he stumbled backwards as blood gushed out, and in the moment he was dazed, she grabbed his shoulders and heaved a knee into his groin and made on her way. Dissatisfied that Billy cleary wasn’t here.

\---

The group was all in the room. Joyce, Eleven, Lucas, Max, Jonothan, Will, Billy, Steve, Dustin and Robyn. Steve kept arguing with Robyn saying she shouldn't be here but Robyn argued back saying she helped out quite a lot last time, and Dustin backed her up. Billy, with his headache pounding as strong as ever, was getting agitated. He was trying to sleep with his arms crossed on the chair, using the sunglasses to mask that his eyes were trying to stay closed, but the constant bickering was making it impossible.

“Harrington! Can you please shut her up or make out with this chick, because I swear to god if this hangover doesn’t kill me, you two will.” Steve disgruntled his face, he was well aware of how Robyn felt about him, they were frenemies but he still had high respect for Robyn, but just the utter disregard Billy had for her made Steve angry. “Hey, yeah, I know this might be a sensitive topic, but…. Why are you alive?”

It was indeed a sensitive topic, and Billy knew Steve was being a smartass, so Billy reacted the only way he knew how. He stood and squared his shoulders, tearing off the sunglasses to glare his blue eyes at Steve from across the room and pointed threateningly, apparent that their rivalry wasn’t actually over “I beat your ass once, and I can sure as hell do it again hungover Harrington.”

Steve in retaliation did the same, the room had to calm them both down. Billy sat back down and returned the sunglasses to his face and Joyce finally noticed he plucked them from her car. “Are those mine?” Billy raised his eyebrows casually and put on a friendly face so fast it was almost comical “I hope you don’t mind Ms Byers.”

Dustin cut in this time “What do you mean hungover?” Billy sighed and began explaining all the events leading up to now.

When Billy finished, the group started to discuss amongst themselves. They knew this Russian would protect Billy at all costs, but also theorised that making a plan around that might actually work with her insensitivity to kill others as Billy aforementioned.

Meanwhile, Billy took the opportunity to rest and let his eyelids slowly go down, their voices droned out. But this time as Billy slowly drifted out, he didn’t dream. Instead, his mind took him to a memory, a bad memory of his father and Billy caught himself in that void again. In the distance, he could see his house, and his father…. And then he saw _Her_.

Billy snapped his eyes open and jolted awake. The group ceased their talking and stared at him. Billy’s hangover was gone from the panic pumping adrenaline and looked at them wide eyed. “ _She’s_ back in Hawkins…. She’s at my _house_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian phrases spoken here:  
> "Filthy American Pig"


	8. 7. Lure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> mentions of physical abuse.
> 
> thank you for reading guys! and I really hope y'all enjoy it!

Of course the group was confused, how could Billy possibly know? But Billy knew there was no denying it, the feeling was much too strong. They all rushed to get themselves together, their plan only half formed. They planned to use Billy as bait to lure the Russian in and maybe even potentially as a shield but that could change, and they couldn’t get a plan together if it was the latter.

Billy hopped in the backseat of Joyce’s car fearing for the worst. He didn’t see anything past the scenery of his house, his father and _Her_. He really didn’t want to believe that she actually _killed_ his father, no matter how many times Billy thought he deserved it, but it was still his dad, and really his only connection to his mother besides for memories.

Even as Billy reminded himself of all the harm Sam could do, he still saw her smiling in the van, how sweet and carefree she looked with him, and tried to reason that maybe she had a change of heart? Billy watched the road ahead and tapped impatiently on the leather seats “Can this thing go any faster?” Joyce shook her head apologetically, she was already driving recklessly but she couldn’t risk killing them all by pushing the limits on speed.

Eleven grasped Billy’s clammy hand and, despite her worried eyes, the small gesture had actually calmed him, the thought of someone else being concerned didn’t stress him out or make him feel alone. When they swerved on to Cherrybrook Drive, Billy halted them to a stop. Something else was pressing on his mind.

They were parked on the opposite side just far enough so they couldn’t get noticed through the foliage, but close enough to spy on the house. Billy had chosen to stop exactly here because he spent countless times parked in this exact spot, before all this crazy shit happened, Billy would spend time in his car in this spot to prepare himself, to scope out his home, to see how his father was acting, if he was drunk, angry, yelling.

Despite those painful memories, it proved to be an advantage in the past, avoiding conflict with his father and even now. Billy had almost forgot that he was gone for 3 months, and the urgency to make sure his father was alive had blindsided him. Billy realised he didn’t have a seemingly plausible explanation as to why he’s been missing for 3 months, and Billy wanted to avoid conflict with his father at every angle.

Joyce and Eleven looked at Billy, Billy just pointed to a clearing in the foliage that gained a view of the kitchen window and into the living room, and they waited. Billy didn’t cae how long they waited, he _needed_ to see that his father was okay. After what felt like the longest 5 minutes of Billy’s life, he sighed, relieved when his father walked through the living room into the kitchen, grabbing another ice pack from the freezer and pressed it gently to his face.

Billy could feel a wave of relief wash through him like stepping into a hot shower. Whatever Sam did to his father, it obviously wasn’t fatal. By the looks of it, Billy could recognise those wounds, bleeding nose, black eye, and by the way his father walked, sore groin. Those were the wounds from someone who was royally pissed, and in a guilty sense, Billy _did_ think his father deserved it, just a little.

Billy _almost_ felt like his anger towards his father was channelled through Sam, she did exactly what Billy wanted to do for so many years, but of course Billy didn’t have the balls to do it in fear of his father lashing out ten fold. But as soon as the idea came in his head, he quickly dismissed it. Billy could feel that he and Sa, were connected in some way, but surely their memories and feelings attached to them weren’t connected, or were they?

It was almost like Billy was calling out to Sam as he kept thinking of her because he was pulled into that all too familiar void, but he wasn’t alone, Eleven was there. They shared a glance and despite Billy’s best efforts, Eleven could sense Billy was on edge.

The dark space was empty, save for a single building that they both barely recognised. Eleven grasped Billy’s hand. Billy felt awkward about it but he could tell Eleven was trying to comfort him, or maybe the other way around. Again, Billy put on his best strong face and stepped toward the building, and Eleven followed.

Billy wasn’t at all used to being the comforting type, but he’d figured he’d do his best for the one person he had faith in to stop the Russian weapon. At this point, Billy knew he had to see Sam as only that now, otherwise it would be hard to put a stop to her.

They entered the building and it was empty, they walked further and Eleven stopped, pointing to a table. _She_ was sitting facing away from them, no books in front of her, just…. _waiting_. When Billy took another step toward her, _she_ turned her head just the slightest and the pair were pushed back into their bodies.

Billy and Eleven gasped for air, spooking Joyce a bit. They both touched at their leaking noses and Eleven looked at Billy, concern creasing her brows. “Billy…. It’s a trap.” Billy knew this, _she_ was luring _them_ to the library. They had half a plan, but what else could they do? Billy with a stern look nodded at Eleven and lowly, in his husky voice “I know.”

Eleven nodded, it was clear they had the same thoughts going through their head. Truthfully, Eleven was scared to the point her hands were shaking. She had no idea if she could really take the Russian on, she didn’t know if her powers would stay long enough to defeat their foe, and most importantly, she was terrified for everyone’s safety.

But despite all that, the confidence Billy emitted meant she wasn’t the only one willing to lay down their lives to stop the Russian.

\---

_Sam_ sat at the table in the library. After she dismissed them, a smile was playing on her lips, it was malicious. In the moment she didn't quite feel like _Sam_ , she felt like _Seven_. The moment that Billy abandoned her, rightfully so, but she felt hurt, betrayed, she felt like her carefree and happy self was dead or dormant now, and all that was left was anger and pain.

Of course it wasn’t _all_ Billy who left her feeling like this. It was all the trauma and pain building up from her years living in that cold and heartless facility in the Urals. She was angry with the world. They treated her like a dangerous weapon, then they better be damn sure to expect one.

She glanced at the clock above. She had time. She played with the coins in her pocket and made her way to the payphone in a private corner of the library. She said her coded words and dialed the number sequence. The tone immediately picked up “ _Seven, Where are you!?_ ” It was _His_ cold and commanding voice. _Seven_ scoffed and didn’t bother answering his question, why should he have to worry anyway? Everything was going to be taken care of in no less than half an hour. The target would be eliminated and her little pet project would be done, what more could _He_ ask for?

“ _Target is closing in. ETA 7 minutes_ ” and she hung up as _He_ started blaring in the phone again. But it was too late. It was _all_ too late. She couldn’t turn back now. She had to finish this and return to her only purpose. There was no saving anyone, or herself.

\---

Joyce’s car came to a halt in the parking lot of the library. They all looked at the building as it taunted them, One of their main concerns was the people still inside, but it seemed someone pulled the fire alarm as people cautiously made their way outside.

For a moment they were relieved, but that worry soon returned to their faces when the second and third car pulled up with the rest of the group in tow. Billy caught Maxine’s eyes and she seemed resolute to be there, scared, but resolute. Lucas on the other side of her was preparing his wrist rocket, tossing a few rocks in his hand. Mike bolted from the car to consolidate Eleven. Dustin was going over the plan with Steve and Steve ran a hand through his hair. Even Nancy and Robyn were inspecting their weapons, Jonothan was steadying his breathing in the driver's seat while Will talked to him.

Billy felt an overwhelming guilt. They were all here because of him, and if the plan went South, they’d all die because of _him_. Joyce was still in the car with him, and she could sense the dread from him. Joyce turned around and smiled meekly, “Don’t worry, this isn’t our first rodeo. We’ve come out on top every time, and don’t for a second think that’s it’s your fault, sweetie. We’re protecting everyone.”

In that moment Billy admired Joyce. It wasn’t because of her words, but it was the motherly emotions she was conveying, bravery, reassurance, worry, but confidence was strong in her as well. A flash of memories bloomed in Billy’s mind of his own mother, a d wondered if he’d be in this mess if she was still around.

Billy nodded confidently and exit the car. Everyone looked at him. Billy took a deep breath and moved toward the entrance.

\---

She felt a splitting headache when memories that were not her own played behind her eyelids. She rubbed her temples of the images, a woman, she was pretty in a long orange sundress, and a boy, an innocent boy relishing in his mother’s embrace as they swung on the wooden bench on the porch. It was a warm summer night and she was hummin him a lullaby.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Billy approach the building with other in tow. She felt a strange sympathy. That memory had bunched the nerves in her stomach and she began to doubt everything. But she couldn't go back, she pushed the emotions out. She couldn’t afford to go back, not now.


	9. 8.The Storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEEEEE!!! I actually got around to updating! im so sorry, i've been pretty busy with my new job that i haven't really found the time to update! but i hope you guys enjoy!

She skulked in the shadows between the bookshelves, watching the group Billy had gathered like a small army. They cautiously waited, staring with just their eyes, feeling like the slightest move might incite a surprise attack. But _Seven_ just circled them, like a predator closing in on their prey.

The whole group was growing more and more on edge, fidgeting and pacing in place. They were all experienced in these situations, not letting their nerves get the better of them and act out prematurely. They found it more strategic to wait for the opportunity.

Billy, however, was not experienced in this. Instead he made his own opportunity and he was always one to strike first, even if it wasn’t physically, Billy would strike with his words. Billy took a confident step forward and huffed chest “Come on you Commie! You freak! I’m right here! Let’s see what you got!”

Despite his best efforts _Seven_ wasn’t falling for the bait. She was trained to be a predator, a killer, a destroyer and what better way to destroy someone than make them wait for their last moments before death? She was trained to remain cool and calm like death itself, but the insult _Freak_ had chipped away her numb emotions away. _Seven_ knew Billy was trying to bait her out, but she could also sense in his voice that he didn’t mean it, it was empty, like he didn’t want to use it.

Again a thought floated through her mind to spare them and run away, to lay low until she was found by her superiors, at least she could live free for a little while. But running on that same thought, she spotted a small red dot on Billy’s chest.

 _Seven_ whipped her head around to see soldiers circle around the ceiling windows of the library. Panic flared in her mind and without thinking burst from the shadows straight to Billy. Of course she had no idea what her intentions were and once Eleven spotted her, she pushed Billy out of the way and whipped her hand out and _Seven_ was flung hard into a row of shelves.

 _Seven_ winced as the wind was knocked from her. She snapped her head up, first to Billy and felt relief that the red dot was gone. But soon her attention was drawn to her real target, to her opponent now. Eleven stumbled a bit, wiping her nose as Mike steadied her.

Eleven felt incredibly light headed from the sudden use of her powers. The feeling was akin to standing up to fast as blood rushed to her head. She reassured Mike she was fine and planted her feet, and glared defiantly at _Seven_.

 _Seven_ slowly made to her feet and mirrored Eleven’s glare. It was like a daunting calm before the storm as everyone froze and stared at the two. And as sudden as lightning that indicated the beginning of the storm, they both struck out their hands.

Eleven tried throwing large waves of force to _Seven_ , but the Russianwas able to redirect the wave, tossing it to the side and dislodging numerous bolted down book shelves. And again, Eleven kept throwing her power at _Seven_ , taking a step each time to try and overpower her equal.

At this point, the library was now just an empty floor space with bookshelves, tables and loose papers climbing the walls. Eleven was becoming exhausted, blood poured from her nose, but she knew she couldn’t stop, so she tried throwing one last powerful wave, hoping it would throw her opponent off, yelling defiantly with all the pain and power into it.

For a small moment, _Seven_ was caught off guard, almost being knocked off her feet. But at the last second, _Seven_ focused, planted her feet and raised her arms. Through the ripple waves of gravity before her, _Seven_ caught Eleven’s wide gaze. Like Eleven, _Seven_ was getting tired, her own nose in a constant red stream, but the Russian knew she had a lot more years under her belt than her opponent.

 _Seven_ stood up straight, with confidence, relaxing her shoulders and grinned at Eleven “Mne nravyatsya tvoi khitrosti, malen'kiy volshebnik, no ya Bog.” and pushed the powerful waves the Russian accumulated from Eleven relentless attacks back at her.

Eleven was too weak to stop all of it, but she managed to lessen the blow just enough so it only flung the group backwards. Billy being just out of range from the group was thrown to the side, luckily, not much of the blast affected him. When he came to, _Seven_ took even steps toward the group, and that familiar low vibration began.

Panic arose, Billy knew exactly what followed. Before he knew it, Billy was sprinting toward _Seven_. It felt like time slowed as he watched the Russian slowly turn her attention to him. But little did they both know. Eleven was getting a second wind.

Just as soon as Billy made contact, tackling _Seven_ , Eleven let out a raging scream, her eyes going bloodshot as she let one last powerful wave out. If Billy hadn’t distracted _Seven_ , she would have ended it then and there, but the pair were flung into the far wall of the nearly destroyed library.

From the sheer force of the blow, something would at least have been broken, or one of them dead, but it was just _Seven_ who was knocked unconscious. Billy was of course dazed and looked around, confused as to how he was alive. Billy felt something warm run down his lip and touched at his nose “Blood?”

Eleven was amazed and confused. Her last bout of strength was intended to _kill_ her opponent, which in turn should have killed Billy as well. But Eleven could still see _Seven_ breathing, and Billy was dazed, but he was still ok. Eleven knew the instant that she let her power out, she felt them being deflected or absorbed even just the slightest. Could he opponent really have instinctively protected Billy?

The group regain their footing, Mike and Joyce helping Eleven to her feet and cautiously approached the enemy, helping Billy up when they came close enough. For the most part, they were all relieved, _Seven_ wasn’t dead, but she was at least unconscious which meant that they had time to think what to do next.

But that moment of relief was short lived. Glass shattered above them and the sound of machine gun fire following, the group froze. The sound of bullets came from almost every direction and there was no way of escape. Eleven couldn’t even protect any of them as her powers were far overused and she felt incredibly faint.

They all closed their eyes and waited for the worst…. But it never came?

In the moment the group had their eyes closed, _Seven_ stood, blood gushing from her nose and ears, her eyes were intensely bloodshot. Billy was the first to open his eyes when he felt no bullet wounds, the first thing he saw was _Sam_ , as she stood defiantly to the soldiers wearing balaclavas and looking at each other confused.

The rest of the group soon opened their eyes and gazed at the bullets in awe as they spun in place, slowly losing their form as the bullets began to disintegrate. When that low frequency vibration began, they heard shrieking and screams in Russian. The group finally noticed the black clad soldiers, writhing in pain as their bodies slowly faded to dust.

The group began to panic and tried to find an exit, most of them being blocked, but once they did, they found themselves in the eye of this black storm, the edges of it shredding the walls of the library and its contents to dust, and the small space began to close around them.

At any moment, _Seven_ could have destroyed the group, she could have ended it will killing the men meant to extract her. However, there was too much power channelling through her now. _Seven_ was overwhelmed, she was in an almost trance-like state. She succumbed to it as it took her most painful memories and the only way to escape the pain was to let her powers consume her.

 _Seven_ was on her knees, cradling her head, crying and wailing as she rocked back and forth. She was the exact centre of this tornado of destruction and as it grew stronger Billy became extremely faint, stumbling his steps as headrush after headrush attack his mind.

In a small moment of clarity, Billy saw _Sam_ , a new cloud of destruction began circling around her, like a second ring, but this one seemed more dangerous. Billy knew that this new ring was going to grow and kill everyone and he had to do _something_. But it was the sight of _Sam_ in seemingly so much pain and torment did he fight the fatigue and marched toward her.

Max was the first to notice as Billy made his way closer to the Russian. Max called after Billy time after time and Max wasn’t sure if it was that loud or if billy was blatantly ignoring her calls. Max broke off from the group, she hadn’t realised she began to cry, but she could feel the hot tears rolled down her face as she ran after Billy. Despite everything between them Max couldn’t lose Billy again.

As soon as Max was by Billy’s side, she tried urging him back to the group, offering that they’ll figure some way out of it. Billy just looked at his sister apologetically. Billy was never sure how to be a good big brother, but he had an idea of what he was supposed to say and do in a situation like this.

Billy smiled sadly to her, wiping her tears away. “It’s going to be okay Maxine.” And gave her a tight hug. Of course it felt awkward at first, but Billy quickly wiped those feelings away. He needed this hug because even if Max did believe his words, Billy didn’t believe in them himself.

The hug was longer than they both expected, but Billy made up for that by quickly tearing away. He took a deep breath, staring at the dense cloud stirring in front of him. Billy wasn’t exactly sure what his plan was to stop all this, hell, he wasn’t even sure if he’d survive getting close to _Sam_ , but he had to at least try. Billy stood up to a monster before, of course he _died_ , but this time, Billy had to confront someone who everyone _thought_ was a monster. And Billy sympathised with that, he could understand why she acted the part.

Billy lifted a hand to his face as he took a step in to the whirlwinds destructive path. He felt a burning pain as fragments of his skin were being pulled away. Another step, struggling against the current, he began to roar as the pain worsened. A large surface of his forearm was being torn into seared flesh. Like a really bad scrape.

One last step, his other arm on his shoulder was raw, and a small blotch on his cheekbone was red, but he broke through. Billy’s skin was on fire, but his immediate thoughts weren’t of the paion. It was how calm it was in the small space around the Russian. Billy took a slow steady step towards her “Sam?” Billy spoke softly and reassuringly, even to Billy it was so unlike him.

She looked up, tears rolling down her cheeks, but to Billys horror they were red tears. Whatever her powers were, they were consuming her. Billy felt something break in him when he gazed upon her face. She looked so in pain, so terrified, so desperate.

Billy knelt beside her now “Sam. Please stop this. Please spare my sister and the other’s. I promise I’ll go with you. I promise I’ll stay.” _Sam_ creased her brows, she wanted to, she wanted to get rid of her powers completely, but they overtook her in her state. “YA .... ya ne mogu. Mne zhal'.” Sam spoke in a trembling voice.

It was clear to Billy that she herself was scared, she had no control anymore. There wasn’t anything Billy could do or say. So he shuffled closer to her, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Billy closed his eyes and brought back a memory of his mother and began to hoarsely sing his mother’s lullaby.

“I feel so bad I got a worried mind  
I'm so lonesome all the time  
Since I left my baby behind  
On Blue Bayou”

 _Sam_ had felt her mind calm just the slightest, and in her small moment of clarity, she remembered why this song sounded familiar.

“Saving nickles, saving dimes  
Working til the sun don't shine  
Looking forward to happier times  
On Blue Bayou”

The memory that had invaded her mind before all of this, the woman had hummed this exact song to the small boy.

“I'm going back someday  
Come what may  
To Blue Bayou  
Where the folks are fun  
And the world is mine  
On Blue Bayou  
Where those fishing boats  
With their sails afloat  
If I could only see  
That familiar sunrise  
Through sleepy eyes  
How happy I'd be”

Soon, Sam was overcome with a tidal wave of exhaustion and her eyes slowly closed….

\---

The dense clouds were closing in on the group tightly that they were almost consumed. Luckily, the storm calmed and soon the particles in the air calmed and came to a halt floating to the ground. As they peered through the dust clouds to where Billy disappeared to, there was no ont to be found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russiam phrases here:  
> "I like your tricks little magician, but I am a God."  
> "I.... I can't. I'm sorry."


	10. 9. One Touch, A Thousand Words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, updating is getting a little more frequent considering my small hiatus! and we're slowly updating a chapter at a time. But I hope you guys are still enjoying, this chapter does have mentions of trauma and abuse, so please be wary.

Sam groaned awake. Her body was so stiff and she felt incredibly exhausted. She didn’t even remember when her mind shut down to an unconscious state. One moment she was in that library, and the next she was straining her eyes open.

When she slowly clawed her way to the world, bits and pieces fell into place, first her vision returned as her eyes adjusted to the light, squinting at her surroundings. It almost looked familiar, well it looked like all motel rooms in American, dingy, low light and bland.

What unsettled Sam was how she got here, whipping her head around, she became more unsettled to find herself tied down to the uncomfortable mattress. Sam’s first thought was that her superiors captured her, or _extracted_ as they would have put it. Panic rose and she struggled against the bindings.

For the most part it was silent in the room save for the clatter of the bed frame as she was struggling but when she realised when her ears stopped ringing from the headache she awoke from, her hearing slowly came back and she froze to listen in to an oddly familiar sound. Vomiting.

Sam stared at the motel bathroom door, waiting to see if her captor would emerge from the sounds of her struggling against the wire binding her. Footsteps dragged to the doorway, a hand grasped the doorway. Sam held her breath, but soon let it out slowly, a small strange feeling of relief washed over her. It was Billy!

However, that relief was short lived as suspicion grew. Sam narrowed her eyes at Billy. _Why would he keep her? Out of revenge? Some other cynical plan on his agenda?_ But as she stared at Billy, she soon realised he wasn’t doing too well. Billy looked drained, exhausted. Sam almost felt pity, _almost_.

She kept her narrowed gaze on Billy as he steadied himself on the doorway, rubbing his temples. When he opened his eyes to see Sam beaming at him, he almost seemed pleasantly surprised. “Oh you’re awake! About time, you were out for almost two days.”

Billy made for the coffee machine and made two mugs, Sam followed him closely with her eyes, ready for any sudden movements, any body language she suspected was suspicious, but he just seemed…. Tired, relaxed even. Nonetheless, she kept her guard up as Billy approached the bed, placing the hot mug on the night table.

Billy almost seemed to smile to himself as he reclined in the chair beside the bed. “A bit ironic, isn’t it?” He pointed to the bindings on her, amused and proud of his work, but Sam was not at all amused. Billy took a sip of his coffee to try and hide his smile, but to him the situation was almost ridiculous. “I even used the same knots you used on me. Thought you might appreciate that and find it funny, but obviously they don’t have comedy in Russia.”

Sam simply kept her narrowed gaze, her anger started boiling her blood and she felt her powers regain the slightest bit of strength as the electronics in the room began to shake. Despite the massive surge in her powers the last she used them, she didn’t expect to be able to use them so soon, and something didn’t quite sit right with her on that, but regardless, her anger had overtaken this thought and the appliances shook more violently.

Sam was expecting Billy to say something or even try and stop her, but she noticed Billy began to look weary and a small stream of blood leaked from his nose. He looked as though he was too weak to say anything. At that moment, Sam began to understand where this reserve of energy was coming from and immediately stopped.

All emotions of anger disappeared and was replaced with curiosity and concern. Billy huffed, feeling incredibly light headed, struggling to sit up straight. Sam wasn’t the only one who suspected the same. Billy leaned forward and held his head in his hands “You need to stop doing that….”

When Billy regained some strength, he gazed at Sam wearily. She simply stared at him blankly, waiting almost, she hadn’t realised her own nose began to bleed. Billy took notice of it and instinctively leaned in to wipe it away. It wasn’t very like Billy to be a caretaker and so soft, but the past two days, the girls nose would be on and off with the blood. But the sudden motion surprised Sam now that she was awake to witness this new behaviour of Billy’s and jerked back.

Billy immediately pulled his hand back and softened his gaze. Billy knew exactly what it was like when he was vulnerable and someone made a sudden move, it was frightening, especially near the face, so he understood immediately. It was also evident that Sam wasn’t used to people looking after her, even to him the motion Billy made was foreign to him, now that he thought about it, but it came so naturally to his body that he let himself into the caretaker role. He raised his hands non-threateningly, showing his palms as his blue eyes softened, the blood curls falling in his face making him look too innocent “I just wanna help”.

Sam warily watched him as Billy removed his shirt and motioned aain to wipe the blood from under her nose. There was an awkward silence in the air as they both played the role they never would have expected from themselves. Billy felt it was almost unbearable and tried breaking it. “I used the cash on you to get us the room and some food, but you’ve been out and haven’t eaten at all, and there was only one double bed room left, but it doesn’t matter, since you might have noticed i’ve been stuck in the bathroom anyway.”

Billy leaned back in the chair and stared at the blood on the T-shirt. “I know theres some kind of connection between your…. Powers and me. Everytime you use them I….” Billy stopped. He wasn’t sure how to continue, he didn’t even know what he was asking. Sam knew what his question was though. _How and Why?_ But she didn’t know her answer, not fully anyway. So she remained silent.

Billy thought she was simply being defiant and became a bit irritated. He sighed, defeated and motioned for her bindings. “If i cut you loose, you have to stop using your powers, got it?”

Billy only got a defiant and wary stare from Sam. It agitated him but he decided to untie the wire from her wrist anyway. Once her hand was free, she snatched it away from him. The sudden movement made Billy step back like she was a dangerous cornered animal, but he squared his shoulders and remained confident and stared at her with fierce eyes.

Sam finally removed her cautious stare from Billy and removed the rest of her bindings. Billy took this as a sign that she agreed and relaxed back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and tried his question again. “So what connection is there between me and you? Because everytime you use…. It, I’m the one ending up feeling like shit and I’m no scientist, but that doesn’t sit right with me.”

Billy waited for an answer, or even just a reaction, a face of ponder, he knew Sam could speak some form of English by now and he wasn’t going to let her fool him around anymore, but it seemed Same deliberately ignored him as she was more focused on rubbing her sore wrists.

Billy sighed and gritted his teeth, and gave a quick lick to his lips before he began again. “I know you speak English.” The malice in Billy’s voice finally caught Sam’s attention. She snapped her sharp brown eyes on him, at first they were cold and distant, but when she spotted the fresh wounds on Billy’s arms and face, her gaze softened.

Sam unexpectedly leaned closer to Billy as she investigated them. Billy almost felt embarrassed as she fussed over him, but he tried hiding it under a mask of annoyance. “It’s nothing, just a few scrapes.” Sam met billy’s eyes, they were no longer sharp, but a soft and warm brown, and Billy felt his gut churn with remorse and sadness at her broken expression. Billy couldn’t help but feel the sadness in Sam’s eyes and quickly averted his own. “You were…. I don’t know, lost control or something, it’s really not that bad.”

Sam stopped listening once she heard she was responsible. For a moment she was hesitant to actually touch Billy, but she caved and gently danced her fingertips around his wounds. Billy almost jerked under her touch, it wasn’t because it hurt or it was unpleasant, it was actually the opposite. Billy felt an electric shock go up his spine as her fingertips traced over his skin like a cool breeze tickled your nerves and gave you goosebumps. For the most part he was able to control himself, until her fingers found their way to his collarbone and his neck.

Billy snatched her hand. They both didn’t expect the sudden movement. To Billy, the area was obviously sensitive, and another strange shock ran down his spine as he felt a hot flush, but across his collarbone, it was sensitive because Sam found old scars from his childhood…. From his father.

Billy held his breath from the touch and released it through gritted teeth. “Those ones still hurt.” Sam found it hard to stare at Billy’s glossy blue eyes. In that moment she found them far too bright, far too blue, too soft and vulnerable, too beautiful. She felt undeserving of that part of him and quickly tore her eyes away.

Sam’s eyes however, spotted another scar she was familiar with. The one deep gash on his chest. Billy, before he followed her gaze, found himself staring intently at her. He wasn’t sure what he felt, but he knew his mind was calm, there was no anger, no pain, just a strange euphoria he hadn’t felt in a long time for that brief second.

When he followed Sam’s gaze, Billy almost laughed dryly “That one doesn’t hurt anymore.” Sam could hear the slight amusement in his husky voice, but her curiosity had overtaken her and placed her hand fully on his chest, enveloping the scar.

In an instant, a reel of memories flashed between them. Sam could even feel everything Billy was reliving on that 4th of July night. Sam saw Billy standing up to that…. _thing_. She saw Billy protecting Eleven, his sister and the other kids. She saw Billy die for them.

The memory was hardly a second long, but for Billy it felt like an eternity. He jerked back and as soon as Sam wasn’t touching Billy’s chest, they returned to reality. Billy huffed, and tried masking the influx of emotion on his face. He licked his lips and stammered quickly “You hungry? Sure you are, you haven’t eaten in days.” And he stood up abruptly, and hurried to find another t-shirt and a denim jacket.

Despite Billy’s best efforts, Sam could see that memory had still deeply disturbed him. Sam began to think it was time to tell him _everything_.

\---

They stopped into a cheap quiet diner, once the loud muscle car roared to a halt and died off, Billy gripped the steering wheel tightly. It felt too familiar, sitting in the driver's seat of his now beaten up camaro.

His wandering mind was halted when Same exit the car in a hurry, and he watched with amusement as she rubbed her stomach indicating that she was famished. As Sam stretched out her stiff muscles from the long rest, Billy found himself staring again, The same feeling swirling in his chest that say as she smiled in the sunlight of the van.

Sam snapped Billy out of his trance when she knocked on the passenger window to hurry him out. He smiled to himself at how eager she was for a feed, never seeing her this excited before. But a sudden thought crossed his mind, _this isn’t normal._

Billy sighed, exiting the car and lead the pair inside the diner. The bell chimed and the apathetic waitress didn’t even bother looking up as she spoke. “Table for two?” It wasn’t so much a question but rather a demand. Billy affirmed and the waitress continued her monotone voice, briefly looking up, or more so checking Billy out as she followed with another apathetic question, “Coffee?”

Billy turned to look at Sam. SHe was watching the surroundings around her and Billy thought there was no point asking and ordered for the both of them. “Yeah, just two white coffees” Just as the waitress wrote down the order, Sam took a step forward and with near perfect English, but still a heavy russian accent “Black coffee for me please. One sugar.”

The waitress now finally laid her bored eyes on Sam, and knitted her brows together. Billy turned to Sam bewildered and annoyance plain on his face. “What kind of accent is that?” The waitress seemed too interested in Sam for Billy’s liking. Sam _was_ going to answer but Billy quickly interjected. “German--She’s German.” The WAitress nodded and lost interest in them again and motioned the pair to take a seat.

Sam lead the way to a booth by the window and Billy was still shocked and hissed, “You could speak English this whole time!?” Sam, it seemed ignored Billy’s outburst as she sat nonchalantly in the booth. But Billy wasn’t going to let her off that easy and slid aggressively into the seat opposite of her and narrowed his piercing gaze, fierce eyes never moving.

Their coffee came almost immediately after and Sam took a quick sip. She knew Billy was waiting for some form of an explanation, not even touching his own beverage. As if she’s been speaking English this entire time, she ordered her meal. When she finished, Sam motioned for Billy to proceed with his own order.

For a moment, Billy stammered his words out, he rushed his order and thrust the menu’s back to the lame waitress to signify they finished and kept her stare on the girl until she was out of ear shot.

At the beginning, Sam didn’t quite care to speak English to her _Experiment_. At first she thought there was no point, firstly, because she knew deep down she would have to rid of him at some point, then later it became an attachment issue. Sam knew if she communicated with Billy, it would make her see him as a person and no longer just her pet project.

But now she owed Billy more than just an explanation. Sam finally met Billy’’s intense gaze and sighed. “I suppose I owe you an--” “Yeah you do.” Billy cut in sharply, gritting his teeth. Sam pursed his lips and gazed out the window as she began. Billy sat on the bench stiffly, hands clenched into tight fists on the table. Regardless of how angry or annoyed he was, he still craved an answer for this whole fucked situation and why he even bothered saving the girl and why he stuck around.

“Billy…. I come from a different world, not just a different country. In this world, there was no love, there was only power. And these people who made valued _powerful_ weapons. I was created to destroy and that’s all they valued me for. Once they caught wind that the West had weapons like me, they sent me for my only purpose. To eradicate them. After my success in a few targets, I soon discovered similarities between them. They were all connected in some way, and yet they were all free. They used their attributes in other ways, not _just_ to cause harm.

The way my abilities work is that i can deconstruct the structure of atoms. But…. after discovering these others, the ones like me, how free they were and using their abilities for good, I wanted to give myself hope. I tracked one of the targets to Hawkins. I was aware of our operations, but was unaware of the events unfolding. Up until then, I could sense my target, but suddenly, they were gone. Like they were a beacon that went dark. It was stranger. The signal was so powerful, but then…. Nothing.

And that’s when I stumbled upon the scene. The…. That thing and then you. I thought this was my chance to prove to myself that I can be so much more, so much more valuable than a weapon. It took a lot out of me. A full month before I felt like a ionce was. I don’t know why, but a part of me feels like it’s been hacked away.”

Sam only stopped when she felt Billy’s gaze tear from her. It was in both their interests to keep this conversation private. Billy eyed the waitress as she made her way over and it was lucky Sam caught on. The waitress placed the plates on the table quite harshly and even left an extra plate beside Billy’s breakfast. She gave him a wink and returned to her duties.

It was out of habit that he followed the young waitress with his gaze, but it was strange, he felt guilty doing so. His stare only tore away when Sam dug into her eggs with great effort and sighed. Billy didn't want the thought to cross his mind, but he could have sworn he sensed a bit of jealousy from the Russian. But Sam was quick to correct her behaviour, in fact it seemed she shut down emotionally as she went on between mouthfuls.

“Anyway, I have reason to believe that…. That piece was given to you. Nearly everyday I feel exhausted. When you awake, I can feel myself drain and when I used my abilities…. When I overuse them i find myself with one small reserve of energy, but then I discovered that you look worse. That’s why I need to show my superiors of what i can do. A way around this. This is why we need to go back to Russia after my mission.”

Billy leaned back on the bench, taking a large gulp of his coffee as he pondered. He set the cup down and winced from the bitter hot drink and trailed his gaze out the window. “So the way you’re keeping me alive is your using your own…. Life force?” Sam nodded in affirmation, not like Billy noticed it, but it declared they were on the same page…. So far.

“And the reason you brought me back, I guess, it to prove you’re not just a weapon.” Again Sam nodded. They stayed silent. Neither of them touching their food in case Billy lost his train of thought. Billy leaned his elbows on the table, peering over his mug as he sipped his coffee. “And _IF_ we go to Russia, then what? Do you keep me alive? Do your _superious_ put you on constant life support as they poke and prod me?” The words came out harsh involuntarily, but billy was finding it hard to actually accept this plan as a reality he would choose. It was Soviet Russia for God's Sake!

Sam could understand Billy’s skepticism now that it was said aloud. She had no answers that would satisfy or justify why Billy should go with her, willingly anyway.

It was clear Sam was trying to process that her plan wouldn’t work, and Billy wanted to simplify to her that these people, these _superiors_ of hers were awful people, which even surprised Billy, but it was obvious that they didn’t see Sam as human, they only saw her as a weapon, a number. “Your _superiors_ sent soldiers to kill _kids_ , to kill my _sister_. Anyone who got in the way. They’ll stop at nothing to keep their weapon in check.”

Sam always knew this. She knew they were cold, demanding, powerful. She was used to this world, but when Billy reminded her that they were willing to kill _children_ , she felt her heart ache. Memories wormed their way through her brain. Her siblings. How could she have forgotten. They were only kids. _She_ was only a kid when it all happened.

The pain in her heart grew heavy. Sam felt her eyes getting hot as tears welled. Billy, across from her felt the slightest bit awkward, but Billy used this as a chance to give Sam hope, to give himself hope even. Billy leaned forward to try and get her attention, to look her in the eyes trying to share his own defiance with her. “Fight back Sam.” Her soft brown eyes only met Billy’s when he said her name. In a small moment she felt like a fool for responding to it, but there was also comfort in it. It was _her_. It was her own, It was a name and not just a number.

Sam could have lost herself in Billy’s eyes, but with Billy’s next words, she scoffed and tore them away. “You _can_ fight back. YOu have the power to do it!” Billy almost began raising his voice, as if the answer was obvious and it was frustrating him that she couldn’t see it.

Sam simply shook her head, tears now almost ready to fall. That fateful memory still replaying in her head “it’s not that simple” She felt hopeless. And the more she tried fighting the tears and the memories, the stronger they fought back. Sam couldn’t bear it, she couldn’t let Billy see her vulnerable. Before she could even process it, her body was already moving toward the door.

It was so sudden that Billy had to gather himself and followed after her. He threw two bills on to the table and rushed out. He barely heard the waitress call after him about her tip, and definitely didn’t hear her call him a jackass under her breath.

Billy finally met her at the car. He didn’t understand what was tearing her apart, and it frustrated him more that he felt he couldn’t do anything about it. Billy threw his arms out, opening himself to her and roared “THEN SHOW ME!”

Sam could feel the shame and embarrassment heat her cheeks, she couldn’t even look him in the eye. Sam reluctantly approached Billy, and placed a hand gently to his chest.

Instantly visions invaded his mind, from the diner, to the library, to watching Billy and caring for him as he recovered. It was like watching a movie in reverse at high speed, but Billy could feel _everything_. Then he found himself in a facility.

There were seven children. One he guessed was a much younger Sam. They all had tattoos of numbers on the back of their necks. They were prodded, injected, tested on. They were dismal. Except for when they were in a cafeteria like setting. They would laugh and cry together. Show off the scars from _conditioning_. They would bicker and argue. They only ever looked happy when they were together in this small lunch room. They all had abilities of sores. One could see through walls without opening her eyes. Another could heat objects but only small ones.

One in particular seemed closer to Sam than the rest. He had a five on the back of his neck. He showed Sam his powers like a magic trick. He could light himself on fire without it burning him. He said something in Russian but of course Billy didn’t pick it up. “Vy kogda-nibud' slyshali o samovozgoranii cheloveka?”

Then that scenery all changed. They put an electric collar device around Sam’s neck and ordered her something. She defied them, but they pressed a button on a remote and she convulsed. Soon these large gates opened and was present with the first child. At first she refused but they painstakingly continued to press their finer on the button and she complied.

The child, number One was it, begged and shrieked as they were shredded into dust. Sam broke down. Then they all sat silent away from same in the safe lunch room, except the boy with the five. Again the gates opened. The next one tried fighting Sam, but Sam was more powerful. Dust. Cafeteria with one less kid. The boy still faithfully by her side but silent now. Gates, The attempt of fighting. Dust.

It went like this until it was the boy left. Sam pleaded for him to fight. Hoping he would win so she didn’t have to live with his guilt. But he said something solemnly in Russian “Mne zhal'. YA ne sobirayus' drat'sya s toboy.” Dust and Fire.

Billy gasped for air when he was pulled back to reality. It took him a moment to gaze around and get used to the setting and that’s when he spotted Sam. She faced away from him, sniffling and holding her hand she used close to her chest. Billy could hear words break between sobs. “I just--I just don’t want to be their weapon anymore. I don’t want to be a monster.”

Billy was in two worlds. What happened in those memories was horrific, at first there was the guilty thought that Sam was in fact responsible, but he soon realised and understood that she _was_ from a different world, that she had to survive the only way she knew how, the only way they taught her. She was forced to do these horrendous things. From what he saw, the only love she received was from these other children, albeit what they could understand of it at that age, and after that she was all alone, left to these heartless and cold scientists.

Billy felt his own ache in his chest. The feeling was all too familiar. His best guess was that Sam never looked into Billy’s mind, never intruded to seek out his own dark secrets and past.

Billy approached Sam, he gently took one of her hands and returned it to his chest. “I think there’s something you want to see. We’re not so different.” Sam was reluctant at first but she relaxed her hand onto Billy’s full chest and she understood.

The anger, resentment, that hopeless feeling. The prison Billy made for himself and became someone everyone expected, the asshole, the rebel, the bully. The abuse, abandonment. Sam tore her hand away. There was no use fighting the tears, but at least now she didn’t feel like she was alone.

It was an emotional moment and before Billy could stop himself on time, he found his arms wrapping around Sam. He nearly stopped at just a quick hug when he could feel Sam freeze up underneath him. But instead of letting go, he tightened his arms around her gently and sighed, feeling Sam relax the slightest as she buried her face in his chest.

Billy rubbed her back when he could feel her melt into silent sobs. Billy could have felt awkward, but he always wondered if this is what it was like to be a good person. To be close to someone. Billy sighed and released into the embrace. “Yeah, we both had shitty upbringing’s. But we’ll turn out better than them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian phrases spoken here are:  
> "Have you ever heard of spontaneous human combustion?"  
> "I'm sorry. I'm not going to fight you."


	11. 10. That song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit shorter, but the next will make up for it in not only length! but angst as well! thank you for reading and i hope you guys enjoy!

It wasn’t long until they hit the road again. Billy was stuck in the driver's seat, unknowing where they were actually headed, and to be quite honest, the dark cloud hanging over both their moods, Billy thought it best not to ask Sam as she seemed lost in the passing world, looking too stiff in the passenger seat.

It was very quiet despite the roar of the engine in front of them, but for how heavy the silence was, from the remnants of their memories before, it was also so brittle. One part pf Billy wanted to allow Sam to lose herself, she almost seemed stuck in a catatonic state, but silence was never a way for Billy to cope. He always had to be talking or doing something loud, even if it was the clanging of metal weights.

Without even thinking about it either, Billy’s fingers were drumming on the steering wheel to the beat of a song that wormed into his brain from the diner, like his body was aching to break the silence. At first he couldn’t pinpoint the beat, then an idea struck in his head like lightning to a telegraph pole.

There was this urge, so powerful, to lift the mood. If Billy were smarter, he wouldn’t think about trying to cheer everyone up, he would have thought about crashing the car, hoping the impact would knock the Russian out and he could make a break for it, or maybe even crash and burn with her inside of it. But Billy had this strange addiction. He was so used to seeing Sam angry, blank, or worse yet, sad, that in the small moments, Billy could steal a smile from her. Like he was the only one who was capable of doing it.

It comforted Billy to know that Sam was a human being with a range of emotions, she was young and full of life like him, instead of this Russian killing machine he created in his mind. The most addicting part was that _he_ was the reason for her to smile. Billy managed to break down her iron walls, to render her vulnerable so much that this image he had of Sam at first began chipping away into this other person that even Sam might not even know was there.

It was a thought that made Billy feel strong to be able to turn Sam from this cold weapon into this smiling dream. But it also made him weak, it seized his heart and squeezed, when she was sad. Afraid worried…. It made her pretty. _Beautiful_.

So Billy tried for something he knew would work, tapping more loudly on the steering wheel which still hadn’t shaken Sam’s hazy stare from the window. The song in his head was coming slowly to him, if only he could just see the album cover.

Still Billy persisted to try and get Sam’s attention, leaning across the center console to play with the broken latch of the glove box. Billy figured after they impounded his car and _repaired_ it, to put it loosely, they would have emptied all of the contents and Billy was praying that they weren’t able to open the jammed glove box.

Alas, Billy gave one more aggressive try to the latch, between his efforts he became a bit disheartened that Sam hadn’t even shifted in her seat considering the close proximity of Billy., But as soon as Billy ripped the glove box open, making the muscle car swerve over the road, Sam snapped herself back to reality and with that, the contents of the glove box spilled over her lap and onto the middle seat.

Billy felt a skip in his heart when Sam came to and felt a bit giddy w\as she started lifting the CD cases to look at the album art. It was hard for Billy to hide his smile but it was easier when Sam lifted the album from which the song stuck in his head was from.

Billy pointed to the center console and smirked, giving a sly wink. “Play it. Just like a jukebox only the CD’s are coins.” Sam hesitantly pushed the CD into the slot and waited, eyeing Billy for a reaction as he lit a cigarette and rolled down his window.

Sam first heard the melancholy ring of church bells, and almost jumped at the introduction of the heavy guitar and drums with Billy tossing his head forward to the drop. Sam watched, an expression of bafflements and the slightest hint of a smile pulling at her lips as Billy’s wavy hair made a mess of his face, his hands slamming hard onto the steering wheel making the ash at the end of his cigarette fly off and rush out the window.

Billy finally calmed his antics once the verse of _For Whom The Bells Toll_ began. He felt lucky that he caught a flutter of Sam’s smile before she rushed her stared back to the album. “This is Metallica!” Billy had to raise his voice over the thrashing music. “Figured it’s right up your alley considering your…!” Billy motioned vaguely to Sam “Your new look!”

Billy could see that Sam began to lose focus, or rather, started retreating back into her shell, and Billy felt the panic of that sombre silence and gap between them return, so he tried letting his guard down, which he figured was the only way to connect with her.

“I like it by the way!” Billy nearly yelled again. Success. Ity caught Sam’s puzzled attention. Billy felt like the words were blurted out rather than thought through but they weren’t a lie, he just had trouble being genuine and sweet. But now that Sam’s sharp gaze was on him, he felt a little too vulnerable, like she could see through his words and down to how he actually felt.

“Your look, It’s Pre—!” Billy had to stop himself before he used _that_ word. Despite the word coming naturally, hje felt as though they were wrong, or incorrect. So he tried again. “It’s a nice look on you!” Billy just wanted to look forward now, he didn’t dare make eye contact with those warm brown eyes, otherwise they’d probably burn right through him. Instead Billy wished he stayed quiet.

It was quiet, well, between them for about half a minute, until Sam scoffed. “Dare I say, is that a compliment? Coming from _you_?” Billy felt a wave of cool relief wash over him, like it was cold water splashing over his face. He now knew what he was afraid of. Becoming vulnerable to a person only to be rejected, that things would turn uncomfortable between them.

Billy had to do a double take of Sam while trying to keep an eye on the road. Sam wore a devilish and, could it even be, flirty grin. Billy was truly amazed! Sam was teasing him! Billy couldn’t hold off his smile anymore as it spread ear to ear, he even had to bite his lip to stifle a laugh. As he tore his gaze back onto the road, but still, Sam’s grin burned into the back of his eyelids.

“Don’t get too comfortable with it Russki, you still have a lot to work on. Staring with broadening your musical taste.” Billy motioned Sam to pass another CD and she complied, after staring at a case with the face of a dark haired woman on the front.

Billy, with ease and fast movements, swapped the CD’s out and waited for the track to being, Iut began with a steady bass guitar and Sam listening with interest. Meanwhile, Billy seized up and gripped the steering wheel hard. His bright blue eyes going glossy as they shone in the sunlight and his jaw clenching.

Sam could almost sense it, but she was lost in the song, like she heard it in a dream. The lady from the cover began to sing:

_I feel so bad i got a worried mind_  
I’m so lonesome all the time  
Since I left my baby behind  
On Blue— 

Billy abruptly turned his stereo off before Sam could make out why the song was so familiar. Billy, after hearing the first verse of the song immediately regretted the little music activity. And the silence returned.

It was silence for a good few minutes as they entered the neighbouring town of Hawkins, but this time it was Sam who tried to break the uncomfortable silence. She removed the CD from the stereo to replace it with another , looking at the strange plastic case with bold letters reading _Ozzy Osbourne_.

Sam was just really testing the waters with the music, but not it just seemed too loud, like the music itself was building a wall between them. Billy could feel it too. He could feel himself slowly slip away from Sam and become lost in that void again. Well, not quite, but the loneliness was creeping back slowly and surely.

Billy’s nerves started to go haywire as he reached for the volume to crank it down, so it could just be a comfort background noise as he talked, but that was what made his nerves bunch. Talking. “Sorry. I can’t listen to that song.”

Billy kept his stern gaze forward, he could feel Sam’s curious eyes on him, but he didn’t have the courage to show her what _that_ song did to him. They were nearing the town centre when Sam finally spoke up. “Because of…. Your mother.” Billy licked his lips and raised a hand to halt her before she could go on and quickly, almost in a hiss “Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. We did enough of the whole _sharing feelings_ thing today.”

Despite Sam’s constant stare, Billy paid no mind., In fact, his mind was already overwhelmed and struggled to focus on the road. He gripped the steering wheel hard, making the leather squeak and clenched his jaw. Every time he blinked Billy could see him as a child with his head in his mother’s lapo as she hummed _that_ song to lull him to sleep.

It went back to silence save for the low volume of _Paranoid_ playing from the stereo.They both felt like there was a lake of ice between them, but they could reach each other yet, if only one of them made the push.

Billy pulled into a lot with a row of shops, one being a record store, and killed the engine. Sam almost immediately went for the door as soon as the car came to a halt, she felt like the car started closing in around her when the silence was too strong, like it was a bad smell. But Billy didn’t want to leave them there.

“Hey, Wait!” Billy didn’t take his eyes off the steering wheel when he called for her to stay. Again he didn't want her to see what he was feeling. For a brief moment, Billy was sure that Sam wouldn’t bother listening to him, but Sam froze, waiting if Billy would go on, but she soon realised that he needed her there with him, and so she eased back into the passenger seat and stared cautiously.

Billy breathed in deeply and exhaled. It was another moment of silence but his time it wasn’t unbearable. Sam was patient and she could tell Billy was working up his courage before he finally looked at her and clawed his magnificent blue eyes deep into Sam’s.

“I’m—” Billy was struggling with the words to come out, communication was definitely not his strong suit, but despite how difficult it was, Sam somehow gave him strength. There was a lot he wanted to say, but he knew an apology wasn’t right.

Billy bashfully dropped his eyes and in a husky sincere voice. “Thank you.” Sam was taken aback, surprised and very confused. What could Billy be possibly thanking her for? All she caused him was grief. Sam knitted her brows and cautiously spoke with bafflement “For what?”

Billy scoffed, whether it was out of the same thought as Sam’s or because he thought it would have been obvious. Hearing the unsteadiness in her voice gave Billy confidence again and met her eyes. She really had no idea! Billy licked his lips and bit his bottom lip nervously. He shrugged like his next words were no big deal “For a second chance i guess.”

Billy must have said the right thing because Sam visually relaxed. He could even see her body exhale softly, but for a moment, Billy could see Sam’s eyes flicked with sadness as they dropped to the floor for a split second.

In a second, however, that vanished and Sam immediately perked up and stuck out her hand for a shake. “Well, thank you too.” Billy slowly grasped Sam’s small hand, enveloping his large, rough, hot hand over hers, and before Billy could ask, Sam smiled and shook their hands “For giving _me_ a second chance.”

In that moment, Billy felt stuck, not in a bad way either, he just didn’t want to take his eyes off her. Billy had this intrusive urge, and his brain was slowly putting the idea inside his head to reach his hand forward, grab Sam from the back of her neck and pull her into a violent, sloppy, hungry ki—.

Sam was lightning fast with her motions as she turned away and exit the car with such speed and finesse that it felt like she could read billy’s m,mind. Billy felt a bit flushed and hard to even his breathing before he followed after her into the music store.

Of course Billy felt a bit of shame with those thoughts of Sam, but the worst shame was this feeling of rejection. Like she never had that same thought of him., But little did Billy know was that Sam had struggled herself to keep that thought at bay. In fact, she was so unsure what to do with it and the handshake, them holding that intimate gesture and feeling the warmth of his hands had become a mistake. And she became flustered so she panicked and rushed out of the car.


	12. 11. These Feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BUCKLE UP!!! because this is one damn long chapter!!! first and foremost, there is mention/implication of physical abuse. secondly, thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy!

Sam was eager to get out of the car and make a bit of distance between herself and Billy. She became inexplicably nervous around him all because of that one thought. Once she was inside the music store, she exhaled and relaxed.

It was large inside with rows and rows of CD’s, Vinyls and tapes all categorised into genres. Sam hadn’t noticed, but as soon as she barged in, making the door chime ravenously, the clerk and a group of girls in the pop section averted their attention onto her. The girls scoffed and snickered to themselves, judging Sam’s style, but the clerk on the hand hand was transfixed.

Sam hadn’t taken notice of any other living thing in the store but lost herself among the rows of music, enthralled by all the album art. Meanwhile, Billy slowly made his way inside. This time the chime of the door only alerted the group of girls Billy’s age, and they looked him up and down hungrily.

Billy however, despite years of being a lady killer and never turned down a good stare at a group of girls, had ignored _their_ stares at first. Instead he kept an eye on Sam, trying to pick up any sign of being discomfort of him being there, until the clerk approached her casually. Billy felt wary of the young man, he was dressed in rugged clothes, a worn out band tee that you couldn’t even make out the artist’s emblem, a brown flannel and a patchy denim jacket, band emblems and strange icons sewn into the jacket. The young man’s hair is what really made Billy think he was trouble, it was a bright green and gelled into messy spikes.

Billy watched the young clerk interact with Sam from afar, and felt triumphant at Sam’s initial reaction to the clerk. The clerk approached Sam from behind and played the polite and friendly retail worker. Once Sam was aware of his presence, she turned around and went wide eyed from the boy’s hair.

But Billy wasn’t at all expecting Sam’s next reaction and felt himself burning up with anger. Sam reached out and played with the boy’s hair as they both shared a laugh. Billy could see from the otherside of the store that small friendly customer and store assistant devolved into flirting and the green haired boy inviting her out somewhere.

It was making Billy seethe as he watched the two, Sam was smiling brightly to the young guy as he talked. It was eating Billy from the inside out, and lighting him on fire all at once. Out of the anger Billy also felt betrayal. At first he wasn’t sure how to describe it but betrayal was the best fit. He ignored his rational mind when it was trying to convince Billy that Sam was smiling out of politeness, because he knew there was something off about Sam’s smile now, it looked too staged, like when people tell you to smile for a photo, and regardless of what you’re feeling you oblige to that command. But Billy wasn’t thinking of that, he was thinking as to why Sam smiled for this guy she barely knew.

Billy’s expression immediately dropped from a smirk to a scowl as the interaction went on, he found himself clenching his fists and his jaw as he watched. After a certain time, Billy hadn’t taken notice of the group of girls that had approached him. As they started to talk to him, Billy began to run on auto-pilot as thoughts revved in his mind. _I can’t believe Sam is just smiling and laughing with him. He doesn’t even know shit about her!_

The girls had tried chatting up with Billy, but all they got were short answers. The ringleader of the girls finally took notice of Billy’s intense stare on the pair at the other side of the shop. She scoffed “You can do better than that”. The response that came from Billy was only half automated as he whispered more to himself with anger and sadness, like he was speaking his most inner thoughts, he wasn’t even really expecting the response to come from him as his mouth made the movements “She’s already doing better than me.”

The ring leader piped up again with a bit of confusion “What? With my brother?” She scoffed and went on “Is she your ex or something?” “What --No!” At last Billy averted his gaze and looked quizzically at the girl, wondering what gave her that idea as if his statement wasn’t even said aloud, and staring at Sam from afar.

However, Billy knew a way out of these emotions, despite the fact that he only got them when a girl he was dating was talking to another guy and it didn’t matter who the guy was to her, Billy was always quick to enrage and get jealous. Billy’s solution to his jealousy was to make the other party jealous. He quickly flipped the switch from annoyed and envious to charming and mysterious.

Billy turned his full attention to the ring leader but stood with a strategic view of Sam fro when she notices. Billy took in the appearance of the girl, and Billy thought she wasn an easy target, a target he was very accustomed to, the _Rich Daddy’s Girl_ , a snob who only liked whatever was popular but still chic. These types of girls, Billy thought, were always looking for some kind of troubled guy that showed them the wild side and danger opposing their mundane , routine life of material. A troubled, mysterious guy that they could eventually tame and settle down, trapping him in the same mundane routine her parents had.

But Billy was much too wild, much too dangerous and much too trouble to ever settle down with the likes of them, so he used them like they used him, Billy made it obvious to look her up and down, locking his grinning lips and cocked his head, leaning nonchalantly on the music stand. If she’s too good for me, you think that you can be bad enough for me?” Billy finished his sentence with a wink, half amusing himself with how easy this was as the other girls swooned.

However, through his efforts, Billy’s eyes would flicker up to Sam and that _Schmuck_ as she paid absolutely no mind to Billy, freely laughing and smiling away. This churned Billy’s guts and put a foul taste in his mouth as he turned bitter. But still, he had to remain sweet for these girls.

But the ring leader wasn’t fooled, nor did she really care about Billy’s diverted attention because she was confident that she would have him, because she always gets what she wants. The ring leader leaned close to whisper into Billy’s ear “You think I'm that easy Lover boy? I can see what you’re trying to do… and I can make that happen.”

Surely Billy didn’t think he made it _that_ obvious? He was a bit stunted when the girl pulled away with a devilish smirk. Of course the smile would have worked on any other guy, but all Billy could think was that it wasn’t as enticing as Sam’s grin.

Billy licked his lips and gave a fake nervous laugh. He was completely unaffected by what this girl called _charm_. “And by the way my brother Jared and I are having a party, you should come.” The lead girl rang out, cocking her head toward the green haired clerk, and winked as if they were carrying that subject the whole time. Billy finally picked up what she was playing at when he saw the girls eyes flicker to Sam and the clerk, Jared approach them.

Billy half turned to take notice and replied quickly “Be sure to see you there….” Billy gave a pause for the girl to insert her own name. “Rebecca” Billy winked “--Beck”. The exchange of course was meant to be overheard as Sam had approached Billy.

However, all of Billy’s efforts of making Sam jealous were in vain as she swooped into Billy’s side, on an obvious high after speaking with the clerk. She smiled brightly up to Billy and Billy was conflicted about whether he should be annoyed at her or share the smile as well. Bit he stayed on a medium ground and fluttered his long eyelashes with a blank expression waiting for her to talk. “Jay invited me-- us to a party Billy!”

It was hard for Billy to stay angry, exhausting even when Sam had said his name with such an excited voice, but nonetheless, Billy narrowed his fierce blue eyes at Sam’s correction, and he aimed them at the clerk. “So this is _Jared_ ” there was a clear use of sting to using the clerk's name. “I’ve heard a bit about you” Billy continued, not hiding his distaste at all. Kared, or Jay cocked his head with a senile smirk that showed no amusement. “Strange, didn’t hear a thing about you.” Billy gritted his teeth at the clerks response, laughing dryly wetting his lip, Billy had to admit he was good.

Rebecca, or Beck, had grown tired of this masculinity showdown and grabbed a notepad from her pursed and wrote on the paper in neat cursive. “Anyway, here’s my address.” She ripped the piece out and looked Sam up and down with a scowl as she went on. “Feel free to bring…. Some baggage.”

Sam’s mood had immediately turned cold, first she could spy that this girl had added a few hearts and a winking face to the address, and her hostile attitude towards Sam made Sam sneer at the girl when she made her move to leave with her entourage. “Rather be somebody’s baggage than a disposable accessory.” Sam said flatly, finishing it off with giving the group the fork. Everyone was a bit shocked at the response, Rebecca’s group audibly gasped. But rebecca liked the challenge. The most surprised was Billy as he widened his eyes at Sam’s comeback and vulgar gesture, wondering where on earth did hse learn that.

Rebecca smiled sourly, but she still had one more twist up her sleeve. She leaned in as she passed Billy and pecked him on the cheek, never taking her eyes off Sam as she did. “See you there Billy” and left the store. The three of them stood in silence until lJay huffed and turned to Sam. “So, I’ll see you there? And don’t worry, I have some of my friends coming, they’re more…. Your crowd.”

Sam of course was fuming. She had the heated thought of turning that entire group into nothing and in that moment of Jay waiting for a response, the lights in the store began to flicker. She was filled with so much rage but she also argued with herself. _Why should I be angry?_

Billy, came closer to Sam, the traces of jealousy were still there for as long as Jared was present, but his main concern was Sam losing her temper now and in an instant, Sam turned to Jay with an enthusiastic smile “Of course! I can’t wait!”

Billy, however, had suddenly had other plans and narrowed his eyes to the clerk. “Yeah, we’ll see” It was almost an outburst and Sam scoffed, marching out of the store with a chip on her shoulder. Billy followed after her with the same attitude, lighting a cigarette, taking a long drag as he approached Sam who was trying to get into the locked Camaro.

“What the Hell was that?” Billy nearly shouted. Sam threw her arms in the air defeated “What? That I wanted to have fun and socialise? I want to feel normal and wanted?” Billy could hear the crack in her voice, it shot an icy arrow through his stomach, but his anger and jealousy ran hot enough to weld that wound shit, but the pain was still burning him from the mention of being wanted.

“No! Dipshit! The lights! I know that was you!” It was of course a concern for Billy, but they both knew that wasn’t the issue at hand, he was really flaring up about, but Billy wasn’t going to admit to those emotions. Not even to himself. “I cut you loose, you stop using your powers. You made a deal.” Sam scoffed, it was evident that she had hot tears welling up, but she refused for them to fall now. She was too angry, too sad, and she didn’t want to show that Billy made her feel like this.

“That’s what you really want to scold for?” Sam let the question han in the air and went on “And as far as I’m concerned, _we_ made a deal. You cut me loose…. So just… let me go.” Sam almost sounded exhausted whispering the words.

Those words…. They struck a nerve, they plunged a knife in Billy’s gut and twisted. Not only for his anger, but letting go was always the hardest thing for Billy. He tried hiding this onset of sadness, of betrayal and jealousy behind anger and annoyance, like _he_ responsible for _her_. Billy could have apologised for his behaviour, seeing how hurt she was was causing him more pain, but Billy was too stubborn, and still he denied why he kept feeling these strong emotions.

“You want me to let you go? So you can go to this party where you know nobody except for a guy that obiously just wants to fuck you? Let’s not forget we’re trying to lay low and not have another shit show!” Billy gritted his teeth and took another long drag. “Sam, I’m trying, even thought I _shouldn’t_ give a shit, to keep our fucking heads, so we, mostly you, don’t get caught.”

Billy couldn’t see Sam relax and he didn’t even realise what he said, almost ignored it even, but Sam wouldn’t let Billy off that easy. “And why do you give a shit Billy?” Billy was caught off guard. He paced on the spot and took another long drag to stall, to try and come up with something that didn’t make him look soft.

Sam waited, watching as Billy tried his damned hardest not to meet her gaze, that sharp stare that cut through him and stared at his soul. He would only briefly flicker his fierce blue eyes to hers, not daring to hold eye contact least Sam’s eyes catch him like a deer in headlights.

Billy scoffed and knitted his brows “Because….” he said it like Sam already knew the answer, and in a way, she would have, if either of them could ever cope with emotions, but considering their past trauma’s and their ill preparedness to cope with them, there was no way they could admit it not even to themselves.

Billy stomped his foot into the floor like he was a bull taking charge, it was yet another way to stall, or to fiddle and distract Sam from Billy’s words as he went on. “Because you’re alright to hang around.” Which it wasn’t a lie, Billy did really enjoy Sam’s company, especially with the more he got to know her, or rather that he was going on this journey of self discovery with her.

Sam was lucky that she narrowed her eyes when Billy wasn’t looking, otherwise he would have reverted back to an angry and explosive self but this Billy… amused Sam. He was bashful, just like when he was in the car, before the whole record store incident played out.

But still, there was something Sam suspected Billy was keeping from her, in this case it hadn’t bothered her. She was grateful that they kept certain things to themselves least this…. Dynamic became complicated. In the small instant she looked away, Sam couldn’t help the smile coming to her lips, but Billy had caught sight of it and he felt that flutter in his stomach.

“What?” Billy tried hiding his own smile behind his angry fascare, but it came out twisted and it was obvious he was feigning his foul mood now. How could Billy stay angry when Sam had that bright genuine smile on her face. Sam just shook her head and stifled a giggle. “Inogda ty mozhesh' byt' takim pridurkom”

Hearing the Russian words it wa sa lot easier for Billy to be annoyed now, but the foreign language had now become somewhat amusing for him. He licked his lips playfully and cocked his head to Sam. “Sorry, didn’t quite catch that. Almost sounded like you were were speaking that weird commie language, like you were a spy or something.”

Sam tried hiding her smile as she motioned for the passenger door again. “I said, I like your company too Billy” and rolled her eyes. Billy pursed his lips and nodded enthusiastically, not trying very hard at all to hide the smile on his lips now spreading now, especially with the Sam saying his name.

Billy took another long drag from his cigarette and paced to the driver’s side and unlocked the Camaro, winking to Sam over the roof of the car “Yeah, I fucking bet.” Sam couldn’t help but be infected by his smirk. She rolled her eyes again.

This small interaction had really given them high hopes for their dynamic. They both felt like they could really get along, despite always being at each other’s throats. They actually started to feel like friends. But and observer would have stated otherwise the way they locked eyes for a moment too long as they were preparing to enter the car.

Unfortunately, that small moment was short lived as the door to the record store swung open and the green haired young man almost skipped to Sam as her face seemed to brighten. Billy immediately noticed the different attention this guy got and that pang of jealousy struck it’s chord again, and through clenched teeth Billy was the first to acknowledge him. “Hey _Jared_ ” emphasizing his name with poison.

Jared simply side glanced Billy and ignored him as he held out a paper shopping bag for Sam. “Sorry is he your boyfriend?” Jared asked without even looking at Billy, this whole scenario seemed a bit weird to Jared, and he was an outsider looking in and could have sworn the way Sam and Billy interacted indicated that they were close, _very_ close for Billy to get so protective and snarky when he was around.

Sam and Billy looked at each other with a panic on their faces, twisted into a weird grimace. Billy was the first to object, flustering his words out “What--No asshole she’s--she’s just an exchange student.” Sam _had_ to admit that was a good lie, but strange for her, as a small part of her felt crushed, especially with the use of the word _just_.

Sam wanted to roll her eyes, but as soon as Jared started talking all the annoyance was swept away. “Oh my God, this whole time we were talking and i can’t believe I didn’t ask about your accent! Where are you from?” Sam opened her mouth to answer, but it was Billy’s voice that ran out and they both scowled at him, but Billy remained blank faced. “German. What the hell’s in the bag Kermit?”

Jared cocked his head to Billy and squared his shoulders “It’s for Sam asshole. And if you don’t mind, I think she can speak for herself. Bootleg Bret Michaels.” Billy gritted his teeth at the clerks response, and he really wished he could walk over to him and kick the shit out of the kid, but it wasn’t just because this guy was quick with his responses, it was the way he was so open to Sam and that Sam was relishing it.

“It was all for clearance anyway but I figured you’d need some real music to listen to. And i added a little gift for you to share at the party tomorrow night” The clerk winked and Sam beamed brightly, even pulling him into a tight hug.

For Sam it was a bit foreign to her, but she was so excited and nobody had ever given her a gift before. She couldn’t contain the joy that she felt as she thanked him. Jared felt a bit overwhelmed but he passed it off as a european thing. Meanwhile, Billy from across the car was nearly frothing, beaming at them and he didn’t do much to hide his annoyance as he tore the driver door open and demanded Sam to get in.

After that hug, Sam didn’t care for Billy’s foul attitude, she was on a high from the kindness and interest of Jared. She dropped into the passenger seat with a bounce and Billy turned the key, roaring the engine alive and revved the car loudly making the clerk step back a bit as he waved Sam goodbye.

Billy pulled the gear back to reverse the car aggressively, making it slide over the concrete and sped off down the road where they came from. Once the building of the small town started to gain more distance between each other, Billy started to press his foot further down on the accelerator and they sed through the countryside.

Sam could tell Billy was angry, it wasn’t just because he squeezed the steering wheel so hard it made his knuckles white, or the fact that the muscles in his jaw protrude as he clenched it hard. It was simply just such a powerful radiation that Sam could even feel the temperature inside begin to climb.

Already, they were halfway back to their motel thanks to Billy’s enraged speeding and soon enough, Sam’s high started to come down as Billy’s foul mood infected her. Billy almost punched the stereo to turn off the music and licked his lips before tossing his icy gaze aggressively towards Sam. “What the hell was that Sam?”

Sam scoffed, just as they were finally getting on good ground, it just disappears beneath them. Sam didn’t even bother responding to Billy’s demanding question. “Seriously. You don’t know that asshole! So what the fuck are you doing talking to him like that? Pulling that kinda shit is what’s gonna get us caught!”

It wasn’t unlike Billy to lose his temper, but it surprised even himself that he was going off like this, especially when he was fully aware it was out of jealousy and he didn’t want to admit it to himself but also the fear of abandonment, Sam had also suspected his jealousy but at this point she was growing tired of dancing around this unresolveable issue.

This time it was Sam’s turn to go off. “Pulling what shit Billy? Talking? Being friendly? As far as I know that wasn’t a problem until you saw that he has an interest in me, so what’s the real issue here?” This outburst had caused both of their emotions to flare and the radio began to static and their noses began to drop red, but neither had noticed with both their anger burning hot.

The motel was in sight now, but neither of them were ready to let this go. Billy scoffed and burst back “Oh because you’re _so talkative and friendly!_ ” Billy swerved into the lot and came to a sudden halt as he shouted on before he killed the engine as it roared with him. “The only reason it pisses me off is because these guys only have an interest because you’re hot!” Sam felt her chest tighten and fury well up in her throat as she spewed back “And what!? It tears you apart because they don’t know me like you do!?” And without missing a beat Billy shouted back “Yes!”

Billy didn’t even try and hold his words, his anger had taken control and spoke with the harsh truth, even if it was cruel for himself. But as soon as the words ran in the air as everything went silent, even the remnants of that low frequency hum of Sam’s powers. Billy dropped his head backwards onto the head rest and pinched the brim of his nose, the slightest hint of a headache beginning and also to hide the embarrassment of his words.

The small minute of silence between themselves like an eternity and eerily quiet. They sat there frozen until Billy felt a thick droplet fall onto his chest. He cursed to himself as he snapped his head forward to finally notice a significant mess of blood on his chest and stomach from just a nosebleed. “Shit--” He whispered, turning the rearview mirror toward himself to show his face a carnage of blood.

Billy found this as good an escape from having to take responsibility for what he admitted in that argument . He frantically tried to wipe the blood away with his t-shirt but the blood already drenched in the shirt made the blood spread, so Billy stripped his torso and used his denim jacket.

“Fuck” Billy rasped again as he managed to wipe away most of the mess. He swung his door open and hopping out “I'm gonna take a shower” but his tone had rang a different message in Sam’s head as she sat there, still angry, but also surprise and left to process their argument alone, she heard the fear and the wish for him to be alone and away from her.

It was lucky that Billy hadn’t heard Sam’s scoff least he would have blew up again, Instead, he was focused on trying to open the trunk with yet another broken latch, All the while his words still ringing in his head. It began to infuriate him even more, that he couldn’t just keep his mouth shut, and the third try on the broken latch hadn’t improved his mood either as he planted his clenched fist into the metal over and over again, leaving a dent on the top.

Billy only stopped to catch his breath, leaning on the car with his hands tangle in his wavy locks. It all infuriated him, the latch, his nosebleed, his own anger, his lack of skill in coping, these feelings. All he wanted to do was to check if his leather jacket was still in the trunk.

As if she heard Billy’s silent thoughts, Sam gripped the latch on an awkward angle and jerked downwards instead of up, as Billy was doing. Billy didn’t hear Sam get out of the car, let alone come to his side. He watched the trunk open slowly as it revealed the familiar leather jacket, he tossed it over his shoulders and slid his arms through, Feeling the comfortable weight it eased his mind and Billy whispered in a raspy voice “Thanks” before he made off to the motel room.

Sam had watched Billy until he was out of sight in the motel room and she started for the payphone. There was still remnants of her anger as she lifted the phone to her ear and hovered her fingers over the buttons, but she froze. Sam found herself with no reason to call her Superiours at all. Despite her anger towards the enraging Billy, his words had rung in her head from earlier that morning.

Yet she found butterflies in her stomach as she slowly returned the phone to it’s holder. It was almost exhilarating going against a motion she had done dozens of times before, something she was obliged to do. It was scary for Sam of course to go against the grain, but that defiant stare Billy had given her that morning gave her strength and she closed the distance of the phone and its hook, making a loud, and triumphant sound.

Sam stared at the phone, waiting, expecting it to ring, and she would pick up, her Superiors asking why she didn’t call them. But nothing ever came. She stepped away slowly, watching it like it would jump at her in any second.

Once she made a bit of distance between her and the payphone, Sam took notice of her heart hammering in her chest. She exhaled the breath she forgot she was holding and it soon turned into a laugh only meant for her. She took a few more steps back and turn around toward the Camaro with no remnants of anger left. Sam picked up the paper bag that Jared had given her and bounced her way to the motel room.

\---

The main reason Billy wanted the jacket was so he just wasnèt walking past the motel office with no shirt and bloodied clothes in one hand. But having the jacket on now proved a lot more comfort than just not seeming like a serial killer.

Billy made quickly for the motel room, slamming the door shut behind him, He felt like his thoughts were chasing him, snapping at his heels, and if he stopped for a second they would swallow him whole, than he would he forced to feel everything again.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Billy stripped his leather jacket and neatly hung it on the chair, but with the rest of his clothes, he tore them off like they suffocated him, and proceeded to peel his bandages off in a hurry, wincng at the pain of skin pulling.

Once the last bandage was off, he spotted a CD radio and cranked the volume all the way up, letting the thrashing music block out the thoughts and jumped in the shower. It was such a sweet relief, feeling the hot water wash the remaining blood and cleaning his wounds despite the water seering the fresh flesh.

Billy steadied himself with both hands against the wall underneath the shower head, water soaking through his locks as the water found its way over his face. Billy closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, relaxing his body from all the built up tension during the day.

Billy even tried not to think of _her_ , he was afraid that any thought of Sam would just make him more angry, but before he could stop his mind from wandering, it was too late. Billy found himself picturing her smile and replaying her laugh to calm his nerves.

Billy let a rumble of laughter from his chest and shook his head, cooing to himself “She’s driving me nuts.” His words weren’t out of malice, quite the opposite, he spoke fondly and found it even more amusing as he let himself into a full cackle.

Despite everything, Billy found it ridiculous, no matter how much Sam infuriated him, how jealous he got, he would put up with all of it just for her company, just to be there to witness those smiles she does when she thinks no one is looking, or to witness those small flickers of sadness in her eyes, to be there to calm her when she was angry.

Billy leaned his head back to let the water run over his face and smiled bitterly, “You sorry son of a bitch.”

\---

Sam slowly opened the door to the motel room. Of course she hadn’t forgotten the argument they had and wanted to be cautious as not to startle Billy, but when she peered inside, there was nobody in the room. The small dingy CD radio had been cranked to full volume which had fuelled the anxiety flaring up in her mind, ignoring Billy’s leather jacket laid out neatly on the chair and the mess of clothes leading to the bathroom.

Thoughts had shot through her brain and left precise bullet holes, opening wounds as she looked about the small room frantically. Could that last fight be the final straw for Billy? Could he have abandoned her again?

However, this wasn’t the case. There was still one more place to check, and she would have heard the shower running if not for the music blaring in her ear inducing a minor panic attack. Sam didn’t even consider that Billy would need a bit of privacy, but her fear of being alone had over written the fact that Billy had enjoyed his privacy, or rather was accustomed to it, where Sam had learnt very little of it.

So Sam barged the door open, mostly expecting no one to be in the bathroom, but she felt relief as Billy jumped. He was shutting the water off and was only holding a tower loosely over his groin.

Billy was quick to tighten his grip over the towel and closer to his body to cover up as he jolted. Sam just stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame as she flattened her palm over her forehead for relief. Billy just looked at her bewildered and annoyed “Jesus fucking Christ Sam! Get out!”

Sam obliged happily, calmly closing the door and fell backwards onto the bed and breathed, calming her nerves. Meanwhile Billy was trying to remain annoyed as he dried himself off. As he looked in the mirror, he tried convincing himself that his flushed freckled cheeks were from the hot shower, but he wasn’t buying it.

Billy leaned over the sink and shook his head, laughing to himself. For a second, Billy had no idea why he was laughing, but when he picked his head back up to stare in the mirror and shae the towel over his head to dry his locks, it was like he was shaking he answer from himself.

Billy was amused, because he pieced together that Sam looked worried, disheveled, fearful even before she laid eyes on him. Fair enough he obviously was naked and afraid, but the look on Sam’s face, thinking that Billy had disappeared again had felt odd. It was a new feeling to have someone worry about you, but nonetheless, Billy enjoyed the look on Sam’s face when relief washed over her at the sight of him as well.

As he stared in the mirror, he paused and transfixed on his necklace, remembering the day he received it. The small medal pendant flickered in the dim light as the Virgin Mother dangling from his neck. Billy wasn’t a big believer in anything really, but when he forced himself back to that night where his heart stopped beating, _She_ was there.

The Virgin Mary had knelt over his body, with the neon light shining above her head like a halo, the sharp shower of light acting as a veil. The Holy mother had come to perform a miracle, to give redemption to Billy with Sam as her vessel.

Billy bitterly laughed to himself, despite the necklace holding a lot of sad memories, it also held the last happy memories he had with his mother. Billy glanced around the small bathroom, trying to remember if he brought a change of clothes.

He cursed himself when he remember he didn’t even had a pair of jeans to slip into she he could look around the motel room, feeling a bit shy while Sam was out there. Billy was in such a hurry to clear his mind that it felt like he factory reset.

Billy kissed his teeth and put on a confident face. He swung the bathroom door open and began to look around the room for anything. When Billy first emerged from the bathroom he was full of confidence, taking long strides, but as soon as he felt Sam’s gaze on him, Billy felt himself internally shrink and struggled to remain confident.

Once Billy even became a little self conscious, the only way he coped was to get defensive. He side glanced Sam to confirm she was still staring. She was. Billy felt his cheeks burn ip but he’d have to quickly say something before it became obvious.

Luckily for Billy, he spotted a pair of black jeans he managed to snatch from the Salvation Army when he went with Sam and a spare tank top. He quickly scooped them ip and looked directly at Sam and opened his arms with attitude. “What?” Billy demanded. Of course Billy’s first thought as to why Sam was staring was because she had something to say or that there was something wrong with Billy’s appearance, he immediately ruled out that Sam had any same thought that Billy had of her, giving this new attention to _Jared_ , to which he became disheartened of course, he channelled into hostility towards the girl.

But Billy soon discovered the contrary. Billy narrowed his eyes suspiciously when Sam had averted her gaze, and Billy could have sworn he saw the hint of a blush on her cheeks. Sam couldn’t even come up with a lie, she wandered her eyes as if the boring motel wallpaper had secret passages written into the, She shook her head and shrugged.

Billy almost didn’t notice the smile sneaking onto his lips with a provocative thought. _Was Sam just…. Checking me out?_ But Billy was quick to wipe both the smile and thought away. Surely not. Billy wasn’t even sure if Sam even knew about the _Birds and the Bees_ let alone understanding the whole idea behind _checking someone out_.

Billy scoffed that he could even fathom doing that and returned to the bathroom to change. Despite Sam changing in front of him, albeit very on in this…. Dynamic wasn’t the right word but Billy didn’t want to admit that what Sam and Billy had was a relationship of sorts, a partnership or a rather a contract.

Billy was more than aware that things were changing, warping, he was beginning to see SAm differently and Billy didn’t want to notice it or think about it, but he had a feeling it was the same for her.

In fact, Billy started to get a bit shy around Sam, not just with changing. Her touch incited goosebumps across his flesh, locking eyes was even harder, even without her powers, to Billy it felt like she could see everything he felt if they shared a gaze.

Billy closed the door softly behind him and exhaled. His heart fluttered, like how he used to get butterflies before a basketball game. Billy quietly jumped on the spot to try and redirect blood flow, try and get it to flow anywhere but _there_. Once his small dance finished, Billy quickly shot his legs in the jeans, but sudden use of force caused his muscles to bulge in uncomfortable areas and he winced.

Billy leaned close to the mirror and inspected his wounds. Billy kissed his teeth when fresh red began to seep. At first Billy tried dressing his wounds himself, but he knew the angles were much too awkward to reach and bit the bullet.

On one hand, Billy didn’t want to ask Sam simply to save face, but there was the small devil on Billy’s shoulder that wanted to feel the rush of Sam ghosting her skin across his own. Billy must have thought about it long and hard because he leaned over the sink, losing himself in thought staring at his wounds in the reflection until his knuckles went white and soar.

Billy blinked himself back to the present, licked his lips and whispered to himself “fuck it”. Of course Billy didn’t want it to be awkward between them, he wanted them to just stay at that bickering dynamic where they barely got along because it was just so much simpler, less complicated, less nerve wracking. Billy wasn’t technically in control of the situation then, but he was at least somewhat in control of his emotions.

So Billy slipped back into his most comfortable self by playing the arrogant jerk. Billy straightened himself, exhaled and tore the door open. He spotted Sam who had barely moved from the spot he left her in, and he leaned against the door frame, cocked his head “I need you in here, to fix the damage you did Russki.”

Sam obliged, being careful not to act too eager, but what was she to do? Sam had a pretty good idea that Billy couldn’t do it himself, least he wouldn’t have asked, and of course she felt incredibly guilty for causing the harm.

Sam entered the tiny bathroom, Billy sitting on the sink seemed to only make the room shrink and Sam was starting to regret it, especially that she had to be in such close proximity to Billy. It especially didn’t help that Billy was manspreading and almost trapping Sam in between his legs to tend to his wounds. Of course it wasn’t Billy’s intention to make Sam feel that way, he was struggling himself to pretend he was comfortable.

Once Sam managed to set up shop, she made swift work to Billy’s torso. The wounds were still a bit fresh, and still discharge was there, but none were too serious. It was hard to keep focus. She felt the burn of Billy’s incredible blue eyes followed her every move, and the heat that radiated from him was enough to make Sam sweat.

The deafening silence was the worst part. Neither of them made a sound since Sam got to work, every so often she’d flicker her eyes to his necklace, Sam even forgot to breathe. For some reason she felt like it was wrong to breathe this close to Billy, as if she would unwillingly take in his scent and overstep a boundary, feeling like it was too intimate.

It was terrifying when Billy finally broke the sielnce, because it was as if he was the one reading her mind now. “Are you breathing there Russki?” Sam immediately audibly exhaled and rolled her eyes.

When she put her hands back to work again, her fingertips found there way to the small piece of metal around Billy’s neck. A sudden flash of that same woman from before had appeared. The woman smiled as the boy played with the same piece of jewellery. Then the memories flashed to the woman again, she left a small box on the boy’s night table as he slept, kissed his forehead and bid him farewell. 

The only reason Sam was transported to the present was because Billy had snatched her wrists. Sam was wide eyed as she saw Billy clenching his teeth and breathing heavy. “Sorry” it was a faint whisper as Sam quivered her bottom lip. Again the silence came back like the tide to a shore.

Until it was yanked away again after a short time by Billy. “You’re not used to being this close to someone huh, Russki?” The question had caught Sam a bit off guard and she fluttered her eyes to Billy's, clear annoyance in them from Billy analysing her. Billy wasn’t phased and went on “To be quite honest me neither. Except for-- you know.” Billy gestured his hand awkwardly but Sam didn’t follow.

Billy wasn’t sure if Sam even really knew about what most people did at their age and tried giving her a few more hints with more awkward hand gestures. “You know…. Bump uglies-- knock boots.” At this point Sam gave up trying to understand and was aiming to continue patching Billy up, but Billy was bewildered that Sam was completely oblivious and narrowed it down to just the language barrier and went for a more direct approach. “Like fuck-- have sex.”

Sam inhaled sharply “--Well, ok. You’re done!” She pushed passed his legs and hurried out of the bathroom, instructing him as she did “You’ll have to change your bandages before sleep. Just make sure you have clean hands.”

Billy sat on the sink a bit stunted. Sure he was a bit crass, but Billy also thought that maybe Sam overreacted? As he sat there to think about it, Billy pinched the bridge of his nose and realised it must have looked and sounded so bad coming from him. Billy felt embarrassed to think that he was asking Sam for sex.

The worst timing had come as his stomach grumbled and Billy had almost forgotten they only had breakfast today. It took a moment for Billy to gather himself, remembering that tidal wave of a memory. He gripped his necklace and kissed it, a small token to give him the courage before facing the embarrassment in the motel room.

Billy moved quickly, he grabbed a small bundle of money and headed toward the door, he stopped short, remembering what happened last time, moments before, as Sam thought he abandoned her. “I’m just gonna grab us some food.”

He gripped the door handle with confidence but there was a certain emotion in Sam’s eyes as she narrowed them to Billy. It wasn’t just distrust, no. Billy could sense something deeper, more primal.

And then it hit him. Billy was all too familiar with that feeling. It was fear. Fear of abandonment. Fear of losing someone. But why? Billy wracked his brain, standing here at the door trying to justify her fear. Billy gave in at the end, it started to slowly corrupt his head with pain. And with the resurrection of the memory Sam had pried from his mind, Billy felt like he had another fresh wound.

Billy approached Sam, removing his necklace and hung it around her neck with such delicacy, you could have sworn it was made from crystal and worth thousands rather than just a chain with a pendant you could easily buy for $70. But for Billy, it was worth more.

Sam was frozen. From the moment Billy had regained consciousness from death, Sam knew how prized his necklace was. So she couldn't piece as to why Billy would just give it up, was it a trick so she would trust Billy?

Billy moved to the door and pointed a finger with warning at Sam before he left her stunted for words. “I’m coming back for that, so don’t fucking lose it. And take a shower. You stink.” Sam merely blinked. At first, of course Sam doubted Billy’s words, but when she began to play with the small pendant she began to see the entire memory.

The woman had a fresh black eye and busted lip. She knelt over her sleeping son’s bed. She stroked the boy’s hair and kissed him on the forehead. “May she protect you better than I ever could. I’m so sorry Billy. I love you.” The woman stood, removed the necklace and from her neck and delicately placed it on the boys night table. And she left.

When Sam came to, she found a single hot tear roll down her cheek. Sam felt a sudden gratitude and guilt. Sam felt ashamed that she doubted Billy, thinking after he had promised he would stay, he would sure abandon her again. But Sam knew now, that Billy wouldn’t want anyone to live with the same pain he did.

Sam felt a sudden energy spike through her body from the thought of trusting Billy wholeheartedly. She bounced up and rummaged through the paper shopping bag Jared had given her. It took her a second to work out the CD player, but once she popped the CD in, feeling the rift of the guitar and drums of _Fat Bottom Girls_ move her, she headed to the bathroom and took Billy’s advice on a shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian phrase spoken here:  
> "Sometimes you can be such a shithead"


	13. 12. The Day Bleeds Into Nightfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought i'd give myself a little birthday present and post!!! thank you for reading and i hope you guys enjoy. Also first and foremost, there is a slur in this chapter f****t, it's not pleasant and i cringed writing it myself, so i apologize for that. as per normal Russian phrases are down below!

Billy found himself at the same diner from breakfast. It was a very short drive there but he cranked the volume up on his car stereo to block out the thoughts still chasing him from the motel.

Sam’s expression was still burning hot in his mind from when Billy left her. Her brown eyes, so warm and almost innocent in that moment, staring at him large. Billy could almost see that his necklace had weighed so heavy on Sam, it carried so much, Billy had carried so much of its weight through the years. But…. It felt good to give it up, to share some of that weight with someone else. To let go.

When Billy killed the engine, he invited a moment of silence. Billy let his thoughts catch up with him, letting them in. Letting go of this tension he didn’t know was ringing taught around him. Billy pondered why he had to keep everything restrained. It genuinely felt good to let these thoughts rove around his mind, why he was jealous, why it gutted him when Sam gave these guys the time of day, why it hollowed him when Sam acknowledged these feelings but wasn’t acting on them.

Billy lit a cigarette and sat in the driver's seat of the tamed and sleeping Camaro. He took a long drag, held the smoke, nicotine swimming freely through his tense muscles and exhaled long and slow. In that moment Billy felt like he was sinking into the car, drowning in these thoughts.

There was this feeling in Billy’s chest, and the only way to describe it was akin to watching a rock descend into the depths of inky darkness of cold water. Buty it wasn’t a melancholic feeling, it was hypnotising, it was freeing. It was the feeling of admitting to himself the way he felt and not turning away.

However, the moment was short lived. It was already too much that Billy had taken time to reflect. It was emotionally overwhelming for Billy, and he had to float back to the surface. It wasn’t necessarily uncomfortable for Billy, but it was new.

Billy exit the car, cigarette still hanging from his lips and ran a hand through his wavy hair. BIlly found himself rather exhausted from today’s events. He peered inside the diner and spotted a bubbly blonde standing at the front of house , waiting to take orders.

Billy had a sudden idea spark in his mind. He technically didn’t want to get rid of these feelings, but he did want to do something about them. Billy took one last drag from the cigarette, picked it from his lips and dropped it to the floor, stepping on it as he made his way into the diner with a charming grin on his lips to greet the waitress.

\---

Sam turned the water off and felt incredible after the long hot cleanse. She breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly. She stepped onto the crusty, dried out shower mat and tossed an off white towel over her head and dried her short dark locks. She dried the rest of her body and wrapped the dampened towel around her body.

Once finished, Sam leaned against the sink and closed her eyes, the blaring music outside the door acting as a white noise. It wasn’t like Sam didn't trust Billy, or that she intentionally went to that empty space, the void inside the mind, she just wanted a moment of peace, but Sam found herself in that dark abyss, staring at Billy as he sat silently in his car.

Sam walked cautiously toward the car and directly into Billy’s line of sight. Billy’s blue eyes seemed to stare right through her. Sam reached forward, her hand moving on it’s own accord as her arm floated from her side, reaching towards Billy, reaching out for something.

The cold touch of the car had surprised Sam and she pried her eyes open. She glanced over to her hand that had moved with it’s own mind and found it grasping Billy’s necklace she removed before the shower. Sam had stared at it long and hard.

Sam felt this strange tug inside of her, under her rib cage, like her lungs were made of yarn and someone was unravelling her, but there was a knot, and at the end of the string was attached to someone else on the other end. There was a connection that wasn’t just attached to her powers, it was attached to a deeper part of Sam.

Sam pinched the small pendant and brought it up to her face. She knew exactly who was on the other side of that string. She huffed and slipped the necklace onto her, she wasn’t brave enough to admit to herself who it was, but she let the feeling wash over her, let it embrace her and cleanse her, exactly like the shower had.

Sam stepped into the motel room, she hadn’t been worried about Billy not being back yet, but she felt airy when Sam had trusted Billy to return. It was like having butterflies when you trust someone to catch you, and the courage it takes.

Sam _did_ , however, keep in mind of keeping the towel on as Billy seemed not too comfortable with nudity around her and in any case he did comeback, she was at least covered. Sam walked around the room to grab a pair of jeans, but soon found herself transfixed on the scapres of Billy’s leather jacket.

Sam reached out towards the jacket and jerked her hand back. _No, I shouldn’t_ she scolded herself, and her hand reached out again, but quickly pulled it back. _He could be back any moment_. To keep her uncontrollable hands away from the jacket, she forced her feet away from the jacket and toward the bathroom to finish changing.

But Sam’s eyes were still fixed in place. Still yearning. Still distracted as she knocked over the gifted paper bag filled with Jay’s gifts. Sam heard a clinking and that hallowing liquid swim in a glass bottle. She glanced down, grateful for the distraction and found a bottle of brown liquid.

Sam picked the bottle up and read the yellow label with a red demon. “Fireball?” Sam slowly articulated. She twisted the cap off and took a whiff of the contents. She jerked her head back, the sting of the clear and poignant smell of alcohol, but it had an enticing scent of sweet and spice. Sam raised her eyebrows, actually impressed that it didn’t smell like outright fumes like the ones Billy had shared with her. Now to taste it if it carried the smell to her tongue.

It burned delightfully inside Sam, very close to the same feeling of drinking a hot beverage on a cold day. One side of Sam wanted to put the bottle down and return it to the brown crumpled bag, but another side wanted her to drown out the acknowledgement of this connect she had confessed to herself, that she had let this person unravel her, and that it felt like she had needed it.

Sam kissed the bottle to her lips and swung it back, letting the liquid push the feelings back down. Sam had almost immediately felt the effects of the potent mixture, her empty stomach burning and swirling. Soon enough, she began to waltz herself back to the bathroom as the music dance with her there.

\---

Billy panted, his nose flaring as he devoured the blonde waitress, pushing his tongue over hers, his hands making the same actions over the girls uniform, mapping out her curves and what she was wearing underneath.

Billy hadn’t bothered remembering her name as she kept cooing his. All billy was thinking about was trying to make this quick, he was afraid of the food getting cold before he returned to the motel. So Billy made do with the back of the diner against the wall, he didn’t care, he usually had a _bit_ more class, but he needed a release, a release from so much built up tension, release from the prison of neglected intimacy, release from these feelings and thoughts of _her_.

However, as Billy went through the motions, they felt empty, forced even despite how he used to get so much enjoyment from this. But nothing was working for him, bot this girls husky voice, not how she tasted too sickly sweet like she ate an entire packet of bubblegum, not even when she kissed Billy’s sensitive neck and collar bone.

The more Billy tried to focus, or rather let go of his thoughts, he found his mind clawing back to _her_ , like it was the wrong way to let go, like a child letting go of a balloon only to regret it immediately, realising they now had nothing.

The blonde slowly slid her hands down Billy’s toroso, tugging at his belt. Billy sighed with relief, hoping it was going to happen, he would be rewarded a release, a distraction, but what Billy didn’t realise as the blonde kept trailing her hand downward, she pulled away immediately. “You’re not even hard!?”

Billy was just as bewildered as she was. Billy sighed and gritted his teeth. “Fuck” He hissed through clenched teeth. He let his thoughts catch up to him but nw it seemed he couldn’t escape them, The waitress removed herself from Billy and began to fix herself, glaring at Billy. “What? I don’t do it for you? Are you a faggot or something?”

Billy took immediate offense, of course he was feeling self conscious about how he couldn’t even get it up, but the slur had engaged him even more. Billy scoffed and raised his voice “Nah, just afraid of catching something since you seem so easy!” yelling after her as she stormed back to the back door.

The girl threw him the finger “Enjoy your dinner _asshole_!” and slammed the door behind her as she marched back into the diner. Of course the outburst had made Billy see red, but it was the frustration, the deinle of release, the denial of his body, denial of his thoughts.

Billy growled and threw his fists at the wall hard enough to scrape the skin off. He gritted his teeth and laughed maniacally at the situation. “You gott be fucking kidding me.” He picked up the bag of styrofoam containers heavy with hot food still inside and stormed to his car.

\---

Billy hard marched back to the motel room, a foul mood hanging over his head, but when he approached the motel door his past aggressions floated away and curiosity had tickled his interest. Billy heard that dingy CD radio still playing loudly and fumbling inside.

Billy felt a slight panic but it soon eluded him when he made out that it was only one pair of feet making all that racket. Billy slowly and quietly turned the knob of the door and pushed it open delicately. He took a sly step inside and his mood had lifted exponentially.

Billy stood and watched, a faint smile on his lips as the scene played out. Sam was dancing, ort rather jumping on her feet in odd directions, swinging her arms. She wore a pair of loose high waisted jeans, Billy’s leather jacket and nothing else, with Billy Idol’s _Dancing With Myself_ blaring in the background.

Billy didn’t make himself known he was there, enjoying the sight of Sam _dancing_ blissfully with her eyes closed for some time. It was heaven for Billy. Before a couple of minutes passed by, Billy swuing the door shut, making it click loudly in place and Sam was brought back down to Earth immediately.

She sp[un around wide eyed and if her cheeks weren’t already red from the alcohol. Billy could have seen the embarrassment Sam was going through. Billy, however, felt his breath hitch at the sight of Sam’s flushed face.

“How long have you been there?” sam blurted out breathlessly. “Long enough to know you’re a terrible dancer” Billy replied with an arrogant smirk, but the breathless words had shot an arrow through his heart and was incredibly hard keeping composure.

Sam began to shrink under Billy’s gaze and closed the leather jacket around her. “It’s a good look by the way.” Billy pointed to Sam, eyeing his leather jacket as he emptied the contents of the plastic bag of their dinner onto the bed.

Sam became a bit flustered and averted her gaze. “Sorry, I didn’t mean--” “Have you been drinking?” Billy found the bottle of Fireball with a quarter missing, holding it up to show that Sam couldn’t lie with blatant evidence.

Sam averted her gaze again and mumbled “What it to you?” At that small remark Billy loomed over her, he wanted to be angry, but it wasn’t anger he was feeling, the scenery before him of a bashful, red faced Sam in his leather jacket with nothing underneath. Anger wasn’t the initial response, it just had a similar effect on his body as he became charged. His chest flared, his cheeks began to flush and his heart hammered as he stood so close to her.

Billy leaned in close, for some reason he needed to be closer, but this boiling point of frustration was making him more agitated and began to connect strange things in his mind, that he became jealous again, he became possessive and it made him even more charged, it was a tension that was building and getting ready to snap.

“Did _Jared_ give it to you?” Sam wasn’t sure what to Billy as he growled through his teeth. But despite Billy’s intimidating presence, she felt no anger, but like Billy, her body became charged the same way.

So Sam fought fire with fire and squared her shoulders, leaning to close the distance with an inch between them, her intimidation tactic losing an effect as she drunkenly swayed back and forth, “Did the waitress give you those marks on your neck?” Billy was a bit taken aback. How could he have forgotten the waitress was wearing that weird sweet lip gloss?

Billy just fluttered his long lashes, dumbfounded and stuck on what to say. After a tense moment of silence, Sam burst into a fit of giggles and headed to the bathroom, stripping his leather jacket and tossing it to the bed, her toned back always facing Billy. But the implication of her nude body had made Billy frozen and heat up all at once, his freckled cheeks going red.

“I can smell her too!” she yelled from the open door as she changed into a band T-shirt Jay had given her and a baggy pair of worn out sweats from the OP Shop.

It was strange to Billy, to Billy, it was like all tension was cut when she re-emerged, still red faced but with a staggering bounce in her step. Sam plopped onto the stiff bed and offered the bottle to Billy. Billy grasped the bottle warily, eyeing Sam suspiciously, wondering if her behaviour was some sort of trick, that same foxy grin on her features, the small jacket tossing action. It was like Sam, although drunk, was flirting with Billy. Or was it that they were getting along, wondering why it felt so easy between them now?

Billy took a large swig of the whiskey, hoping the alcohol would give him the same easy-going attitude it did with Sam. He joined Sam on the bed and grabbed his own box of food and switched the TV on. Billy jumped a bit when he felt Sam buimp her burger against his and shouted gleefully “na zdorov'ye!”

Billy felt the corner of his mouth quirk into a soft grin as he watched Sam take too large of a bite. _Could it really be this easy between us?_ Billy hoped. They were only halfway through their meal, and the bottle of Fireball when Sam piped up again enthusiastically “Look at us. Dinner, a movie and drinks! Isn’t this what normal people call a date?”

It was sarcastic of course, but Billy choked on the food in his mouth. Sam almost panicked at first, but laughter soon sung from her as she realised that was Billy’s reaction to her observation. Sam giggled and giggled as Billy had to strike at his chest a couple of times before he caught his breath and glared at her “I’m fine thanks…. Asshole” Which had only made Sam cackle harder.

Billy wanted to be annoyed that Sam was laughing at him, but her laugh was so contagious he couldn’t help but devolve into it with her.

\---

After their antics and their meals. They felt themselves slowly sobering up from a full stomach and prepared Billy a small sleeping spot on the floor. As Billy placed the pillow on the floor, Sam spotted his battered knuckles and felt a small flutter of sadness.

Sam had tried concealing the stare but Billy had caught it at it’s last moments and felt incredibly guilty. It was even worse when it felt like the mood had suddenly dropped and silence filled the room that now felt too big.

Billy sighed and motioned his hands towards her “You mind?” indicating for her to patch Billy up and change his bandages. Sam smiled to Billy, it was clear that the effects of the cinnamon whiskey was still lingering for both of them but Billy could sense the sadness behind her smile. “Not at all!”

They made their way to the bathroom, the same positions as before when Billy had embarrassed himself earlier, but this time, it wasn’t as uncomfortable. Sam was quick to work as Billy winced at the small dabs of pain from the rubbing alcohol.

Finally, Sam reached Billy’s knuckles, she curled her fingers delicately into Billy’s palm and pulled towards her. Thankfully, Sam’s full focus was on the scrapes, that she didn’t see Billy’s lashes flutter in synch with his heart. Billy seized up and exhaled from the small rush of the touch.

Billy had to quickly mask the feeling before Sam had noticed. “I want that back by the way.” Billy softly gripped the pendant hanging from Sam’s neck. She scoffed, “You will have to fight me for it.” Billy let a rumble from his chest of soft laughter at the tease. At the moment there was no rush to get it back, he valued that small piece of metal, but he knew it was in safe keeping. “Well, you should take a look at the other guy. If you think my knuckles are torn to shit.”

Sam shook her head with amusement “Did the other guy happen to be a brick wall?” “How did you--?” Billy started but as Sam gave magic fingers he scowled at her answer “Because I’m an amazing psychic.” Billy raised an eyebrow unimpressed but the smile never faded. “I’d call you a hundred different things before psychic, or amazing.”

Sam let out a small laugh and rubbed some alcohol on his knuckles harshly. “Did you forget I’m the one mending your wounds, blin?” Billy licked his lips and chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve been through worse.” Sam scoffed “Yeah? Like what?” and Billy was so nonchalant, he didn’t miss a beat with his answer “Death.”

A moment of silence had come and gone as they both processed the joke, wondering whether or not they should laugh, but they both broke into laughter and in their laughter they caught each other’s eye. Their laughter had calmed as they smiled to one another, and a long moment passed. Then it grew longer and longer.

Billy felt his smile slowly relax from the laughter the longer he looked at Sam. It was such an odd moment for him as time seemed to slow, as if giving him the chance to take ion all of Sam’s details. Sam could see Billy visibly relax, he almost seemed to melt into her eyes. But a strange panic arose when Sam could have sworn Billy leaning in.

Sam quickly tore her eyes away and finished patching Billy up, this time she gently moved passed Billy and stood at the doorway. She smiled sweetly, feeling bad when her thoughts began to return to that nerve racking place where Billy seemed to be the answer, she felt bad that she felt like the only one with these feelings, even worse if she wasn’t. “Goodnight Billy.” and at the last moment, she dropped her eyes to the floor, trying to hide the sadness behind them, and started for the bed.

Billy felt…. Oddly disappointed? Chances were he would have chickened out, but that urge came back to close the distance, and Billy was sure that there was a moment, a crystal clear moment, Sam wanted the same. She even looked sad herself to leave it at that. So why did she avoid it?

Billy sighed and followed suit. He clicked the bathroom light off and the motel room was plunged into darkness save for the street lamps outside. He made his way to the blankets and pillows on the floor and laid down. Billy stared at the ceiling for just a minute before he gave in and looked to the bed to see Sam’s face peacefully asleep.

Billy had watched Sam as the fluorescent light from outside illuminated her features. He watched her breathing, her body rising and falling evenly as she laid there so still and comfortable. Billy in that moment had wondered what it would feel like to have Sam’s rhythmic breathing pressed against his chest as he’d wrap his arms around her and burrow his face into her now dark and bouncy locks, legs tangled in a mess under the sheets.

Soon enough, these were Billy’s last lucid thoughts as his long eyelashes slowly and rebelliously closed. His drunk and stubborn minding not wanting to stop seeing her face before he was thrown into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian phrases spoken here:  
> -" _To Health!_ "  
> -" _Pancake_ "


	14. 13. Cow Patties and Hangovers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN SO LONG!!!! i'm so sorry for that, Work and the Christmas period has been nuts. BUT!!! at least I've updated! it is only a short chapter, but a whole bunch is packed in it! lot's of feelings! of course, as always, Kak vcegda! Russian notes at the bottom. Thank you for reading and thank you for being to patient!

Sam slowly lifted her lids. Her head pounded and spun in circles, she could relate the feeling to being strapped in a plane with awful turbulence and immense pressure. Sam groaned and writhed in the bed, burrowing her messy locks under the cool pillow to help alleviate the pain, it helped but it wasn’t a permanent remedy.

The last and first time she felt like this, Sam didn’t actually have time to properly recover or even really feel it, but now that she was laying in the stiff bed with the awful damp smell, feeling all the consequences of the night before, am now preferred to have another ambush, another explosion, anything to force her to ignore the pain, even if it was replaced with the pain of Billy abandoning her again.

“Billy!”

Sam shot up rom the bed and looked about the room, it was dark with the sunlight peeking through the blinds tauntingly, waiting to sting her sensitive, freshly awoken and hungover eyes. It seemed that Sam’s wishes were granted as she ignored her headache now and the spinning that came with it.

Sam threw herself to the edge of the bed, eyes wide and chest tight when he spotted the empty space where Billy slept last night. Sam gripped the edges of the mattress tight, pursing her lips and her eyes going hot. Sam was wrong, this pain would always be worse than a hangover.

The motel door clicked and Same whipped her head to the intruder, who was in fact…. Not an intruder. Relief washed over Sam like cool rain on a hot summer day and fell back into the bed, huffing as she rubbed her eyes, mostly to wipe the almost shed tears away, but also to wipe the blinding sun as it burned into her headache.

Billy paused in the doorway at Sam’s alarmed gaze, he felt like a felon who’d been caught by a spotlight. As soon as Sam layed back down in the bed, Billy entered the room, tossing the keys to his Camaro to the side. Billy at first thought he was in trouble, but as that image began to develop clearer in his mind, Billy could have sworn he saw Sam’s eyes, her sweet, warm, brown eyes were glossy.

That feeling swam through Billy, that feeling of being missed. He smiled to himself and began to unpack a plastic bag full of styrofoam containers. “You know, I could have sworn I heard my name.” Billy chuckled to himself, “You calling out my name in your sleep?” Billy smirked over his shoulder and winked at Sam as she glared between her fingers.

Billy continued to smile to himself as he emptied the rest of the contents, opened the containers, stabbing the food with plastic forks and sat on the edge of the bed beside Sam. sam groaned unpleasantly as Billy’s motions rocked the bed, which only caused Billy to continue to be amused.

“Black with one sugar, right?” Billy place a paper cup of dark liquid on the nightstand. Sam removed her hands from her face and beamed at Billy. Billy hadn’t noticed her stare until he was a good mouthful into his food. “What?” Hardly coherent but Billy’s puzzled expression could say what barely made out of his mouth.

Not even half a minute of Sam’s silence and stare did Billy began to feel uneasy. He shifted on the bed, swallowing the large chunk in his mouth and played with his food. “Sorry I took so long. I, uh, had to avoid the closer diner.” And as if trying to erase the memory of the apology, Billy went straight back to his food.

Sam struggled to sit up and stared hard at her lap, struggling to collect her thoughts. “You…. Came back.” Billy paused and took a drink from his coffee, strategising his next works, but they came out so effortlessly “I told you I’d be coming back for my necklace.”

Despite his cool demeanour, Sam had noticed that small moment of hesitation, like she could see the moment Billy had thought about escape. It was Billy’s turn to catch her off guard and saw the sadness and guilt in her eyes. It was obvious to Billy that Sam felt like she was keeping him hostage, which in a small manner she was, but call it stockholm or whatever, Billy began to really enjoy Sam’s company, really began to like her as a whole the more he learned about her, and the more Sam learned about him.

For a split second, Billy felt guilty towards himself, denying himself an escape, but he buried that emotion, because he knew full well where those feelings would take him. Instead, Billy knew for certain he now no longer felt like a captive.

Regardless if Billy was forced with Sam, Billy had never felt this close to anyone in a long time. He never shared so much with one person. Never felt so much with another human being. Guilt, Anger, Sadness, Billy knew all too well already. He needed a change, wanted to one no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, he needed to explore this feeling, right here.

Billy placed his food to the side and put his hand forward for a handshake. “Hey! We made a deal Russki. And a man’s word is as good as his bond.” Sam half smiled and grasped Billy’s hand carefully. “A good man…. Is as good as his bond.” Sam corrected.

Billy knew the sentiment that Sam was trying to imply, but he didn’t feel it, in fact just before they untwined their hands, Sam had caught a glimpse of Billy’s small escapade at the back of the diner last night. She hadn’t really wanted to see, mostly because she could piece together from her memories last night when he returned, but it still hurt.

Sam understood why Billy looked, as she experienced herself from the touch, and felt guilty. Yes, having the event confirmed still left a burn, but it wasn’t like she had any right to being angry, or jealous, just the same as to why Billy should feel guilty?

Sam rationalised it and pushed the feelings down deep, the way her stomach tumbled with them wasn’t helping her headache and nausea, so taming and chaining them down was a good way to settle all the activity for her.

And as if they were on the same wavelength, Billy pulled Sam’s breakfast closer. Sam opened the container and smiled. “Blin!” Sam was excited to say the least, mostly for her food, heart, absorbing food, but also the thought of Billy remembering what she liked.

Billy tried hiding his laughter and acting nonchalant, but as soon as he spoke, as soon his eyes landed on the ravenous Am, his facade shattered. “What is that? Pancake or something?” Sam nodded and applauded Billy’s translation.

Sam finished chewing, swallowed and began to count on her fingers between sips of her coffee. “Can also mean Damn or Cow Patty.” Billy quirked his eyebrows. “Cow Patty, as in…. Cow shit?” Sam pursed her lips, trying hard to hide the smile growing on her lips, nodding slowly.

Billy stopped chewing and tossed his fork into his container. “Great.” He rubbed his hands distastefully together and stood up to leave. Sam laughed at Billy’s loss of appetite and snatched his wrist, playfully pulling him back to finish his breakfast. “Oh no! We’re suffering through this together! Even-- Even if--” Same couldn’t contain herself as she cackled on “Your burger looks like a blin!”

Billy just nodded,ace black and look at his food. “Then I suppose you don’t mind if I get rid of the bread and make an idiot sandwich.” There was a moment of confusion before Sam felt two very saucy buns on either cheek. Her laughter ceased and a gasp took its place.

Sam was fast, she launched herself to grab at Billy, but Billy was faster, and expecting it. “Ty malen'kaya golova der'ma! You’re dead!” Sam growled. She tried not smiling, but it was so hard. Sam threw more pieces of Billy’s burger at him, but missed as he hurtled over the bed, laughing to himself “Been there! Done that!”

Sam tore the covers off and chased Billy to the bathroom, but again Billy knew it was coming and slammed the door in Sam’s face, locking it in place. Both am and Billy leaned on the door, almost like a mirror image as they caught their breaths. Both smiling ear to ear. Both feeling that swirl in their stomachs, and a flutter in their chests, and both thank god for the door because both their cheeks were bright red.

Silence fell for more than either of them had anticipated until Billy finally called from the other side of the door “You almost got me Russki!” Billy pushed off the door and turned the shower on. As he waited for the water to heat up, he returned to the door. “I already got you.” Sam taunted back, tapping on the door playfully before she returned to the bed.

But just as she pushed off the door, Billy had leaned his forehead on the door, almost exactly where Sam’s forehead was, and he placed his palm where am’s finger had tapped. Billy, through the door, could feel the comfortable weight of Sam’s body against it.

At any time before Sam went back to the bed, Billy could have swung the door open and let Sam fall into his arms, condiment mess and all. If it wasn’t for that damned door! But Billy knew it wasn’t the only barrier between them.

Billy listened to Sam’s feet pad across the carpet and back to the bed. Billy took in a deep breath and sighed heavily and whispered to himself “Yeah…. You really got me.”

\---

As soon as Sam pushed from the door, her hangover had hit her like a freight train. True the food helped quite a lot, and even having fun with Billy had helped Sam forget about her headache, but that’s all it did, help her forget the gruelling consequences of drinking alcohol before a proper meal.

Unfortunately, that small slice of enjoying each other’s company had cost a price by moving around too much. Sam steadily made back to the bed and fell into the almost cushioning of the stiff mattress, burying herself amongst the pillows and blankets, the nausea becoming too much to keep her eyes open.

Sam hadn’t meant to fall back asleep, but she knew she was unconscious, or close to when she recognised that void again. This time, however, she wasn’t alone. Someone stood, facing away from her. It was a boy younger than her. Buzz cut. Industrial jumpsuit. Tattoo on the back of his neck.

Sam felt the air leaver her boy. She reached out and let out a barely audible whisper “Pyat”. The moment his name left her lips his arms had caught fire. “Pyat!” Sam called, this time with more confidence, more concern. If this really was the void, then that meant some part of _Pyat_ had survived. After all these years! Sam had thought she killed him, but he was here! In the Void!

Sam approached her old comrade but when she stepped in front to see his face, to take in _his_ details with joy, Sam’s face twisted into a grimace. It was all wrong. It wasn’t _him_ anymore, it was Billy.

Billy’s eyes were red and glossy, a black substance was leaking from his nose and ears. But the worst part for Sam was seeing terror and pain in Billy’s big, beautiful, blue eyes. Sam couldn’t help but reach out and touch Billy, placing a gentle palm on his shoulder and neck.

As soon as her skin made contact she knew that this wasn’t the Void. This was Hell. From Sam’s touch, Billy began to slowly fade to dust. Sam was horrified and grasped at Billy’s arm and chest, trying to keep him with her, trying to keep him together, but wherever she touched, the faster Billy began to fade and she would be all alone.

A hot touch had launched Sam from that Hell back to Earth. She snapped her eyes open and found Billy standing over her by the bed with just a towel around him, water still running off his body, his locks still drenched. Sam was just as confused as Billy, until Billy knitted his brows together and provided an explanation for his appearance. “I hear you screaming and calling out my name from the shower. Jesus, I thought you were getting fucking murdered.”

Sam just blinked at him. Completely stunted that he was ok. That Billy was only suffering from an interrupted shower. But Sam had to be sure. She reached a hand out hesitantly and held her breath when she made skin to skin.

Billy watched as Sam’s fingertips touched his chest, puzzlement adorning his reddening cheeks. “What are you--” Billy couldn't even finish the question as Sam rushed her palms over his torso and arms and anywhere her hands would allow, and nearly knocking the wind out of him, she jumped up tp pull him into a tight hug.

Billy stood stock still, he wasn’t sure if he should reciprocate the hug or push her off with the excuse that she’d get wert from his still dripping skin. Simply because his blush had gotten worse on his freckled cheeks. Instead of either Billy just stood there.

It was like this for a few minutes until Sam had finally offered an explanation for her odd behaviour. “Nightmare.” Billy immediately understood, and it felt a bit daunting that he pieced together that something happened to himself in Sam’s dream. Something bad, if she was hugging him like this.

Billy slowly began to unstiffen and ease under her touch. Slowly and hesitantly, Billy began to wrap his arms around Sam and pull her tighter into his chest. Billy had thought about saying something, anything really, but it seemed the silence said the most.

They breathed each other in, perfectly synchronised, like two moving jigsaw pieces, and those two pieces were the entire puzzle, they did need anything else.

Long moments had gone bu intol Billy caved, he had to say something now, mostly to lift Sam’s mood “So you _do_ call out my name in your sleep?” Billy laughed to himself and as a response Sam swiped him on the back of the head and pushed away first. Of course they both wanted to stay like that, Sam listening to the rumble of Billy chest as he laughs and Billy would endure the abuse from his smart remarks.

“Go finish your shower” Sam scolded. And Sam was right to push away. If that hug went on any longer, then they knew that this dynamic wasn’t just a friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian Phrases spoken:  
> -"Pancake!"  
> -"You little shit head!"


	15. 14. Exposure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in because this is one helluva long chapter! also WARNING it has a scene with a panic attack in it, so be prepared!! I hope you guys enjoy and thank you for reading!!! also Russian word spoke here (since there's only one) is "Dear"

Billy shut off the hot water and stood in silence, breathing in the still scolding steam, expanding his lungs and stepped out. He dried himself and tossed his locks with the damp towel. Once he was satisfied with the dryness, he wrapped the towel around him and stared at his body in the mirror.

Tracing his fingertips over the deep pink lines of his older wounds, and touching at the skin around his fresher grazed like skin. Despite all the marks, Billy was always drawn back to the massive gash on his chest.

When he first inspected it, it always brought back the feeling of terror and helplessness, but looking at it now, it brought a bittersweet feeling, he was getting a second chance. Something no one had ever given Billy, not until now.

At that moment, Billy wanted to be close to Sam, whether it just be in the same room, staring at her from afar or have her touching him. In an odd way, it was as if Billy wanted to keep her company as a token of gratitude, despite how bad they fought, Billy knew that Sam too, enjoyed him around. Otherwise what other use was he awake and why not just keep him in that void?

Billy gathered his jeans and poked his head out the bathroom. He was alarmed to see Sam not in bed or even in the room for that matter but he immediately eased when the motel door was open and there he saw her. Sam was leaning against the balcony, her head full of bouncy dark locks hanging over the edge, her skin glowing in the sun. She was sunbathing.

Billy was in awe. He was frozen staring at her, but he had to break himself out of the trance and quickly shut his jaw, shaking his head at the thought of gawking at Sam. Billy gave himself a moment to gather his thoughts and stepped put the bathroom and approached the sunny threshold.

He leaned against the frame and crossed his arms over his chest, and after a small moment of taking in Sam’s relaxed state, he traced his blue eyes across the scenery around them. He had to admit, the sun on his skin felt good.

It was getting stranger and stranger interacting with Sam, one moment Billy would be so easy going with Sam, snarky even, and the next all confidence would be swept from underneath him.

“You know, you might like Cali. It’s got sun like this all the time, and the beaches are amazing.” Billy spoke softly so as not to startle Sam in her relaxed state. Without moving or even opening her eyes, she spoke with interest “Cali?” Billy nodded, but obviously Sam couldn’t see it but he went on anyway, his husky voice singing in the late morning air as the months started to turn cold.

“Yeah, California, where I’m from. It’s on the west coast. Just perfect days, so i never felt forced to stay inside, I could be out of the house all the time.” Sam lolled her head forward and squinted one eye open, her hangover was almost gone, but her head still ached. “I’ve never been to a beach. I hardly ever saw the sky where I’m from”

Billy stared at Sam, he wasn’t sure what to make of her answer. Not ever have gone to a beach of course was ludicrous, but Billy had known people from small country towns who barely made it out of their state. But the sky!?

For a moment Billy had almost forgotten that Sam had come from a different world. He had forgotten what she was before their whole dynamic changed. Billy had started to see Sam grow into this whole new person so fast that if he had approached as a stranger now, he would never believe her past.

“One day I’ll make it to the beach.” Sam’s tone was confident and matter of fact. It had even caused a small smile to play on Billy’s lips as he stared at her. “Maybe one day I’ll show you Cali.” Sam smiled at Billy’s sentiment and pushed herself off the balcony to head inside “Maybe”.

As she moved past him, Billy could have sworn he caught a hint of flirting, maybe even hopeful teasing? He followed after her inside and it seemed Sam already knew what Billy was going to ask as she began to unpack the motel room first aid kit.

Billy lit a cigarette as he waited for Sam to set up her workshop on the bed. He grabbed the motel ashtray and plopped down in front of her. Just as he did, Sam threw back two aspirin and a large gulp of her now cold coffee and began her work on Billy.

Sam was immediately focused once she began and Billy did his best not to wince. He also tried to distract himself by taking frequent puffs of his cigarette so his eyes wouldn’t become fixated on Sam, but God! Was it hard. However, Billy didn’t make it easy as Sam had to stop every time Billy leaned over to ash his cigarette.

At one point Sam kissed her teeth and Billy couldn’t help but smirk, and then he was caught. He was doing so well not to get trapped by her, but Billy’s eyes immediately found Sam’s glaring back at him. Sam, however had a task to focus on, Billy, on the other hand was stuck. Sam’s once sweet warm brown eyes were now stern and focused, her perfectly angled brows knitted together, her short, dark, bouncy hair which Billy had grown to love because she loved it, falling in front of her eyes.

“You should take a shower” Billy’s mouth had moved before he could think. They were both a bit startled by the sudden words. Sam just paused and had to gather herself a bit before she returned to work “Why? Because I stink?” “Wha--No--” Billy stammered “Or because you want to see me naked you creep?” Billy pulled a face, what bothered him most was Sam’s even and nonchalant tone. Nakedness hadn’t bothered Sam at all, but she learned quickly that it made Billy hot and bothered and wanted to playfully tease. “What the fuck--Jesus Christ-- No! To help you feel better from your hangover!”

Billy had to look away as he shook his head, his freckled cheeks were blossoming bright red, and now thanks to Sam, Billy’s brain bombarded him with thoughts of Sam naked. Sam just laughed to herself as she finished, by this point all of Billy’s wounds had closed, they mostly just needed a clean and to dry out. Sam stood and ruffled Billy’s damp hair “Only teasing dorogoy.” Billy flinched and swatted her hand away knowing Sam just wanted to be annoying.

Sam stretched and groaned. THe hangover had taken a lot out of her, but the sun had also relaxed her as a whole. She swayed to the bathroom as the blood rushed to her head and smiled when Billy called after her “Wait! What does that one mean!?” And as Sam closed the door, Billy cursed under his breath, having a pretty strong feeling that Sam had hidden a small hint in that one Russian word and it had begun to drive him up the wall. “God damn russki.”

\---

Sam shut the water off and sighed. She had to hand it to Billy, he was really good with hangovers. She stepped out and dried herself off and wiped the foggy mirror and stared at herself. Sam wasn’t exactly displeased with the way she looked, but it didn’t feel like…. Her.

Sam played with the skin on her face, rubbing her eyes and gave up. Seeing herself bare and natural brought her back to the memories of being in the facility. It’s not that she didn't feel pretty or worthy because she had nothing on. She just didn’t quite feel like herself now. Sam was aware she was changing , and dying and cutting her hair felt so _freeing_ like she was leaving a part of herself she didn’t like behind. But she needed more.

Sam inspected the clothes she had in the bathroom with her. She did like the clothes she got, but her taste had changed, _evolved_. Sam had caught glimpses here and there of styles she admired and began to realised that she wanted to update her wardrobe.

She slipped on the rugged pair of black jeans and a faded Iron Maiden t-shirt and took one last look in the mirror. Sam sighed again, remembering the party that they were invited to and decided she needed a change and fast. Sam wanted to debut her evolution to these total strangers despite them not knowing a thing about her, but it wasn’t for them, it was for herself.

The one small problem sprung in her mind. She had no idea where to start.

Sam swung the door of the bathroom open and marched to the bed and plopped herself next to Billy. Billy was startled to say the least and sat up immediately, almost dropping his cigarette. “Jesus Sam!” Sam didn’t care for her intrusion, she was on a mission and she needed guidance. “How do I make myself pretty?”

Billy just stared at Sam. He was completely stunted for words. Billy had a small voice screaming at the back of his mind _What are you talking about!? You don’t need anything! You’re already there!_ Of course Billy couldn’t say that, not in a million years. But the next thing that caught him for words was the fact that he honestly had no clue. Billy wasn’t very invested in the whole step by step routine of girls and getting ready, but Sam’s face, her serious and hopeful expression demanded an answer.

“Ah, fuck, I don’t know-- make up?” Billy shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. Despite Billy’s meager reply, it seemed good enough for Sam as she turned away and pondered. A small part of Billy had regretted his answer and wished he listened to that small voice. Billy was fearful that Sam would fall into the whole mindset of being beautiful and fuckable was her most valuable asset, as he had resentfully become familiar with all the girls he hooked up with.

Then it clicked for Billy. Where did all this worry about appearance come from? But Billy wasn’t going to ask that, she he decided for something simpler “Why?” Sam’s eyes were back on him, but this time they were large, warm and energetic. “I want to look pretty for the party.” Stating it like a matter of fact.

Billy had immediately taken it the wrong way. His chest became hollow and his gut twisted and all he could think of was Sam meant was that she wanted to look good for _Jared_. Billy wasn’t good at hiding his jealousy, he took a long drag of his cigarette and worked his jaw. “I thought we agreed not to go to that.”

Sam scoffed and rolled her eyes. “ _You_ disagreed with the idea. If you want, stay here but I’m going.” Billy clenched his jaw again. Why did he expect anything different from her. But just like Sam, Billy was equally stubborn.

Billy fluttered his long lashes in annoyance and let out a dry chuckle “Sam. We talked about this. It’s dangerous.” Billy was putting his foot down, and if Billy knew anything about standing his ground, it was to plant his feet.

Billy blew out his smoke and side glanced Sam and almost caved. Sam knew too well at this point that if she didn’t reign her anger in, they’d have another fight. She took in a deep breath and smiled with desperation. “Billy, I just want to feel like a normal person. I just want to have fun. I just want to do what everyone else our age is doing. I want what’s been taken away from me. I’m going regardless if you’re coming or not.”

Billy felt a bit disappointed, mostly in himself. He became sour at the notion of the house party. He knew exactly all the trouble that occurs at house parties, mostly because Billy was exactly the type to cause most of those troubles. But truthfully, Billy was mostly disappointed in himself when he realised he became bitter at one of the small joys he got from life.

There was one side of Billy that wanted to stay stern, that wanted to stay authoritative and in control, it was Billy’s stubborn and aggressive side, but he knew it was a high risk. Then that small voice screamed at the back of Billy’s head to go and have fun. Billy caved. He sighed and rolled his eyes, dabbing out his cigarette as he searched for a shirt and his keyes. “Aw hell. Guess you’re gonna need a ride anyway.”

It was hard to hide Billy’s smile, because without even seeing her face, Billy could feel the smile radiate from her. “Let’s go get some shit for this party.” And Sam followed after Billy out the motel room.

\---

As they drove into town, Billy could eye Sam from the side and smiled to himself. She looked like a puppy going on her first car ride. Sam had stayed glued to the passenger window until they drove by the same record store they had visited yesterday where this fateful journey began.

Billy could feel Sam shift in her seat at the sight and he felt a pang of jealousy, but Sam’s sweet and inquisitive voice had removed the bitterness. “There’s an OP shop there?” It was more so a question than a statement, and Billy silently congratulated himself as Sam sat properly in the passenger side as Billy kept driving.

Billy smiled and lit his cigarette stuck behind his ear as he turned at an intersection of the town. “I have a place in mind. I think you’ll like it. Girls love this shit.” Sam could only knit her brows in suspicion at Billy’s cryptic words.

However, all wary feelings had been swept away and amazement and excitement had taken it’s place. Billy let a small rumble of laughter from his chest as they pulled into a busy parking lot to the local mall. “Figured you’d have more options than some shitty worn out band T’s”

Sam tried to lean as close as possible to the window, there were people everywhere! With bags and bags of goods. Kids their age just hanging out! Yes, Sam spent a small portion in Chicago, but she was always out when most people were asleep. But this! It was all new! It was normal. It’s what people Billy and Sam’s age should be doing.

However, with all the excitement came nervousness. Sam was worried if she stood out too much, or if she’d get lost among the crows. Last time Sam was in a mall, it was dead quiet, besides for sirens and military personnel. _So this is what it’s supposed to look like?_

Through all her excitement, Sam remembered one important detail. A mall is where Billy had his final moments before he was brought back. She couldn’t help but ied if Billy was going to be ok or not, and her excitement all but faded.

As Billy killed the engine, he sat for a moment to take a drag before side eyeing Sam, leaning lazily against the headrest. “Just promise me one thing Russki. You’re not doing this for some guy.”

Sam was genuinely impressed, or rather confused at Billy. If he was anxious of being in a mall again, he wasn’t giving anything away. Billy quirked a brow after awaiting for a response. Sam shook her head and scoffed “No of course not” Billy smiled and ruffled her hair like she was a child “Good girl.” Sam giggled and shoved Billy’s hand away “Why you jealous or something?” Billy gritted his teeth and feigned annoyance but it was hard to keep the smile from his lips.

A moment of silence hung in the air as Billy finished his cigarette. “Will…. You be alright?” Sam’s question caught Billy off guard. He was trying his hardest not to think about it. About that night. But once he was inside he would have no idea how it would all go down.

Billy lowered his eyes and let out the last of his smoke and shook his head. “I don’t know.” How could he lie? Billy, of all the times to be vulnerable, thought now was the best time. He felt like all that bullshit of being open and vulnerable like this was freeing, was a lie. He felt bare and exposed. He felt helpless and scared.

Until he felt Sam’s gentle hand on his shoulder. Billy caught her eyes and he began to believe it all. “I’ll be here.” Sam’s words were brave and soothing. At that moment, Billy understood. To be vulnerable is to trust in someone. To be brave, you must be scared. To be free, you have to let go.

Billy pursed his lips and tore his eyes away before they conveyed too much sentiment. “Alright, let’s get this shit done.”

\---

Sam almost charged the doors open and Billy followed apathetically, hands in his pockets as Sam rushed from one end of the entrance to the next. All worries of fitting in evaporated by her burning excitement, her eyes wide as they took in all the different shops with different things.

Despite Billy’s apathy towards the mall, Sam’s excitement had played the sweetest smile on his lips and it grew into laughter when Sam had pulled him by the wrists to the first of many shops. Billy at first was worried about getting a flash of the memories of his death, but luckily, and gratefully, Sam’s energetic ogling had kept him distracted.

Sam was relentless with ehr hunt for new clothes. She would march in, quickly scan over all the clothing items, dissatisfied she’d march out as fast she entered. Billy at first would follow slowly after her, but by the time he reached the entrance to the stores, Sam would come back out of it again to start at a new store. After a few of these, Billy would simply just wait outside for the quick minute Sam would be inside.

Then on one occasion Sam seemed to have tracked something down she was after. As Billy waited outside one of the store clerks had approached Billy with awkward tension. “Honour girlfriend needs a hand.” Billy looked around for anyone she may have been addressing, but her insistent stare made it clear to Billy that she was talking to him “Oh my girlfriend.”

The clerk raised an eyebrow. “The one with the short dark hair? Funny accent?” Billy scratched his forehead out of embarrassment from the assumption of their relationship and had a quick think that it would be better to just run with the joke then have to uncomfortably explain it. “Yep.”

Billy followed the stumpy middle aged woman as she continued to explain the situation. “She just wants to pay for something since she almost walked out with the item. Foreigners am I right?” The clerk tossed her hands in the air at her own statement. Bily made an indiscernible noise and gritted his teeth as she went on. “Says that her partner, you, could help with communication because we’re about ready to call the cops.”

Billy’s eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. _I could strangle this girl!_ Billy thought about Sam as he gritted his teeth. Once they arrived at the cashier, Sam looked like she was beginning to get heated in her _conversation_ with another clerk. Billy cleared his throat to announce his presence, still working his jaw as he glared at Sam. Sam gave Billy the biggest sly smile and clung to his arm “Dear!” Sam pulled Billy closer and harshly whispered “Pretend to understand me” and started back at the clerk in an obvious to Billy, staged heavy Russian accent. “Look, Listen. He Explain.” And Sam went on a tangent in her own language.

Billy just stared at her with clear confusion that he wasn’t getting a word of it. “Uh…. she says sorry. She’s used to putting it on a tab. She’s not used to American culture.” Billy quickly glanced to the clerks if they were buying the charade. The stumpy clerk shook her head and crossed her arms “See! Exactly why we should be more strict on our immigration policies!”

The stumpy clerk leaned closer to Sam and smiled distastefully. Billy felt butterflies knowing full well that Sam would be very displeased with the woman’s attitude and words, even seeing a few lights flicker in the store. “Immigrants like you need to learn English and the American way.” She spoke slowly and articulately like she was speaking to a toddler.

Sam surprisingly maintained her cool and the lights ceased to flicker, and even kept rolling with her staged accent as she leaned in closer to the stumpy woman. Billy could only watch as he felt a cold sweat come on. “Immigrants like you need to understand you stole this land long before people like me made America.”

The clerk looked frozen as her jaw dropped open and her chet and face flared red. Before the clerk could begin, Billy pulled Sam away and called out. “Germans am I right!?” Just when they exit the store Billy separated himself from Sam’s side and gritted his teeth “What the Hell was that!?”

Sam gave Billy a foxy grin as she emptied her pockets to reveal a small makeup kit. Billy nearly slapped his forehead with his paml and dryly laughed. “Are you fucking kidding me Sam!” Billy’s husky tone was loud enough to get a few onlookers, but Billy was quick to go back to harsh whispering. “That is the fucking worst way i’ve seen someone steal something!”

Sam began to giggle and return the items to her pockets. “I believe the term is shoplifting. It was just far too expensive to justify our limited funds.” Billy paced away from Sam, hands firmly on his hips as he played his tongue over his bitter smile. Billy had a moment to try and think clearly and approached Sam again as soon as he calmed. “Next shop we go into, just tell me what you fucking want and I’ll get it done!”

And with that, Billy stormed off to any direction. He knew that Sam needed to take the lead, but at the moment he just needed to cool off. Sam had to hurry after him, trying to stifle a laugh. To billy, it was a matter of keeping a low profile and not have any authority involved, but when he looked over his shoulder to glare at Sam, she wasn’t worried at all.

Sam’s eyes beamed brightly at every shop they walked past. How could Billy stay angry? She was just so excited to do something normal. Billy sighed and called out, still trying to keep and undertone of anger in his voice. “Alright you little thief, where to now?”

Sam had to stop and take in all the different shops. She looked around hard and her face lit up when she saw a collection of items in the window that she fell in love with. Sam enthusiastically pulled Billy’s wrist after her, Billy obediently followed with grievance as he saw the shop name. He immediately regretted his decision of stealing on her next pick as the letter for the famous brand highlighted their faces as they walked inside. _Ralph Lauren_. “Fuck.” Billy muttered.

Sam practically powered through the entire store, grabbing flimsy items greedily. Billy just skulked through the racks, touching a shirt here and there, all the while trying to keep an eye on the staff as they helped other customers.

“Are you stealing!?” the words made Billy jump and prepare to run, but his flight soon turned to fight when he realised it was Sam playing a prank. She giggled to herself and playfully hit Billy’s arm. His annoyance was quick to dissipate, how could he stay angry when she was genuinely having fun with him?

For a moment, it seemed as if time had slowed, Billy had taken it as a blessing to enjoy her laughing face, the way her almost almost close, and how her nose crinkled up. Somehow the fluorescent light made her smile even brighter. It was exactly like that time in the van, Billy seeing Sam smile for the first time, seeing her in a new light.

It almost seemed like Sam was caught in the moment too because he eyes had shyly lowered to the shirt Billy was inspecting. “I think this would be handsome on you.” Sam’s voice was soft and quaint, it was unlike anything Billy had heard from her. He tried his damned hardest to keep the heat rising in him in check but it was hard.

Billy blinked and nervously licked his lips. “You think so? Should we go try this on then?” As much as he hated this part of himself when he was with Sam, he couldn’t help but be a little sleazy. But for some god awful reason, he couldn’t control it, he was unashamedly purposefully flirting with Sam, and what better way then to play by her rules and change with her? And Billy could have sworn Sam was doing the same. Sam smiled and bit her bottom lip as she shoved the shirt into Billy’s hands. Even Sam herself was struggling to stop her cheeks going red.

Billy chuckled to himself, following after her to the fitting rooms, but Billy’s legs almost felt like jelly from the look Sam had given him. Billy had amazed himself and was in disbelief on how he was keeping his composure. But that small voice in the back of his head had interrupted this feeling that put an abrupt halt to how smooth things we’re running between then.

_She doesn’t feel the same_

Billy watched as Sam went into her room. Billy became paralysed at the thought. Billy feared that if it came to, Billy would show how he feels, if he was understanding his feelings correctly, and Sam wouldn’t understand, or worse yet, reject it.

Billy noticed Sam’s door was still open and had to take the chance. Billy needed to be vulnerable, he had to trust that Sam felt the same way, Billy was only brave about this because he had, without a doubt in his mind that Sam felt the same. He entered and closed the fitting door behind him.

Sam was well into her small pile of clothes and was in the middle of picking something else to try on. At first, Billy was full of confidence and had all intention to show her how he felt, but he became frozen at the sight of seeing her almost nude body.

It was hard for Billy not to stare, she was perfect. A near perfect mould. A near perfect reflection of the traumas Billy’s body had gone through and didn’t end at the physical. Staring at her body, at Sam as she concentrated put Billy’s mind in relaxation, like he was looking at a classical art piece.

In fact, Billy’s mind became so relaxed he let out all the air from his lungs which granted him a strange look from Sam. She knew Billy had followed in after her, and it wasn’t like she was shy being bare in front of others, most of her life was being exposed to people like she was a machine to be inspected.

However, it was the way Billy looked at her. That small glimpse that Sam had caught of Billy. It kickstarted her heart and flushed the air out of her. It moistened her palms and dried her throat. There had been countless times where people had looked at her, but they never _saw_ her, not like Billy had in that moment.

Sam feigned ignorance at the feeling, she returned to her clothes and scoffed. “Are you trying on your shirt, or have you never seen a woman in her underwear before creep?” Sam heard movement and once it stopped she managed to get into her jeans and examined Billy’s pick.

It was a navy blue cotton button up, long sleeves which Billy had rolled above his elbows. Cream white button adorned it with thin pale yellow and slightly thicker green vertical lines with the red Ralph Lauren logo. Billy had left the top button undone but the rest seemed too…. Constricting. It didn’t quite look like him. It wasn’t an easy going look having almost all the buttons up.

Sam took a step closer, she was so close to Billy. He could feel her breath against his skin, her heat from her body and his heart pounded, he was afraid that Sam would hear it. But it only got more nerve racking from there.

Sam reached up and began to unbutton the shirt. Billy’s mind scattered like jigsaw pieces and that voice, that annoying voice screamed _It’s happening!_ Billy softly grasped Sam’s hands and closed his eyes. He had to stop it anyway he could, he was scared, embarrassed. Billy softly whispered “It’s ugly underneath.”

Sam pursed her lips, trying to fight away the sad look on her face as she ever so gently pushed passed his calloused hands and continued. Sam stopped halfway, and took a small step back to examine and smiled. “Handsome.” Billy didn’t want to admit it, but it did feel more comfortable. More _him_.

Billy finally met her gaze and that electric feeling was unmistakable. Sam felt it too. The look in Billy’s crystal blue eyes. She has seen it before, in small portions, but right now it was the strongest it ever was. His eyes were so soft. His whole body was relaxed. His face was…. At peace.

Billy saw the same look in Sam. So he became brave again. He took the step forward and became so close. Sam’s breath was on his bare skin was like an open flame but cooled his flushed chest. They both knew what was coming next. They were both nervous. But Billy was learning to open himself to someone, someone worth being vulnerable to. So he knew what needed to be done to show this. He craned his neck and--

“We should probably--They probably think we’re stealing.” Sam blurted. Turning away, she slipped her t-shirt back on. Billy closed his eyes and worked his jaw. _Of course she doesn’t feel the same._ Sam tried not rushing out but she was out before Billy could change back into his own clothes.

Billy was glad though to get the few moments alone. His eyes had dropped to the floor and so did his gut. His chest was the worst. It became tight and ached. It didn’t take him long to recover though. Billy was used to hiding pain, so why should this time be any different?

When he emerged from the fitting room, Billy eyed Sam’s items and in a flat tone spoke “That what you want?” Sam was a bit shocked. She was still trying to gather herself but it seemed Billy had passed it like it was nothing and for some god awful reason, Sam felt her own chest tighten from the knowledge.

Sam nodded when she finally processed his question and Billy nodded in response. “Alright. Meet me in the food court in half an hour. Avoid security or anyone who looks like a pig. Got it?” Sam nodded, taking in Billy’s directions but still not understanding the reason.

Once she handed Billy the garments, Billy made a B-line to the doro with his own choice of shirt in hand and once he stepped over the threshold of the store, he broke into a sprint. Sam watched in awe as everything happened. The clerk had shouted and even tried darting after him but Billy was already long gone.

Sam smiled and thought to herself _so much for a low profile_.

\---

Sam had stayed back in the store for a good five more minutes as not to seem suspicious and finally headed out. She wandered the mall and did exactly as Billy instructed. If she saw someone with even a slight authoritative demeanor, she ducked into the closest store or ladies rood and waited a couple of minutes.

This small tactic had taken up at least 15 minutes of the designated time, so she decided to find her way to the food court. As she slowly made her way there, looking around, she wondered how she ever found her way out of the mall she found Billy in.

_Oh no, Billy!_

Sam’s pace made haste toward the food court. The food court. Of all places Billy wanted to meet. Yes, Billy seemed fine in the shops, but Sam was quickly reminded for the first time she ever laid eyes on Billy, on his deathly still body.

Sam entered a large open area with tables all in the middle and a variety of fast food joints tucked on the outside. Sam’s eyes feverishly scanned the large area. She was still five minutes early, but her chest heaved and made time feel slower.

Finally, Sam’s eyes recognised billy’s stature. His clothes. His hair. His eyes. But it wasn’t him. It looked like an empty shell of Billy. His once vibrant, fierce blue eyes were panicked and darted all around the open space. His body looked locked up but looked he would buckle any moment. His rough hands looked weak as they clenched on the items they got. His sun kissed skin was pale and sickly.

Sam couldn’t feel it, but she saw how much weight the walls were putting on Billy who already looked so small. Sam made her way to Billy, pushing past crowds of people and never leaving her eyes from him. Sam knew exactly what Billy was going through. She used to have to either calm herself or her siblings. Billy was having a major panic attack.

Sam felt like her legs were treading through mud, it felt like she wasn’t making any progress. Before she knew it though, like her silent prayers were answered, her hand had gently found it’s way on Billy’s trembling shoulder.

Sam knew better than to touch someone having a panic attack without them knowing, but she needed his attention fast. And it worked. Billy spun to lock his panicked eyes on to Sam’s, his knees buckling the slightest. Sam put on a brave face and a gentle yet firm tone. “Billy, can I carry you out?” Billy’s eyes tossed around, it seemed he didn’t quite understand until he tried walking himself, but his legs failed him. Billy sluggishly nodded and welcomed Sam to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

Despite his panic, Billy managed to consider not putting all his weight on Sam as she helped him to the closest exit to the outdoors. Sam never had the luxury of getting the fresh air when she needed it, but it was obvious it would help.

The natural sunlight both blinded them for a second, but Sam was quick to let Billy rest on the grass. As soon as he was comfortable, Sam sat directly in front of him and hovered her hands by his face. “Billy, is it ok if I touch you?” Billy nodded sluggishly again.

Sam gently cupped Billy’s sweaty face and stared gently into Billy’s large blue eyes. “Billy, I need you to breathe with me ok? Ready? In” Sam breathed in deep “Out” She sighed long and deep. And did it again and again and Billy mirrored her. At some point, Billy had held his hand over Sam’s, keeping it against his cheeks.

Billy managed to steady his own breathing, but his body continued to shake and his mind still raced. As Billy’s body began to relax, Sam had helped him to lie more comfortably on the ground and held his head pressed to her chest. Either Billy imagined it or not, he heard Sam tell him to concentrate on listening to her heart.

Everything Sam had done helped, so well that Billy had drifted to sleep. Only to jolt awake for what felt like hours later to him. Billy looked around and realised he was still outside the mall. It was lucky Sam found a fairly secluded area around the back to save stares.

When he finally saw SAm, she looked drained. She too was just awaking, but Billy had noticed a spot of blood under her nose. Billy rubbed his eyes and groaned “What the Hell happened?” Sam struggled to sit up right and winced “You had a panic attack.”

Billy couldn’t quite recall everything, but he knew it took a lot out of him and was starving. But first, he had to make sure Sam was ok, the nosebleed was a clear indication that Sam was feeling worse for wear. Billy reached a hand towards her nose. Same wiped the small droplets away and made her way onto her feet. “It’s nothing. At least we got outfits for tonight.”

Billy laughed ti himself. After all that Sam had still wanted to go out to this damn party tonight. Billy cocked an eyebrow and stared up at her “You’re relentless.” and struggled to stand himself. Billy stretched and cracked his neck. “I think we need food before we need alcohol.” Sam nodded and stretched her own body.

As they made their way back to the car, Billy tried to formulate the right combination of words in his head to speak to Sam, it was obviously awkward between the two of them now but Billy wanted to change that and regretted ever making a move on Sam, but with everything he was trying to think of to say, it just kept bringing back to the scene in the fitting room. So Billy just left his mouth move. “That-- What happened in the fitting room-- I--” “It’s ok.” Sam had to cut in. It was almost becoming embarrassing.

But a brisk moment of silence ensued. “Thank you. By the way, For the--” Billy blurted again. “It must have taken a lot out of you.” Billy motioned at his nose, implying her bloodied nose. Sam smiled as Billy stumbled on his words. “Let’s just… Get something to eat, go to this party and drink to forget it all happened.”

Billy took the hint that Sam wanted it to be the final word on the incident, and he agreed…. Up until the point where they were going to drink to forget. Billy watched Sam in secret as they made their way to the car. Billy didn’t think he wanted to forget it. Not the part where he listened to her heart, the way she saved him, they way her breath felt against his skin in the fitting room, the closeness they had. The way she looked at him and he looked at her.

Billy was certain that Sam felt it too in the changeroom, but couldn't understand why she rejected it. Rejected him. Then Billy realised, maybe Sam was right. It might be better to drink and forget.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a hard time letting go of character's that died and i attached to soo....


End file.
